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Brian D. McLaren

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Father's Day and God as Father

Posted: 06/18/11 03:41 PM ET

It was probably about thirty-five years ago, before I had children of my own. I was part of one of those retreats, popular back in the seventies, where people were organized in small groups and each session began with an "icebreaker," a question to get people opening up and sharing.

Icebreaker questions were typically innocuous, involving minimal risk, maybe like an appetizer to stimulate the appetite for more in-depth conversation. So I wasn't expecting the depth of emotion that this question would open for me: what are your three happiest memories from childhood?

When it came my time to share, my responses came easily. First, swimming at a lake in summer when I was eight or so, when my dad would let my little brother and me stand on his shoulders and dive into the water. Second, walking hand-in-hand to a pond near our home when I was probably only four years old, when my dad helped me scoop masses of frog eggs into a jar so we could bring them home and watch them develop from tadpoles into little frogs. And third, body surfing at the ocean with my dad and brother when I was maybe twelve.

Someone in the group noted that there were three common themes in all the stories: water, vitality, and my father. For some reason, the third one surprised me. I had gone through typical teenage tensions with my father -- tensions common during adolescence and especially so during the sixties and seventies. But here I was, on the other side of those tensions, epitomizing childhood happiness in memories of closeness with my dad.

Like most Christians, I address God as "our Father in heaven" as Jesus taught in the Lord's prayer. I'm sure my positive experiences with my dad (86 now and still going strong) make that language and imagery positive and meaningful for me. I don't think of God as the stern parent, dominating and rigid, commanding obedience, threatening punishment, managing rage. I think of God as the one who places me in a bountiful, joyous world of lakes and ponds and crashing seas, one who swims and surfs with me, one who introduces me to a world of wonders.

I've met many people for whom father-imagery evokes little beyond the dread and oppression of patriarchy -- either in their personal experience or our common history. In light of the ongoing impact of patriarchy, I understand why father-imagery is problematic for so many people. That's why (as I describe in the early chapters of my book Naked Spirituality: A Life with God in Twelve Simple Words) I'm all for balancing and integrating paternal images with other images for God -- such as God as loving mother (see Isaiah 49:15 and 66:13), God as shepherd (Psalm 23), God as friend (James 2:23), God as gardener (John 15), and so on.

As someone who has grappled for years with how we imagine, name, and relate to God, and as someone who takes the Scriptures seriously even when I'm willing to acknowledge the problems I find there, I have a hunch about the New Testament's emphasis on paternal imagery for God. Just as we are careful to use maternal imagery to balance and soften the potentially negative dimensions of dominant paternal imagery, paternal imagery was used to balance and soften the potentially negative dimensions of dominant kingly imagery in the time of Jesus.

And kingly imagery, similarly, balanced and softened the potentially negative dimensions of the monstrous imagery for God that were dominant earlier in the development of human theological consciousness.

So I must remember that all human imagery and language for God is contingent, that no single term or picture can be allowed to reduce God to an idolatrous cartoon. With that in mind, I can joyfully remember the best things about my dad on father's day, and know that every good thing in creation gives us a window into the mysterious and majestic heart of the Creator -- a mother's faithfulness, a wise king's splendor, a gardener's insight, a friend's companionship, a shepherd's protection ... a fire's wonder, a starry sky's grandeur, a mountain's substance, the wind's invisible power, water's life-giving power ... and a father's delight as he plays with his boys.

What we love most in life bears the signature of God, and in appreciating those things, in remembering and celebrating them, in loving them, I believe we are in fact loving God.

 
It was probably about thirty-five years ago, before I had children of my own. I was part of one of those retreats, popular back in the seventies, where people were organized in small groups and each s...
It was probably about thirty-five years ago, before I had children of my own. I was part of one of those retreats, popular back in the seventies, where people were organized in small groups and each s...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
04:28 PM on 06/20/2011
Speaking as a father myself, your brief article made me cry.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
12:17 PM on 06/20/2011
""Someone in the group noted that there were three common themes in all the stories: water, vitality, and my father. ""

Interesting how some try to chain that to a book-lawgiver.
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Misterioso Adversario
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
10:51 AM on 06/20/2011
"I've met many people for whom father-imagery evokes little beyond the dread and oppression of patriarchy"

Like this isn't exactly what god represents? God is the ultimate symbol of patriarchal oppression.
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LintLass
"When you can balance a tackhammer on your head...
12:13 PM on 06/20/2011
Their 'God.' Part of it is they made their 'God of Patriarchy' 'God Of Everything And There's Nothing Else.'

The Christians have a very bifurcated sense of 'God:' They conflate a single tribal lawgiver, as seen through a book, *with* 'God' as in Everything. (This is probably why Jews have historically learned no good comes of writing or speaking that name)

If you look a little more closely at what's cited, though, 'Father' is not fondly-remembered in terms of rules, prohibitions, or 'omnipotence, omniscience, and omnibenevolence,' but rather, for so many, in terms of what we Pagans call 'right relationship' with both experience and the natural world.

