Michelle: And Tall Women the World Over Rejoiced
Up close, the First Lady's yellow Isabel Toledo sheath and matching jacket revealed an intricate wool guipure detail, a choice which reflected both her enviable confidence and her bold approach to fashion. From afar, as she walked Pennsylvania Avenue, her J. Crew green leather-gloved hands clasping her husband's, the outfit shimmered in the setting sun, effervescent as a glass of champagne. Photographs from this historic day will live on forever, and Michelle Obama, quickly becoming a legend in American history and an icon of style, wore an ensemble that only a tall woman could pull off.
Swoon.
I'm 5'10" tall. Michelle Obama has 3/4 of an inch on me. I don't know her dress size, but I like to imagine that we could raid one another's closests comfortably ("Michelle, I'll swap your gorgeous Thakoon frock for my functional Gap houndstooth trousers -- sound fair?"). When I met Michelle in 2004, a few hours after her husband's now legendary speech at the Democratic National Convention in Boston, we were eye-to-eye as she shook my hand, two women towering above the others, Jon Stewart barely coming up to our necks, and Dennis Kucinich barely hitting our waists. I wish I could say we spent the night laughing like old friends at the quirk that united us, but she had hundreds of hands to shake and I hadn't slept in 20 hours. However, I haven't forgotten how gracefully she carried herself, how confidently she shook my hand, and it's served as a reminder to me that where many tall women can feel awkward about their height, Michelle Obama embraces it.
Let me let you in on a little secret: we tall women, even the .00001% of us that turn out to be models (for no matter our weight or looks, tall women constantly hear "You should be a model!") go through gangly, lanky, clumsy, klutzy adolescences... and that's before we attempt to walk in heels. Usually, our feet are proportionately gigantic, which makes you feel even less feminine. Even in a Manolo, if you've got a size 12 foot, no stiletto offers the right balance. So you either live in kitten heels, envying the short women who saunter by in their size 4 outfits and 4" heels, or you shove your feet into gigantic, high-heeled shoes and grit your teeth in agony.
Being a tall women in college certainly has its perks. For instance, you can give your shorter girlfriend an early warning if the guy attempting to pick her up in a bar or biology class has a bald spot. And everyone mistakes you for a member of the volleyball or women's basketball team. When you graduate, however, you are presented with your two greatest challenges: surviving a mostly-male workplace, where your shorter male colleagues will tease you relentlessly in order to feel better about themselves, and finding a man with whom you can see eye to eye to eventually marry and have gigantic children with.
Michelle found her man -- (and by the way, Malia, who already comes up to her mother's shoulders, is only ten years old!) -- found her groove, found her style. She is elegant in her beauty, with brains to boot. And she is so comfortable in her own skin that she can make brave stylistic choices that border on controversial, both in the world of couture and in the world of tabloid magazines (as of 7:00 P.M. on Inauguration Night, as I write this, there are 309,000 Google matches for "Michelle Obama Inauguration Dress", and many are not so kind). That self-assurance is something many tall women--and women in general--take years to find.
When I purchased my wedding dress for my upcoming nuptials in May, I bought an off-the-rack gown that the boutique owner described as "a tall woman's dress" (which I won't describe in too great of detail, on the chance that my 6'4" fiance happens to be reading this). Truth be told, tall women don't look good in the gigantic Cinderella-style ball gowns; when there is so much of you, there's no need for so much taffeta and tulle. You are left with the silhouette styles, which although intimidating at first, accentuate your femininity and help wash away the memories of standing in the back row in class photos, or being taller than the majority of your boyfriends, or being asked to grab a pair of jeans off the top shelf at the Gap for a much shorter woman.
While watching the Inaugural Parade streaming over the internet, a coworker commented to me, "Michelle Obama has no rhythm," as the First Lady clapped and swayed to the marching band's beat.
After abandoning my initial defense of there being a time delay between the sound and visual that only made it seem as though Michelle was not moving in time to the music, I cried defensively, "It's so hard for tall women to dance! And in heels! Do you have any idea how hard that is?"
My colleague might not, but Michelle Obama knows how hard it is. And you know what? She dances anyway, and I love her for that.
