10/08/2010 06:35 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Why Duke University's Karen Owen Is the Sexual Oversharer of All Time! And Good Luck Getting a Job!

Forget Jessica Simpson's gas attacks or the Kardashian sisters' obsessions with 'lube' and bikini waxing. Duke university grad Karen Owen has become an overnight celebrity for her detailed PowerPoint of 13 of her lovers' social skills.

This 22-year-old wrote a personal "senior honors thesis" on her sexual flings and binges with 13 of Duke University's most desirable men, mostly well-built male athletes.

Now, Karen Owen didn't just describe her sexual encounters, she named the men, used their photos and then ruthlessly evaluated their sexual techniques and equipment (or lack thereof) in highly specific detail.

She grades each of her "subjects" on physical attractiveness, "size" (as in the penile variety), talents, creativity, aggressiveness (which she likes), entertainment, athletic ability and "bonus."

Bonus points were given for "extraneous" factors such as the presence of an Australian accent and points were deducted for "rudeness of being Canadian." Wow, does that mean that being Canadian, in bed, is just plain rude? Warning to Justin Bieber especially: DO NOT have relations with Karen Owen.

Now, Karen Owen -- who was a biological anthropology major -- perhaps thought her opus sexual critique was a positive expression of her course of study. She now claims it was all a joke. At least that's what she told some of the press.

What it tells me is that biological anthropology was clearly not that demanding a course of study, and that she had a HUGE amount of time on her hands. She spent countless hours in local bar Shooters drinking endlessly and picking up her subjects, then bedding them and finally documenting in explicit detail the memorable moment of their hot (and not) hookups.

It's TMI time of epic proportions: From their pillow talk to positions, to her preferences for violent sex! TMI, TMI, TMI.

What all this also tells me about Karen Owens is that she is self-absorbed and evilly passive-aggressive, despite her protests now that she only intended the PowerPoint sex critique to go to three friends and that "I regret it with all my heart. I would never intentionally hurt the people that are mentioned on that."