I don't have too many of those memories from my own father: I think he was too busy trying to live with and reconcile to himself and reality somehow, to Christian expectations. Christians are taught to do that: hang the whole universe on some idea of 'Father The King and Order of The Universe' ...ie, paterfamilias: but know deep down, even appeal to, a sense that 'God' as 'Father' is wilder, more natural, more *personal to life* (Not 'personal as authority, judge, punisher, and etc etc, etc) ....In just those ways uncomfortably-grafted onto that 'Book-father.'

At least that's how as a Pagan I see it. The face of 'The God' that call 'Father' well, where I got my memories of time in Nature.. My birth-father, I respect now for other reasons.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
04:31 PM on 06/20/2011
You captioned yourself aptly.
09:48 AM on 06/20/2011
Veil23, you summarize the Evangelical view of God and Jesus quite clearly. From the energy of your post, it's apparent that this view of God works for you. On the one hand, I'm happy to know you've found a perspectivee that works for you. On the other hand, I find it incredible that you can speak of a Jesus who "was killedi in our place to pay for sin" with such apparent enthusiasm. Has it not occirred to you that a god who would require a human sacrifice to "pay for sin" is no benevolent father worthy of worship, but rather a monster worthy of only revulsion? The God I know is Love, not vengeance.

Yes, I know you could cite a long string of Bible verses to justify your point of view. Every one of those verses, in my opinion, is the creation of a writer from a time when the "vengeful God" view was accepted as the norm. Enough violence has been commited in the name of God! it's time for a new image of the Divine.
01:58 PM on 06/19/2011
We need to understand is that to have God become our Father we have to be born into his family. This is where the term 'born again' comes into play in the gospel of John. One must be born of water and of the spirit. This means one must be born of a woman into this natural world and then be born again OUT of fallen sinful nature of our fore-father Adam and INTO the kingdom of God by a new nature in our spirits. Romans chap 8 talks about this being the spirit of adoption which constantly cries out: "Abba, Father". This is all done by grace: Jesus became the rebellious son typified in the Old Testament that was killed in our place to pay for sin so that we, born with a rebellious nature from Adam, could receive new life and become God's children. Here is more of this good news: In the book of Hebrews the writer says that in these days God will make a new covenant with us. The new covenant is that if we come to him believing Jesus died and rose again and make him our Lord (which is our part of the covenant) then he will make us a son (which is his part of the covenant) and once you become a son the covenant is automatically done away with because when you become a son you receive everything by inheritance!!! God is my Father!!! You must be born again.
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Misterioso Adversario
THE THIRST MUTILATOR!
10:49 AM on 06/20/2011
Sorry I only have one father and one family, and unlike god, they are real and tangible, and actually had to do things to create me.
12:12 PM on 06/20/2011
Just so you know when God made Adam he made his spirit in his own image and then formed his body out of the dust of earth. He looked at the man that he had made and said it was good! God does not form bodies out of the dirt anymore. This he did once when Adam was made. From then on man's spirit and body grow together cell for cell from conception through procreation. This means when God saw Adam was good he was also looking down that great generational hallway of DNA AND SAW YOU...And said you were Good! Adam sinned and threw you away in spiritual death. Jesus came to get you back so God could be your Father once again. Pretty tangible.
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AntithiChrist
Rhymes with Grist
07:42 PM on 06/20/2011
Thanks for the really awesome human sacrifice, man-on-a-stick bit and all, and for elevating us above those barbaric religious options that are out there, but I really was born OK the first time.

BTW, and not to be a smart alec, but I read somewhere that your god spent 3 days atoning for everyone's bad behaviors, for all eternity. Would you say that math wasn't his strong suite?
08:47 PM on 06/20/2011
I'll use marriage to make my point. One is married til death do they part. you are married to and one with with a sinful nature. The only way to leave that union is death. Through the atoning death of Christ your old sin nature is dead freeing you to marry another, even a new nature by the resurrection of Christ. If you say your first birth is good enough keep the 10 commandments. Betcha cant. 3 days is fine by me because God is just. Ever wonder why a loving God would use israel to steamroll over other nations in the old testament?? Doesn't sound very loving, does it? God was protecting the seed that would be born through that lineage. He was protecting your right to choose him if you want to be saved. Sounds pretty loving to me. And anyone of any nation back then who wanted the God of Israel would of been spared because he is just. Your excuses will not hold on that day.
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buggeroffyou666
Hierophant of the Crawling Chaos
08:00 AM on 06/19/2011
My mother and for that matter grandmother were religious. My father was an alcoholic who was actually jealous of my intellect. Between his fist and her indifference let's just say my childhood was not full of joy, but big deal, cry me a river, many people have had hard childhoods lots harder then mine. My number one rule of fatherhood? I treat my son with all the love I feel for him every day. As far as god? I never sunk so low and been beaten so weak as bother with an imaginary sky daddy.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
04:33 PM on 06/20/2011
Belief has nothing to do with your borrowed cartoon.
08:00 AM on 06/19/2011
Whether God is a good father or a stern one is left to imagination. Normal, God is an imaginary character...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
04:34 PM on 06/20/2011
What a simpleton.
05:28 PM on 06/20/2011
Anyone who tries to make a junction between human paternal love and an fictitious fatherly being is a simpleton indeed. Thanks.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mari Harmon
Your Kung-Fu Is Weak And Obsolete!
07:33 AM on 06/19/2011
Christianity dipped in a coating of sentimentality.
06:47 AM on 06/19/2011
He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
~Clarence Budington Kelland.