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Coming from a tall family with tall sisters, 2 are OVER six feet, I've heard all the drama and trauma associated with height and women. Everything you mentioned was vetted in the household by my mother who, at 6'1," decried the cultural, societal and fashion idiocy of both women and men. "Be yourself, it's your skin, do what's comfortable," she would intone whenever one or the other sister bemoaned the fact that she couldn't "pull off" the depeche mode. My mother wore flats mostly, squash heels for dress-up. Though-thankfully, mercifully-they were height-weight proportionate, my sisters suffered various cruelties from both sexes. Neither was inclined toward athletics or fashion. The best thing about being a tall person is that you get a different perspective of the world like seeing the grime collecting on the door lintel. And the best revenge is that your dissers have to look UP to you!
Wonderful piece and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.
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Thanks very much, Dr. Vandy.
As a short woman, it always amazes me when I hear of tall women’s discomfort with their height. We live in a society obsessed with beauty and the status quo is forever telling us that tall is in. Embrace your tallness!!!! You are the envy of many a short woman! And height aside, what woman hasn’t gone through a clumsy, klutzy adolescence????
I agree that Michelle carries herself with tremendous grace, dignity and confidence. She has reason to! She’s an African-American woman with an undergrad from Princeton and a law degree from Harvard. She’s manages the perilous tightrope act of balancing a successful, meaningful career with family life and last but not least, she has by her side man who beams with love, respect and devotion to her and he just became the first African-American president!
Her sense of self is reflected in her bold, creative, adventurous personal style, but I must admit I find this entire topic a bit disconcerting. Because first ladies are not given a voice on Inaugural Day, but are relegated to a traditional role- look your best and silently stand by your man - we are left with nothing to discuss but her manner of dress to gain insight into this complex, accomplished woman. I wish this wasn’t so.
Just want to add how much I enjoy reading your pieces and though I may be short in stature, I’m not short on appreciation for your wonderful talent. Keep up the great work!
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Thank you so much Patricia... and for the record, one of my best friends is 4'11" :)
thank you for your wonderful article, especially about the shoes. i thought it was just me!
My sister who is 5'10 & acts stated how happy she was the 1st lady is tall & that a tall man actually chose his counterpart.She gets upset that tall men seemingly always are with short women.Some even prefer shorter women.Example I've been married to and dated a few 6'4 and nobody under 6'2 all like petite women. I'm 5'5 so kudos to you glamourous Amazons.
I've actually been told several times by guys that they would go out (or get serious about me) if I weren't so "Big." It would be nice if people were not so fixated on an image.
Tall girls UNITE lol I'm a six footer, and I wear heels, I figure I'm already taller than all the other women and alot of guy might as well wear cute shoes. I love the fact that Michelle doesn't slouch, I hate when I see tall girls do that, it doesn't make you look shorter.
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I agree about the slouching. My late grandmother was a very tall woman, but always hunched her back due to back problems. My parents had me take ballet as a child, and I think that really helped with posture. Of course, the fact that I need to stand of straight to see into my fiance's eyes helps too :)
At 5' 9 and a half inches, I was always self conscious of my height when I was in high school. My 5' 3 inch mother would always hit me in my back to make me sit or stand up straight. I'm sure I must have permanent bruise in my back from it, lol!
Eventually, I did take my mom's suggestions and found I had a very nice figure (even if I do say so) when I did stand up straight. I had some problems buying shoe - not because I had large feet for my height (I wear a size 8.5), but to me it seems that the rest of the world wears the same size, or have similar taste.
My husband is 5'11 (he tells the DMV that he's 6.1) and we both love to dance, I alway did. My son's are 6'6 and 6'5 (giant kid, just like you said) and both grown.
I don't think Michelle had trouble wearing the shoes to dance in but it was the long tail in the back of her dress that she and the President kept stepping on.
Yay! Let's hear it for us tall girls! We're here, we're tall, get USED to it!
Thanks for writing this, Brett. I'm a girl, 6-1 and 1/2, size 13 feet, and sometimes even J. Crew can't help me out. I sew a lot of my own clothes because mass production just can't get my size right (and/or charges me a fortune for them). I'm just warm and fuzzy about Michelle's tallness because people need to sometimes see that we can't all be put in the same box, there is no standardized person, and in a way standardization is a flawed concept.
Wow I am impressed that you sew your own clothes because of your size. My hat is off to you and I commend you for taking the initiative to create uniqueness for yourself. Keep up the great designing and creating so that you can be the fashion plate that you are. Keep sewing and know that you are a wonderful unique person height, shoe size and all. Blessings to you always.
