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Brandon Thomas

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Give Your Oppressed White, Straight, Christian Man a Valentine's Day Gift

Posted: 02/10/2012 12:35 pm

It's almost that time of year again when our society -- or, rather, our corporations -- project a view of what true love should look like. Some like to call it Singles Awareness Day or, if they aren't single, Valentine's Day.

But each year on this special holiday, a majority of us tend to overlook the most oppressed among us. I am, of course, talking about white, straight, Christian men.

For those of you living in the Southeastern part of the United States, you already know that it is most difficult to find a white, straight, Christian male to give a gift. No need to worry, though, because I have found the perfect two candidates who need your love.

The first is Stacey Campfield, a Tennessee state senator. Sen. Campfield was recently kicked out of a Knoxville restaurant, The Bistro at the Bijou, when the owner of the establishment recognized him from news coverage of his controversial "Don't Say Gay" bill and downright dangerous comments about gay people and HIV/AIDS.

Clearly, Campfield was discriminated against for his religious views. Everyone knows that the foundational beliefs of Catholicism -- Campfield's religion -- involve the concrete fact that HIV/AIDS was started by, as Campfield put it, "a guy [having intercourse with] a monkey."

Luckily, Scottie Thomaston understands the plight of white, straight, Christian men in the South, which Campfield himself compared to the treatment of Black Americans in the 1960s. Thomaston is the founder and creator of the Facebook group "Sit-ins for Stacey."

Thomaston made his point eloquently in his most recent Huffington Post article:

I will only say that I feel it's time to take a stand on behalf of all oppressed white, heterosexual, Christian males.

So to anyone who has ever been advised to eat at your second choice of restaurant, this is for you. ... To anyone who is, like Stacey, so thoroughly disenfranchised by our political and legal system that you can't catch a break, this is for you.

And so on this upcoming holiday, it is time to show Sen. Campfield that we understand his plight by giving him a Valentine's Day gift. That is what this day is all about, right?

The second oppressed white, straight, Christian male who needs some V-Day lovin' is Justin P. Gunter, a law student at Vanderbilt who recently wrote an article in The Tennessean outlining the injustice of having to allow gay people in religious organizations.

Indeed, this is a serious issue. If gay people were allowed to be voted into a Christian leadership position, just think of the consequences.

The "Good Book" would be replaced with Lady Gaga fan fiction, the traditional hymns would be replaced with Glee-esque, top-40 pop songs, and every Sunday would be "Drag Shows for Jesus." The Christian religion as we know it would be no more. Sadly, unlike "Sit-ins for Stacey," there isn't anything similar for Mr. Gunter.

Our fast-paced, multicultural, marginally-more-tolerant-than-it-used-to-be world is a scary place for some white, straight, Christian men. They're no longer sure of their place in our society.

So this Valentine's Day, do something special for the white, straight, Christian man in your life. While he may be an oppressed minority, you can make his day a little brighter with some Valentine's validation.

This piece was originally posted on The Sidelines.

 

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