Ever since I came out, it seems I've always had at least one friend who is way hotter than I am. Here are my observations of this sometimes annoying relationship dynamic.
1. He constantly talks about the multiple guys who hit on him the night before, and goes on and on about how hot each was.
2. You're out together and you both check Grindr. His lights up like a Christmas tree while you sit and pray you get at least one ping (it will no doubt be from a faceless profile.)
3. At a bar, he introduces you to the guy he just met. The guy nods, says "hey" and never acknowledges your presence again.
4. He obsesses over the slightest blemish and covers it with makeup. You say something about a pimple and your receding hairline and he responds, "Don't worry about it. You look fine."
5. He wears the skimpiest bathing suit at the beach. You keep your tank top on because of the contrast between bodies.
6. At the store, the sales clerk immediately greets your friend and ignores you (see #3)
7. He looks at gay pride as a chance to hook up. You're there to make a political statement.
8. He's out having fun on a Friday night. You're home watching a South Park marathon on TV.
9. He constantly tells you you're a great catch, yet he would never date you.
10. You'll never have sex with him. You're the one guy who has convinced him he should never, ever, ever sleep with a friend (though he's done it plenty of times before.) Congrats on this accomplishment.
But one great thing about this friend, no matter how many hotties he meets, you're the one he spends the most time with and that's got to count for something.
(photos courtesy Brad Wheelis)
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