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Brent E. Sasley

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Talking To, Not At, Each Other

Posted: 06/24/11 05:36 PM ET

The Allison Benedikt story and its aftermath raise urgent questions for the Diaspora Jewish community. Why do Diaspora Jews feel compelled to publicly discuss the evolution in their feelings for Israel? And explain what kinds of Zionists they are? And vehemently disagree with those who don't share their same position?

Of course it's important to have such conversations. Israel is part of the community's identity, and its member care deeply about what it does (and how that might reflect on them) and what happens to it.

But at some point, the community cannot continue to be defined by what its members think about Israel. And after awhile, the conversations themselves become repetitive, boring, distracting, rude, and shrill.

The community is caricaturing itself right out of a Philip Roth novel, shoving its angst down its own throat. At the same time, it's caricaturing itself into two specific groups: Those obsessed with criticizing Israel, and those obsessed with lauding it.

Each group has created its own narrative, which it has elevated into a combination of myth and truth. The first group considers it the moral, universal-humanist thing to do to point out Israel's immoral actions in its foreign policy (toward the Palestinians) and in its domestic policy (illiberal democratic norms). The second group considers it the moral, Jewish thing to do to highlight the unwillingness of the Palestinians to make peace, trumpet Israeli security concerns, and underline its thriving democracy.

Like any meta-narrative, both have become so entrenched that it has become too difficult to question them and move beyond them, and especially to find common ground between them. Thus, those who criticize Israel are branded as self-hating Jews who'd rather assimilate to please the Gentiles than as Jews who care about their own people. And those who defend Israel are marked as bloodthirsty and vengeful soldiers who wear blinders and consider themselves so superior to others they are immune to criticism.

Of course these are caricatures themselves. But that is the point.

The other problem with this unconscious (or maybe conscious) insistence on dividing the community in two is that every blog post, op-ed, story, and news item becomes a site for proxy wars between members of each group. It's as though the Diaspora community has now created its own culture wars, and there doesn't seem to be any momentum against them.

All of this moves people away from the critical issues at hand. It's certainly acceptable -- indeed, it is healthy and desirable -- to disagree and debate over Israeli policy and what Diaspora Jews should do about it. But stop focusing on whether Allison Benedikt loves or hates Israel, or herself.

Instead of talking at each other, a more constructive conversation would eschew criticisms of individuals (or groups) and focus on policy differences. This will move the community toward a serious effort to discuss how it can best promote Israeli and regional interests.

Of course, it begins with a discussion of what, exactly, are Israeli interests and whether they are compatible with regional interests. That is a very tricky discussion, but it, too, can and should be done in a productive and practical manner.

Most members of the community, I'd bet, want to see Israel be prosperous, secure, Jewish, and democratic. Some certainly don't care, and legitimate differences exist over where the balance should be (how Jewish compared to how democratic, what it means to be secure). But figuring all this out is the important part. Such questions should be given the time and gravity they are due.

 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sam Bark
It's a MAD world after all...
04:48 PM on 06/26/2011
Mr. Sasley – Your discussion above can apply to numerous societies around the world, where splintered groups for variety of political, religious or moral reasons get estranged and criticize their brethren, such as the anti-Vietnam war in the USA, or B’tzelem in Israel. Sometimes such groups went to extreme violence as the Weather-underground in the USA, or the Red-brigade in Italy….
Your discussion missed a central premise, Israel policy and actions are the prerogative and choice of Israeli citizens and are not for the benefits or the ‘good feelings’ of either Jewish groups outside Israel. In addition, none of the outside groups live in harm's way, as the people living in Israel do; and these groups outside Israel have no skin so to speak in that game (except for relatives and maybe pride...) so their criticism is a hypocritical at best.
Those that criticized or maligned Israel say that they are doing so because they love and support Israel and want to see it a highly-moral society, the way they were taught in their bible classes to be “Or La’goyim”…. Well rather than talk, let them first walk a mile in Israel shoes and then I would like to hear their enlightened opinion.
All those people demanding Israel to meet higher standards are just delusional, Israel society and state is not different than any other nation around the world, with its good and bad points.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Brent Sasley
05:01 PM on 06/26/2011
I don't disagree with your first point, but the Jewish community is my concern/focus, and so I confined my comments to it. What other communities do or don't do, or the comparison to Israel, isn't necessarily relevant for the point I raised above.

Re the second point, I would disagree. Diaspora Jews are intimately connected to Israel through emotional attachments, religion, family, and institutions. Diaspora Jews contribute enormous financial and political support to Israel, and Israel itself asks for it. And Israel takes upon itself the right to make decisions that impact on world Jewry, such as the "who is a Jew" issue. Finally, the Law of Return automatically implies and builds on a direct connection between Jews in Israel and elsewhere.