http://thegreatquotes.com/2011/06/fathers-day/
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
04:32 AM on 06/19/2011
My only father is a Welshman from Lllanelli. Thanks to the solid upbringing my mother and he gave me I don't have any need for some made-up magical sky pixie father.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
04:34 PM on 06/20/2011
'Nother know-nothing.
researcher
researcher
03:15 AM on 06/19/2011
when we think of a God as a father figure we are making this god in our image as some fathers are anything but godlike.

what is it about religion that wants to make god in their image?

could it be that our minds just cannot get a handle on an infinite source of all that is.

by making this god in our image we can then have a god of wrath, a god that demands atonement, a god that punishs us, a jealous god, a god that has chosen people and nations, etc.

most atheists are made by such attributes of the human mind.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
americancolonyinhell
04:35 PM on 06/20/2011
Uh-huh. Yeah, you're view is really interesting. Really.
Gracey28
Lady Sunshine
11:32 PM on 06/18/2011
My real father was an alcoholic and to be honest not much of a role model. I have a few good memories of when I was younger but our family was so dysfunctional and through the years I've relied and leaned on God so much. I think God is a God of Love and it is my belief he gives people their own free will to make their own decisions which is why maybe there is so much sorrow and evil in the world. BUT there is also great joy and happines too.
researcher
researcher
03:18 AM on 06/19/2011
that variation of joy and sorrow develops the soul. we are being polished like a rock in a machine that polishes rocks and after rotating in that machine for a couple of days it comes out a beautiful rock.

as souls with time and experiences we come out beautiful souls; perfect expressions and reflections of god.
GHarry
Kitty wrangler
07:03 PM on 06/18/2011
Most gods are projections of parental figures so it's understandable that the Judeo-Christian deity is a male. If the Western world had been dominated by female-led Amazon tribes, religious history might have been different -- and the Bible might be a lot more interesting. In any case, gods of both genders are relics of the Bronze Age and have no place in the modern world. Indeed, religion has become perhaps the greatest political threat to humankind and if we don't learn to live without it soon, it might well lead to the destruction of our species. No amount of praying will reverse that deadly trend.
researcher
researcher
03:26 AM on 06/19/2011
destruction of the species can occur but destruction of the soul is impossible.

the materialist focuses on the physical aspects of life. the reality of life are expressions of the infinite which most define as spirit. every soul is a unique "collection" or degrees of awareness and unawareness in their thoughts and actions.

this variation makes every soul unique, indeed everything is unique even a snowflake. the infinite source of all that is is not in the "business" of manifestating clones or duplicates of itself.

it is the necessity of this infinite to create by manifesting its potential in infinite expressions. to do this requires degrees of unawareness and unawareness leads to errors that most call sin.

in the awareness of "god" all are innocent. ouch that took original sin right out the door. naw the human ego wallows in the idea of original sin; this leads to guilt and guilt is self confirmatory to the ego. ie look at me I am separate from god.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
04:27 AM on 06/19/2011
Why do you ignore the key insights offered in the article in order to then pass them off as your own while refusing to believe in them?

Some notions of god are relics of the Bronze age. Probably the monstrous ones. But they had been replaced by the kingly ones already by the time the Bronze age was done with.

And then the kingly ones turned out to be one-sided as well and needed further balance, brought about by the imagery of the Lord's prayer.

And then you have trinity, and the interpretation of church as "body of christ". Which has analogs in other religions as well.

I don't see anything deadly in that trend.
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buggeroffyou666
Hierophant of the Crawling Chaos
08:33 AM on 06/19/2011
Nice rewrite of history and blind eye to the facts.
05:02 PM on 06/18/2011
Back in the days when I was attempting to reconcile my recent Vietnam expeirences with what I found when on my return home I also had to reconcile my understanding of God. One Sunday during that peiord I sat in an adult church school class watching and listening to people talk about God. They too were attempting to understand who or what God is. This group consisted of about 12 people, an equal measure of men and women. As they talked my mind wandered. I woke from day dreaming when one woman said, "I think of God only as love." Then she added, "Love like my husband and I share for each other and for our children." As I watched and listened to her she took her husband's hand and it crossed my mind that they, as representatives of humanity, completed the picture of God. God blessed them both, male and female, as described in the Book of Genesis. When I look back on all my life's experiences, so far, I remember best a happy family (a gift from God), a happy marriage (a gift from God), and a rich life filled with all sorts of experiences from which I have learned there is always the other side; God will help me through to that side. McLaren's reflections on Fathers' Day and God brought that back to me. Thanks for the memories.