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Amazing Grace: How Conversion Really Works

Posted: 01/27/11 07:14 PM ET

Americans love conversion stories. We love to think that we could be walking down an ordinary road and suddenly see the light. Even if we don't know many hymns, even if we aren't Christians, most of us know the first verse of "Amazing Grace," and at least once in our lives we've sung "I once was lost, but now am found." Some of us know the story that goes with the words: that John Newton, the white writer of the hymn, was a sinner working on a slave ship until God saved him and called him to a righteous life crusading against slavery. In the black church there are countless traditional "testimony hymns" that tell and retell a similarly glorious conversion story: "He picked me up and turned me round, set my feet on solid ground," or "my soul looks back in wonder at how I got over." Testimony hymns often introduce an extended time of "testifying," or telling and retelling stories of how God's grace has changed lives.

And testifying is not just a spiritual practice. Historically, having a conversion experience and sharing it with others has been a requirement for full participation in American life. In the 1600s, New England Puritans had to experience conversion in order to be full voting members of their community. More recently, some political observers have wondered whether there's an unspoken conversion requirement for the American presidency. George W. Bush's story of his religious transformation from irresponsible bad boy to evangelical family man spoke to many Americans much more powerfully than John Kerry's story of growing up Catholic and staying Catholic. As Yale English professor Michael Warner writes, "Americans care about the freedom not only to have a self, but to discard one or two." On TV, we like to watch extreme makeovers and interventions. In religion, we like clear dramatic movements from sin to grace.

The problem with the conversion narrative is that most people have lives that don't fit the classic before-and-after plot. When we insist on the standard story, we fail to appreciate the varieties of religious experience. In focusing on sudden change, we can forget that most transitions happen slowly over time. In attending to individual experience, we can ignore our embeddedness in communal life. And in making one transitional moment bear the whole weight of our lives, we sometimes fail to find a language for the long road ahead.

I was in the audience in 2006 when then Senator Obama gave the most famous version of his non-traditional conversion experience. His undramatic story failed to pass muster with some evangelicals, but it is a moving testimony nonetheless:

I was working with churches, and the Christians who I worked with recognized themselves in me. They saw that I knew their Book and that I shared their values and sang their songs. But they sensed that a part of me remained removed, detached, that I was an observer in their midst. And in time, I came to realize that something was missing as well -- that without a vessel for my beliefs, without a commitment to a particular community of faith, at some level I would always remain apart, and alone. ... It came about as a choice, and not an epiphany. I didn't fall out in church. The questions I had didn't magically disappear. But kneeling beneath that cross on the South Side, I felt that I heard God's spirit beckoning me. I submitted myself to His will, and dedicated myself to discovering His truth.

Obama's story of religious transformation is gradual and subtle. The grace may be amazing, but it's also everyday. As he tells it, religious transformation is about hope and change, but it's also about what change isn't: renunciations, revelations, ecstasy. For Obama, conversion isn't a prerequisite for participating in community (as it was for the Puritans). Rather, conversion is participating in community. It is "a commitment to a particular community of faith."

Last summer I taught a class at Yale Divinity School on contemporary American spiritual autobiography. When I was planning the class I started out with a list of conversion narratives, but I ended up with a syllabus that reflected a wide range of religious experience. The authors my students and I read wrote about converting, but they also wrote about seeking, staying, straying, lapsing and returning. Like Obama's, their stories didn't fit the familiar pattern of Paul on the road to Damascus.

We need conversion stories, but we need many other religious narratives as well, because conversion is never the whole story. We may convert, but we remain ourselves. We get saved, or we get sober; we fall in love, or fall out of love, or fall off the wagon, and still life goes on. The befores and afters blur into one another. We make and break promises. We gain grace and lose hope. We grow and we doubt. We find ourselves in new "dangers, toils, and snares."

The post-conversion Paul, wracked with internal struggle, exclaimed "Oh wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death?" In the years since Obama told his conversion story, he has spectacularly lost his relationship with Trinity United Church of Christ, the beloved community he'd committed to as a young man. He converted for the community, and now he has to practice his faith "alone and apart." And what most people don't know about John Newton is that after he got saved he continued to work as a slave-trader for six years, and he didn't become an abolitionist for another three and a half decades after that. When we tell their stories, and when we testify to our own stories, we need to remember and find meaning in all our befores and afters, and in all the afterwards still to come.

 
 
 

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Americans love conversion stories. We love to think that we could be walking down an ordinary road and suddenly see the light. Even if we don't know many hymns, even if we aren't Christians, most of...
Americans love conversion stories. We love to think that we could be walking down an ordinary road and suddenly see the light. Even if we don't know many hymns, even if we aren't Christians, most of...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Pembrokelib
08:30 AM on 02/03/2011
Everyone I ever knew who was "converted" became intolerant toward every
Religion except his own but did not become a better person.
03:17 PM on 02/01/2011
I think you are discussing conversion as a piece of constitutive rhetoric. I think you are rendering conversion as cultural. But if God is to be considered a reality, if Christ is to be considered a reality, and if the kingdom of heaven is to be considered a reality...then conversion is not cultural. Conversion is metaphysical. I like to think of conversion as existential...in the kierkegaardian sense.

