THE BLOG
02/15/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

PETA Does God's Work...

PETA did it again.

Instead of doing something worthwhile with their lives, the deodorant-less People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have decided it's time once again to boycott something complete pointless. The war is over and hungry people have been fed so it's time for us to turn our attention to Spearfish, South Dakota where local Spearfish High School has been asked by PETA to change it's name to...and I can't even type this without stifling a confused smirk...SEA KITTEN HIGH SCHOOL. Oh yeah. For real. See this way people will recognize that fish are like people too and, according to PETA, "develop friendships" just like humans do. Let this be a lesson to all of you pot smoking teenagers out there...PETA means business so you better get on board or they're going to...threaten you again with...well... LISTEN...a B-List celebrity will tell you not to eat chicken! And that's powerful currency in today's society!

Wait. I've just been told by my imaginary friend that this might not be true.

Do you think if you work at PETA you're parents tell their friends and family that they're proud of you? Food for thought.

Anyway, what many people don't know is that many of the country's top high schools as well as many rich white people private schools have under gone mascot changes through the years...and not just because hippes and injuns complained! Below I have compiled some of the most high profile changes

Middlesex School (Concord, Mass)
Old Mascot: The Zebra
New Mascot: The Bi-racial Horse

Oxford Academy (Cypress, California)
Old Mascot: Paul, The Shiftless Son of a Bitch
New Mascot: Paul, The Patriot

Miss Porter's School for Girls (Farmington, Conn)
Old Mascot: The Fighting Daisy
New Mascot: The Arguing Lesbian

Dalton School (New York, New York)
Old Mascot: The Fiery Skinned Casino Owner
New Mascot: The Tiger

Foxcroft Girl's School (Middleburg, VA)
Old Mascot: The Foxcroft Ponies
New Mascot: The Lonely 40 Somethings

Paxon School for Advanced Studies (Duval County, Florida)
Old Mascot: Barb, The Librarian
New Mascot: The Eagle

Sarah Palin's School for Media Relations (The Cold Northwest)
Old Mascot: The Eskimo Hunter
New Mascot: The Eskimo Hunter who also has friends who are Eskimos so it's okay to say that

Harvey Milk School (New York, New York)
Old Mascot: Blowjobgivers
New Mascot: Blowjobtakers

Bell Multicultural (Washinton, DC)
Old Mascot: The Mixed Races
New Mascot: The Griffins