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Bree Maresca-Kramer

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Kim Kardashian May Have Missed The Red Flags, But Did You?

Posted: 11/07/11 06:27 PM ET

Most fans of "Keeping up with the Kardashians," if they were paying attention, saw the multitude of red flags that Kim missed. Here are the ones I noticed, which ones did you see?

Just seventy-two days after their storybook wedding, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce stating, "After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage . . . I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned." Later stating, "It just didn't turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for."

Unfortunately, when a man or woman is in the lust or romantic stage of a relationship the old adage that "love is blind" really does apply. Kim was incapable of "seeing" the full truth about her partner, Kris Humphries. She only saw the fairytale, not the reality.

Now, from an anthropological and evolutionary standpoint, this is a very needed and important aspect in procreating the human race. It is nature's way of blinding the man and woman long enough to secure a pregnancy. However, from a logical and realistic place, it is important to rise above the hormone-induced brain and see your potential mates' strengths and weakness, relationship skills, life goals, and be able to assess compatibility. This is easy to say but often hard to do.

During Kim and Kris Humphries courtship, five type of blaring red flags were caught on camera:

  1. The first was Humphries emotional immaturity. Fans of the show saw first hand how this played out when he faced any type of conflict with either Kim or her family. When a situation would arise in which Humphries did not agree or felt he was being mistreated, he would shut down a conversation, pout, withdraw, and complain instead of dealing with the issue directly.
  2. The second red flag was Humphries inability to effectively communicate. He often would cover his mouth, turn his head, and mumble a sarcastic comment to himself or run off to tell the other guys on the show how they were being emasculated by the Kardashian women.
  3. The third red flag was their lack of compatibility as the couple. This played out more vividly while they planned their glamorous wedding. Although a couple having disagreements during the planning stages of a wedding is normal, this couples' differences were glaringly obvious.
  4. The fourth red flag occurred when some of Kim's family members saw things they did not like about Humphries and questioned his true motives. When family members do this, there usually is a good reason -- so pay attention. Relying on those around you, such as family and friends who have your best interests at heart, can be used a good way to measure compatibility.
  5. The final red flag and probably the one that ended their marriage was Humphries lack of respect for Kim. Whether they were driving in a car talking about money, their future home or vacationing, Humphries was more concerned with his way than respecting Kim's ideas, thoughts, and feelings. The rumors that have surfaced since they were married about Humphries partying and dancing with other women while Kim is working is a perfect example of his disrespect for both her and the sanctity of their union.

The importance of paying attention to the red flags before marriage is crucial and can save everyone a lot of time, money and most importantly, heartache.

Did you catch even more red flags? Post the ones you noticed in a comment below.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mkatt
09:19 AM on 11/23/2011
Now write an article about the 5+ red flags that the groom missed regarding the bride. These people spent their time together building a big tv wedding instead of a relationship.
06:43 PM on 11/22/2011
Knowing Kris Jenner, KH suggested hamburgers for the reception and the ring to be brought out on the back of his dog. And he wasn't joking.
02:13 PM on 11/17/2011
Wow, what did Kris Jenner pay you?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LaFemmeSASE
01:13 PM on 11/14/2011
I wasted my time reading your article. For a relationship expert you forgot the basic rule of a relationship..it takes more than one. Your lopsided arguments have me wondering if you were paid off by the family and if you were, you should give them a refund because your arguments are not convincing and are undermined by the very person you are trying to defend. I think the only red flag in this entire longwinded analytical toilet piece that you have penned, is the fact that it is stated that you are a relationship expert.
Well I am a CRAP expert and this article is just that-CRAP. (At least one of us is correct in our analysis and it isnt you)
11:34 PM on 11/13/2011
I have a question for you Bree . . . What did you charge Kris Jenner to write this article? I find it hard to believe that a 'relationship expert' would find 100% of the issues with just one person since, as an 'expert' you know that it takes two people to have a relationship. Let me take a stab at this situation:There was never a real 'relationship' and the entire marriage was fake and the person who missed the 'flags' was Kris Humfreies as he was dooped by this grifter family into thinking a sex tape maven could actually be an authentic human. Red Flags the public can't ignore:
1) wanting to donate (and presumably get the tax writeoff for) gifts purchased by others for the fake wedding,
2) refusing to return a ring given to you when you have no intention on remaining married to this man,
3) saying its 'ridiculous' that you have to address why your 72 day marriage was not fake from the start
and
4) The PR machine is wasting no time in trying to trash the soon to be ex husband (Exhibit A: This article)
12:46 AM on 11/12/2011
Sadly as soon as I saw them fighting about money, I knew they were done. Secondly, Kim in Minnesota? He must have thought he was marrying someone else. Also i do not care what she does or spends, she does work her butt off. He said more than once she was only a sales girl four years ago, and once they moved and had kids people would forget about her. That was mean and she said nothing! I mean she is all about the glam! It is one of the reasons she is so popular! And she loves it!