I do not think, as you quote, "We may convert, but we remain ourselves." If we remain ourselves, I do not think we have converted. Paul discusses "the new self," times over in his epistles.

If conversion is merely changing your mind as to which ideology is true, then conversion is cultural and objective in nature. But if conversion is a reconstitution of self due to the phenomena of revelation...the phenomena of interfacing with God...then it is subjective and extra-cultural in nature.
03:38 PM on 01/30/2011
Religious conversion is little more than cult indoctrination.
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wom122
Primum non nocere
08:49 AM on 01/30/2011
People often convert for more mundane reasons. In the past perhaps the most common was to escape death or discrimination (an example would be how Charlemagne converted Saxony). Another example would be if you happen to be a Christian man in love of a Muslim woman in a country where you have no secular marriage. The Islamic law forbids Muslim women to marry anyone of a different faith so the man would have no choice but to convert or forgo the marriage. The list is endless but most of the time conversion has very little to do with fairy tales.
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
05:18 PM on 01/29/2011
The deal, nowadays? You give them money in advance. They promise you you'll live forever.
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Aquest
No one here is exactly what they appear.
04:35 PM on 01/29/2011
Conversion - it seems to have something to do with brainwashing usually starting at an early age.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mommadona
I paint. I blog. Therefore, I am.
10:59 AM on 01/29/2011
"Hallelujah, Imma bum...." ~ Now...from this I get that big 'hint' that 'conversion' is only a 'one-way street'. I don't think so. Spirituality~so many 'flavors' to choose from. "Organized" religions? Not so much. #DadaKnowsBest #religion #px
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02:01 AM on 01/29/2011
Very nice article, Ms. Hopper. :-)
07:57 PM on 01/28/2011
"Americans love conversion stories."

Really? Well I'M an American and I find them embarrassing. I think European stories of plummeting church attendance and a highly educated populace with strong critical thinking skills is far more in line with what we "Americans" really "love," thanks just the same.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Daleri Rileda
Jungle Jargon
09:24 AM on 01/29/2011
"For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things. For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Gregory Marshall
10:22 AM on 01/29/2011
"And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."

Look, I can quote the bible too.!!!!
11:24 AM on 01/29/2011
I'm not sure why you're regaling me with a disembodied Bible quote -- or more like a sermon, but you're wasting your time with me. I've read the Bible and it's not for me, at all. I'd be more interested in what you have to say if it came from your own mind, particularly if you have any evidence that a "God" exists.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ZiggyBlues
07:19 PM on 01/28/2011
This is my conversation, Santa...prove it!..Easter bunny!...prove it!...god, jesus, mohamad, abraham, shiva!... Prove it!...old mother hubbard, jack in the beanstalk, snow white. Why does the entire world belive in fariy tales? It is possible to be moral without religion.
07:58 PM on 01/28/2011
mega-fanned and mega-faved.

Bravo!
09:20 PM on 01/28/2011
I question how it's possible to be moral with religion, given all the commands to slay, torture and shun others in the handbook
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Mensch99
02:49 PM on 01/28/2011
I was a martial little dev!l when I was young.
My favorite hymn, by far, was “Onward Christian Soldiers.”
Now this has been purged from hymnals.
What is Christianity coming to?
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04:41 PM on 01/28/2011
Many american soldiers are muslims so it wouldn't do to sing christian hymns, would it?
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alterego55
"Always intended to be a factual statement"
05:48 PM on 01/28/2011
Maybe Muslims could sing "Onward Muslim Soldiers" but I bet no one would chime in with "Onward Buddhist Soldiers".
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michelesda
My micro-bio is empty.
02:43 PM on 01/28/2011
I disagree that this is how conversion really works. It seems to me that conversion is more like an attempt to fill a missing part in someone's life, and that missing part is the real key. It can be anything from grief over a personal loss to midlife crisis to hormonal deficiency and borderline clinical depression to being in jail to a need to change your luck or find new friends or whatever; rare is the epiphany that doesn't involve some sort of mistake, misfortune, dysfunction or disaffection. And if it works, that's fine, as long as one doesn't get too cocky about it. But it's definitely not for everybody and never will be, and what is strange is the way we tend to applaud it, as inevitably a fine thing. It seems to me a much finer and more laudable thing, amidst the slings and arrows that befall all of us, when a person shows ability to buck up, soldier on and win through life on character and merit, with no psychological crutches, self-delusions or braces on his brains.
03:10 PM on 01/28/2011
My conversion came about because of God's grace. There was no misfortune­, dysfunctio­n, disaffecti­on or some sort of mistake involved. There was no midlife crisis, hormonal deficiency, clinical depression nor jail time. God found me at the top of my game, so to speak, while I was aggressively ignoring Him. I also did not grow up in a church, nor had any kind of religious upbringing or training up to the point that I was saved, at 34. As a matter of fact, I was quite openly hostile to Christians. I would say that the biggest psychological crutch is the denial of God so that one could continue their lives believing that they are answerable to no one. That, is the biggest self delusion.
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michelesda
My micro-bio is empty.
04:04 PM on 01/28/2011
Interesting. A curiosity question: Suppose it had been some different god's grace, rather than the Christian one, that led you to conversion? Would that also have been self-delusion?
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
04:31 PM on 01/28/2011
Or, there's a crisis inherent in 'the top,' as well. :)
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
04:57 PM on 01/28/2011
I dunno, they seem to have some pretty strange ideas about 'conversion,' as though suddenly having an epiphany means they need to drive the whole Bible into their brains at face value: that's one of the reasons the Christianists love to argue with atheists as though all it takes for everything they say to be considered 'true' is for someone to be convinced there's something more to life than verbal thoughts and mechanistic notions.

