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Bradley Burston

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What I Wanted for Father's Day, and What I Got

Posted: 06/21/10 06:06 PM ET

ABU GHOSH, Israel -- As a rule, the best times to be a reporter are the worst times to be alive. In the Holy Land, this is one of those times.

Relative even to the sub-basement expectations of the modern Middle East, the recent period has been a roller-coaster whose only direction is down. The reporter in me would stand to gain from the thundering asininity, the tabloid leadership, the tragic, reflexive resort to violence.

The father in me wants it to stop.

What to ask for this Father's Day, if in this bludgeon of a Holy Land there were such a thing?

Just this: One night, no more than a few hours, in which the only thing shattered, beaten down, and abruptly displaced, is the bitter air of hatred and despair that we here have all somehow learned to breathe.

Nothing more than a glimpse of a future in which the bedrock denominators of humanity, our hopes for loved ones, apply regardless of blood, faith and history.

Wouldn't you know it. For all that I had despaired of any of it, this year, in my household, this day which never comes at all, came a week early?

It came in this village, the Jerusalem foothills town in which my daughter and her beloved chose to hold their wedding.

A wedding does something to people. Perhaps not for everyone. But for most, it slaps sense into us. It buoys the sunken soul. A villager, a longtime acquaintance still in the glow of his own daughter's recent nuptials, rolled down his window to shout Mabruk! as I passed, just as I called out Mazal Tov! to him -- Arabic and Hebrew suddenly completing one another, enhancing one another. Arabic and Hebrew, suddenly instruments of joy.

I left my native America long enough ago that I have forgotten -- if, in fact, I ever really knew -- what Father's Day was intended to be. But I have lived here long enough to know what, just this once, for a few hours, it could become. A cascading reminder of the first moments of our first born, the tiny vermilion girl, shorter by far than my forearm, weightless, effortless in triumph over hopelessness, over the awful, insistent, corrosive gravity of current events.

This, then, was my Father's Day: In a single, miraculously defiant act of commitment and unbridled dancing, I received a marvelous son-in-law and an extraordinary extended family, with whom all of us, objective differences notwithstanding, felt remarkably and immediately at home.

For a few hours, a week early, this Father's Day was the best time of all to be alive.

__________________________________________

Originally published on haaretz.com

 

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02:32 AM on 06/24/2010
If we got rid of all the politicians, peace would be here today.

Congratulations on a Great Newspaper.
04:39 PM on 06/22/2010
Congratulations sir, and my best to the happy couple.
And thank you for the breath of fresh air your story produced. May it be affected by "the butterfly effect".
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califlefty
Oh how I miss real editors!
04:37 PM on 06/22/2010
Bradley, read this, it will do you good.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/qanta-ahmed/israel-and-the-flotilla-o_b_613660.html
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05:38 PM on 06/21/2010
Mr. Burston, in the past two days I cried twice, both tears of joy.
First time when I read that Israel will allow everything but weapons into Gaza.
Reading your article I cried again, it pulls at the strings of humanity in me. It made me feel the conflict, the pain that both sides are experiencing, and realizing that my children and I are so fortunate, so lucky. And that we should never ever take that for granted.

Mabruk to you indeed, and Lechaim.
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NTT
Fighting rants with facts
11:03 AM on 06/22/2010
Well said. Fan'ed.
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Richard Pearce
Atheistic-agnostic Canadian polymath
05:17 PM on 06/21/2010
Even in the worst of times, life, and love continues, and the twin rules of emotion (sorrow shared is halved, joyshared is doubled) still hold true. People will still reach across the divides that have been forced on them when they see another human on the other side.
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bklynsparrow
creating reality from unreal things
01:47 AM on 06/22/2010
And beautifully said.

One night I was coming home from my very late shift at Ground Zero clean-up. It was in December or January, and I was tired so I hailed a cab. My driver was Arab and he asked me why I was out so late. We started talking and of course about 9-11, Israel and life. We both wound up in tears both wishing for peace and an end to hate. I never forgot him.
10:46 AM on 06/22/2010
Very very special Mr Burston.

And thanks to those who have commented too - lovely.