And one of the things I love about that show is the ship between the sisters. why else was Khloe in Aussie with her? She can be a bit much, but she is the tigress amongst the sisters. Notice she is there when the going gets rough, and she was also keeping an eye on Rob to make sure he was on track with his Dancing with the Stars stuff.

I do believe she was also loathe to stop something that had spun out if control....but I thought she seemed really happy with him in St. Barts. However I was wary about the ring....it looked to me like the exact same one Bruce gave Kris on their anniversary.
K
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RespectMyAuthoritah
My best comments are still pending
11:04 PM on 11/10/2011
Maybe the biggest red flag you missed is the fact that this wasn't a real "marriage" to begin with. How humphries gets all the blame is beyond me. His ex "wife" is narcissistic, greedy, and fake.

-She was given gifts which she refuses to return, and says it will go to charity as if she actually cares. Giving her gifts to charity means she gets a tax write-off, so she can keep her millions.
-She was given a 20.5 carat diamond ring which she refuses to return to Humphries for some unknown reason. You're divorced. What purpose does a diamond ring serve you? Oh, I know, she can just hock it at the nearest pawn shop and get millions from it.
-And to top it off, she was given $17 million for her "wedding." The plan was simple: make it look like you love someone, get "married", make money off it, then act happy for a couple months, before you toss your "husband" away and count the millions you made.

Kardashian apologists are exactly what's wrong with America's moral and social values.
01:11 PM on 11/10/2011
Totally agree with you, Bree. I also thought he was just disrespectful of women in general. So much so that I was very curious about his relationship with his mother and what kind of woman she was to have raised such a 'man'. That being said, I also thought that Kim was vain and very very selfish. Neither of them seemed to care about what the other wanted but at least she wasn't disrespectful of him as a person.
07:06 PM on 11/09/2011
After reading your article and seeing that you call yourself a "Relationship Expert & Pop Culture Analyst", perhaps you should go back and learn that it usually takes two people to mess up a relationship. Granted, not always, however you seem very keen on pointing out the problems pertaining to Kris, what about Kim? Where's the problems there? Oh yeah. You didn't use your Relationship expertise to see that side of the coin. This article would have been much better with both views instead of being so slanted.
08:49 PM on 11/08/2011
Kris seems cruel, insensitive, immature. and abusive. His PDA was inappropriate and she seemed uncomfortable with it but he either didn't notice or didn't care. I don't get why he wanted to marry her and be involved in a reality show, and only she knows why she went through with the wedding. My guess is that she thought he would be a compliant person and do whatever she wanted. He's not very sophisticated but seems bullheaded and has his own ideas of how things would go. I don't think she expected him to have a voice in anything. I think she knew before the wedding that it wouldn't work.
05:22 PM on 11/09/2011
She wanted to go through with the wedding because she earned $17 million dollars from it, that's my educated guess.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gen230
11:49 AM on 11/08/2011
Red FLAG#7 Kim K unwilling to make adjustments to her lifestyle to accommodate Mr. Humphries.

Dear Ms. Maresca-Kramer. You seem to be focusing on Kris' faults but, just as it takes two to get married, it takes two to get divorced. A hallmark of proper journalism is impartiality and to convey both sides of a story. By focusing mainly on Kris' shortcomings, you made this article very lopsided and biased .... just sayin'.
11:42 AM on 11/08/2011
This article is way to deferential to Kim, and places practically all the blame on Kris. What about Kim's constant need for publicity and attention, and how she found the perfect sucker to take on an $18 million ride? To most people, it's obvious that this was a narcissist's way of getting an $18 million wedding, and not really caring about the marriage.
11:21 AM on 11/08/2011
I think Kris was trying to bring Kim out of her dream world & "fix" her when he dismissed her comments & wishes & those of her family. They are a seriously deluded clan. Much like many people do when they get married, he thought he could change her disfunction by strong-arming her into submission. I think if I, as a Normal person, knew her, I'd do the exact same thing. But you know, you can't fix "stupid"...
08:56 AM on 11/08/2011
I'd heard Kim was intent on finding an NBA or NFL athlete; someone suggested Kris and arranged for them to meet. I think she really needs to step back and remain single for at least a year (that was the original plan before she met Kris by the way), and get some therapy as to why she makes such poor choices in men. She's a gorgeous woman and seems charming, but I wonder if she's too addicted to fame and notoriety. If so, this addiction has really made her a laughing stock.
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mffl
Hello? Is this thing on?
03:39 AM on 11/08/2011
You say you're a relationship expert? How is it that you missed the red flags coming from her camp? There were just as many, if not more, problems with Kim and her family.

The shows that you see on television are edited (by the K family). I recently read that E and the K family are re-editing KKTNY because they want to show Kris as a bad guy. This came after the backlash against Kim and her family.

The K family is in full damage-control mode right now, as is E Network. I don't think they anticipated the vitriol being spewed in their direction.

If you are going to critique the relationship, the very least that you could do is be fair and look at BOTH sides.