I think their idea of 'conversion' has to do with 'whatever makes you accept X authority,' which may *often* come in terms of someone having an experience they find overwhelming, but in either event is hastily-attached to a whole bunch of authority-based 'belief' as though that were the thing. (Even if in the case of the 'Amazing Grace' story, it actually represented *defying* what the Biblical literalists were paying the guy to do, and sticking scriptural justifications on it.)

'Conversion' is a funny word. People have similar experiences all the time without acting like they've changed religions just cause they perhaps had a life-changing thing happen. I think a lot of people are primed to conflate 'I had a spiritual experience' with 'All This Bible And Dogma Must Be The Only Truth!'

I mean, yah, yah, I got the proverbial 'Engraved Invitation' from the Lady, myself. Powerful. Doesn't mean She said 'Check your brain at the door.' :)

Some of this talk just leads to notions of 'Everything or Nothing.'
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alterego55
"Always intended to be a factual statement"
01:42 PM on 01/28/2011
I converted to Agnosticism 30 years ago when I asked myself "What determines which religion one chooses to practice?" After being raised with the Bible and Catholicism and finding no joy, I read the Q'uran and the Bhagavad Gita. I could not make it through the book of Mormon, and Dianetics just seemed like a pop-psychology effort to me. In college, I took World Religions as an elective just because of my curiosity. This the conclusion I've drawn:

The prevailing religious beliefs in the geographic location of one's upbringing, and the religious beliefs of one's parents are the most determinant factors in defining one's religion. It is a very tribal influence. And, one religion's tenet is another religion's myth. After all my research and introspective examination, I decided no man has the knowledge or is capable of having the knowledge of explaining the supernatural, at least not yet. Those who do are either subjects of mind control or are charlatans. I have been at peace ever since.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dojone
nada
05:39 PM on 01/28/2011
I salute your insight. I have found that when working with terminally ill people, one can always detect the person's childhood religious beliefs, regardless of thier professed adult beliefs. F&F
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Daleri Rileda
Jungle Jargon
06:20 PM on 01/28/2011
There are Christians everywhere in the world. Geographic location means nothing. People believe what they believe based on available information and whether a person is able to understand it.

There can only be one truth. There can only be one Creator and cause of the universe that resulted in so much function of the elements. There is no denying that we have a Creator and there is no denying that His word in the Bible is true. (Read Isaiah 53 before commenting.)

You can go with what is true or you can go with your own imagination like all the pagan people of all times have done. The only way to have a clear conscience is to go with the truth of God's word.
06:26 PM on 01/28/2011
"Geographic location means nothing"

Sorry, again you are wrong.
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stettin
lux et veritas
10:55 PM on 01/28/2011
your own words are proof of alterego55's explanation. your various comments have shown
you to be a devoted bible worshiper who refuses any discussion as to the issue of its truth.
squat6971
59 *was* divine -- 60? not so much
01:27 PM on 01/28/2011
Religious Conversion = Brainwashing

Conversion *from* Religion = Enlightenment
03:11 PM on 01/28/2011
Brainwashing in the sense that the brain becomes clean; enlightenment in the sense that the brain is now filled with nothing but hot air.
squat6971
59 *was* divine -- 60? not so much
04:59 PM on 01/28/2011
Define it however you like.
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stettin
lux et veritas
10:58 PM on 01/28/2011
you gotta be kidding! no serious person could write a sentence like that! it does make one
laugh, however, so maybe your parody of logic worked.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fjg
a jolly good fellow
06:18 PM on 01/28/2011
Your definitions=silly

Ever heard of Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot...
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07:05 PM on 01/28/2011
i'm gonna wash them men right outta my brain...
09:27 PM on 01/28/2011
Ah standard fundy fallback #1! You are a winner sir!

Those men were dictators, they wanted the people to worship them, for they are jealous gods and thou shalt have no other gods before me

Check out Kim Jong Il for a modern example
01:24 PM on 01/28/2011
Converstion Story Danger

There may be a danger in the concept of conversion due to group pressure. When the group provides rewards for sharing a conversion story, the result will be people tend to have conversions. Not everyone. Some might be too honest to just follow the group and do a conversion because that is the norm. Those people will be seen as resisting to some degree and will not be qualified to be examples or leaders in the church. Only those a little less honest could be selected for the leadership roles. As time goes by, the church leaders will tend to lead the church away from honesty because that is the way that promoted them and put them above those who might have been better qualified to lead the church.