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Obama to White Sox Fans - You're Ugly!

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In an effort to appeal to bitter, disaffected voters who carry "an antipathy to people who are not like them," Barack Obama publicly supported the Chicago White Sox and their brand of "serious" baseball during a recent interview,CST-NWS-fans26.article with ESPN's Stuart Scott.

The Junior Senator from Illinois also used the opportunity to deliver a political blow to North Side baseball fans, many of whom may or may not know how many homes they own.

"You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer, beautiful people up there" said Obama, squeezing in a dig at Cindy McCain and her Anheuser-Busch bottling empire. "People aren't watching the game. It's not serious. White Sox, that's baseball. South Side."


While recognizes that the soon-to-be nominee needs to brush back charges of elitism in order to win the general election, his pandering to downtrodden Sox fans (who will probably write in their votes for Daley anyway) has officially exceeded his political pitch count. We can live with a pseudo terrorist weatherman and narcissistic men of the cloth, but Obama's suicide squeeze into political Ozzieball makes some of us root for an 11th Hour brokered convention. At least Hillary was a Cubs fan for most of her life.

Ironically, the real hero from the Illinois delegation this week was not even invited to speak in Denver. Now we know why. It wasn't Governor Blagojevich's association with Tony Rezko or his perpetual 0-2 count with prospective voters that denied him the podium. In 2005, as Blago was gearing up for his reelection campaign, the Governor (for once) relied on his principals and refused to endorse The White Sox as World Champions. This, more than his $10 million war chest, helped defeat Judy Baar Topinka in the following year's general election.

So, Senator Obama, while our loyalty to you is ultimately unending, we ask that you show both principled and political judgment and rethink your position on the American Pastime. Illinois is yours no matter what, but you may want to consider that generations of voters outside the state historically are more likely to support the Cubs by watching nationwide WGN than the Sox via the fuzzy Channel 44 or ONTV's SportsVision.

For readers who feel as passionately as we do and that Obama needs to reinforce his Cubby bona fides, there is no greater way to express your support that by buying a shirt or bumper sticker at our online store Proceeds will be invested in research and development towards developing a sustainable business model for online media and satirical weblogs.

There is still time to make history.