Because of all that, I'd argue that Diaspora Jews have a right to be part of the conversation on Israel, its policies, and its future. At some point, though, I'd agree that that right stops since Diaspora Jews don't live in Israel, and therefore don't pay its taxes, serve in the military, and so on. I'm not exactly sure where that line is, but certainly so long as Israel expects support from Diaspora Jews the line will remain blurred.
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Sam Bark
It's a MAD world after all...
06:11 PM on 06/26/2011
Mr. Sasley, thank you for a thoughtful reply. I believe we are on the same page, but see it in different hues..... I agree with your assertions that there is an emotional attachment of the diaspora with Israel (and vice versa) I would not say that Israel is oblivious to the diaspora Jews’ opinion and feelings about its policy and actions, and there is definitely a ‘reciprocal benefits” connecting these two groups. People need though to understand that despite all the talk and circus going on, Israel is in a state of war with many of its neighbors, and that siege feeling affect the Israelis daily everywhere they go…
Yet there is a difference between sounding an opinion or criticizing, for good or bad, then acting in a way that is contrary to the well beings and security of Israel, no matter what the intentions are, similar to groups such as J-Street or Peace Now who support and collaborate with sworn enemies of Israel, ot those useful Jews that joined the Gaza flotilla….. I agree it a matter where the line is, and this is where I am afraid people get carried away with their emotions and skewed views and believe in their ’cause’.
hfpf
Wake up World.
01:47 PM on 06/26/2011
Seems that all the Israel bashers have had their say today. Israel does not need permission from any of you to function or exist they way it wishes to.
06:46 PM on 06/25/2011
Isral is prosperous and secure, and the real danger longer-term is failure to end the occupation of the West Bank.
01:35 PM on 06/25/2011
Half of all marriages of Jews in the US are to non-Jews. This fact will not change whether individual Jews "support" or "oppose" Israel's treatment of the Palestinians. And in any event, the true supporters of Israel are those who tell it to get out of the West Bank and the Golan Heights, and accept the Saudi peace plan (recognition within 1967 borders).
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Sam Bark
It's a MAD world after all...
04:00 AM on 06/26/2011
garvagh -- you have vivid imagination.....but very little information to back up your claim......
04:08 PM on 06/26/2011
Who are you to define who is a true supporter of Israel and who isn't?

This is the very problem Mr. Sasley is talking about in his article - the divisive claim that "only people who believe ____ support _____" that prevents any intelligent discussion and debate from occurring.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Brent Sasley
04:46 PM on 06/26/2011
Right. The question is, how do we move the discussion to that point?
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Sam Bark
It's a MAD world after all...
04:50 PM on 06/26/2011
E Q -- read my comment above.....
11:35 AM on 06/25/2011
One needs to know that unlike dictatorships, Israel is not a monolith, but a gathering of all types of people living free in a democracy that westernize and modern. If you want to read a real piece about how civilizations might actually work against their own best interest, just take this two min. read from Monday's Wall Street Journal, it is succienct and to the point.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304432304576371771855162448.html?mod=ITP_opinion_0
01:37 PM on 06/25/2011
Jerry - - A large number of Israeli Jews are obtaining German passports. They can "go back" to Germany if that is their wish.
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Sam Bark
It's a MAD world after all...
04:52 PM on 06/26/2011
garvagh -- do you have more fairytales......Israel is an open and free society and ebyone can travel and live whereever they want.....having say that can you explain how Israel population in reaching 7.8 miilion today, if everybody is leaving?
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lbsaltzman
Permaculture and Sustainability
12:19 AM on 06/25/2011
For Israel to define itself as a Jewish state means that others will and are having their rights stepped on. Israel is a state started by some Jews on land that belonged to the Palestinians and which was largely stolen from the Palestinians. I want to see that wrong rectified and for all the people of the region to live under a free and nonsectarian government. So no some of us don't need to see Israel as a Jewish state.
01:20 AM on 06/25/2011
And it was not "largely stolen from Palestinians." This is more dishonest, distorted, bigoted crap that flies in the face of history, and has nothing to do with 2011.
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Nwo2012
Sue me, I boycott products from the settlements
04:30 AM on 06/25/2011
Which part are you having difficulty with
11:36 AM on 06/25/2011
Hey LB, your narrative is without merit, it was not largely stolen from the Palestinians. Just as India and Pakistan were not stolen and Transjordan and Kuwait were not stolen.
08:55 PM on 06/24/2011
It is easy to talk to regular, normal people.

It is hard to talk to a radical, crazed, fundamentalist jihad organization (Hamas) who has sworn to destroy you no matter how long it takes, even if that organization occasionally tones down their rhetoric when English-speaking media members might be nearby.
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Nwo2012
Sue me, I boycott products from the settlements
09:21 PM on 06/24/2011
The "sworn to destroy us" meme is tired and worn.

Palestinian negotiators have already offered to accept Israel at 1967 borders. Thats acceptance of Israel by definition. Stop whining.
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lbsaltzman
Permaculture and Sustainability
09:27 AM on 06/25/2011
I agree. But tragically whatever the Palestinians agree to Israelis demand more. Israel doesn't want peace.
11:39 AM on 06/25/2011
True, but the "agreement" is not being honored by the Palestinians like all agreements they have signed. The recognition of Israel is only stated in English and the destruction of Israel is taught in Palestinian schools named for suicide terrorists, it is repeated over and over again in Palestinian media, it is stated repeatedly by the Palestinian leadership. Something that is "tired and worn" is the Palestinian demand for concrete concessions in return for empty promises.
01:40 PM on 06/25/2011
real - -- Most well-informed observers of the Israel/Palestine situation believe Hamas will accept Israel within its 1967 borders. Are you an opponent of Israel's getting out of the West Bank?
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Sam Bark
It's a MAD world after all...
03:00 AM on 06/26/2011
Garvagh - Is that from the horse's mouth, or your interpetation.....LoL
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Vlady
Better Late
06:51 PM on 06/24/2011
>>.. It's as though the Diaspora community has now created its own culture wars

Right. The Muslim, Hindu or other communities exhibit remarkable unity. So odd for God to choose the Jews
09:19 AM on 06/29/2011
Favorited. There's nothing uniquely different or particularly worrisome about Jewish Diaspora having strongly opposing views about the actions of a state that claims to be representative of their religion.
06:44 PM on 06/24/2011
Not "Talk to"... Speak with.