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Thanks for reading, frogbreath. I actually have asked my dry cleaner to take down the hem of cuffed pants in long and tall sizes before to make sure they fall where they should. Victoria's Secret actually makes an extra-tall pant, and there is a shop in Chicago called "Tall Girl" that I suggest you try if you're in the area. The best part about Tall Girl is that all of their tops, coats, and dresses are cut for women with longer torsos and arms, so none of the sleeves that only come down to your forearms!
Thanks, Brett! I get to Chicago now and then. That "torso and long arm" problem is just as bad as the length of trousers.
I loved the fact that the President and First Lady attended so many inaugural balls. I sense their love and respect for one another in their dances. I think the President demonstrates wonderfully what it means to honor and respect a woman. His strength and personal power is only enhanced by his clear respect and honor of his wife and daughters. I think he is a wonderful role model for all men. I also love the new idea of the "Neighborhood Ball." I think it was very affordable (about $75.00 or free).
From my perspective, they were purposely subdued while dancing so as not to put the focus of attention on them. I think they have incredible dancing skills, but I felt as if they were dancing only so slightly for us -- not for themselves. They were very, very gracious and polite, turning attention to Beyonce and clapping for her before even what, twenty seconds? had elasped. These are not selfish people, in my opinion. They are true public servants.
How tall is Pres. Obama-In some picks I think she is taller (because of heels).
6'1 and a half or maybe 6'2. Michelle is 5'10.
Michelle is 5'11.
"...Dennis Kucinich barely hitting our waists."
Please. I am tired of seeing Kucinich made fun of for his height. He is the same height as John McCain. And he was my *first* choice for President. (John Edwards was my second, after Kucinich dropped out due to the media *again* refusing to take him seriously.)
Brett, you're a cutie. And I also noticed that Michelle didn't seem to have much rhythm on the dancefloor -- most of those "At Last" twirls were pretty laborious - but who cares? (You can't be great at everything.) I have very little to complain about regarding her fashion choices. And I'm looking forward to seeing all of the young, generally-unheard-of American designers who will be discovered thanks to her.
And are you the Huffpost blogger who says you can tell a lot about a person from the way they wear their hair? I'm waiting to see you weigh in on the side-part Michelle bob...
I actually don't think there's anything wrong with Michelle's rhytm. In fact I think it was the President who cramped her style. If you noticed, she did not want to take the turns (safe for the first one). She shook her head no on many occasions. On one of the other balls, when she was dancing with a different, and actually much shorter partner, she was PERFECT, plus I've seen her dance on Ellen and she's got much better moves than the Prez. I know the president and first lady have more pressing things to worry about, but I for one think it would be great if they were to take ballroom dancing to get rid of some of the awkardness that was there when they danced together.
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Oh I don't think it was that he cramped her style; it was that the train of her dress was heavy and long and difficult to turn in, so whenever he wanted to twirl her, she told him no so that she (or he) wouldn't stomp on and tear the train of that gorgeous gown. I think they have a lot of chemistry on the dance floor!
Touche. I agree with everything you said.
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5'11" here, chiming in to say how much I adore Michelle and her style. Another fabulous tall woman, albeit one who makes no claims to style, is Rachel Maddow.
I thought Michelle was great on the dance floor, but I will submit something to consider as far as dancing goes. I don't know about the other amazons here, but I grew tall at a pretty young age. Growing up head and shoulders above everyone else made me very self-conscious at dances. If you looked across the crowd of awkward 8th graders, chances are you'd see ME, towering over everyone else as I tried to look cool and pull off some hideous dorky dance move. Being extra-visible made me very shy about dancing. And having long limbs made me extra-conscious of not whacking someone with a stray elbow.
I also have a wonderful 6'4" fiance who makes me feel positively petite. Only one of his wonderful qualities.
I'm 5 10, hubby over 6 2, son 6 6 and growing! I like looking over everyone in a room and never felt self conscious about dancing in heels. I wear stiletto heels a lot. Work in a male dominated profession and the height helps a lot. I really could swap clothes with Michelle and I love that she is such a proud woman. But for the sake of my 5 4 mom and 5 foot best friend I have to say we women can come in all different sizes of wonderful.
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A number of my best friends are shorter than I am! My bridesmaids range from 6'2" to 5'1", which I love. And yes, Michelle should definitely open up her closet doors for her glamazon sisters to raid someday.
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I actually do think Rachel Maddow has excellent style! She wore these excellent glasses on the Colbert Report a few weeks back and I thought to myself, "Dang, Rachel! Work it!"
I too am shy about the dancing, but as I'm sure you and your fiance are learning getting ready for your wedding, I'd better get over it before the big day in four months!
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