Fear Crowds out Love and Joy

I just spent a year writing about prayer. The biggest impact of interviewing 50 women on prayer, including well know people like Maya Angelou, Edie Falco, Barbara Bush, and Kathie Lee Gifford, was to make me less ego driven, less likely to try to control everything, and more at peace with myself.

As a super achiever all my life (Paralympic ski medalist, Rhodes Scholar, former White House economic official) I was so used to driving ahead, trying to be successful, and feeling like I had to "make it happen" all the time. I define fear as the belief that you are supposed to control everything combined with the knowledge that you cannot. Fear is the constant waiting for one of the balls to drop.

Interviewing women and listening to the ways they find inner strength and peace from nature, solitude, meditation and so many other ways of praying (even dancing!) helped me to find my own ways to slow down a little, to trust the bigger process, and to let go of the fear I was so used to living with everyday.

I find that fear-even little fears like "Will I be late?" "Did I wear the right clothes?" "Will so and so take my call?"-fear shuts out joy and love. By reducing the fear that drives me every day, I make so much more room for love. I have more energy to look at my daughter's smile, to care for myself, and to just marvel at the world.

Are you letting little or big fears crowd out your joy in being alive? Tell me about it. I'd love to hear from you!

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