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Brian Harke Ed.D.

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It's Who You Know

Posted: 12/01/11 04:14 PM ET

"Network, network, network."

If you are getting ready to graduate, looking for a job or trying to find an internship, you've probably heard that phrase more than you'd care to. Sure, to be successful you need to have the talent the job requires, but talent alone won't get you the job. You need to know the right people.

And whether you are just beginning to build your network or think you're a seasoned pro (as too many of us do), there are simple mistakes that we all make during the process. The good news is that these mistakes are not hard to correct.

Below are some common networking mistakes and ways to improve your networking results.

Note: Most people don't realize how often they're in a position to network. Networking opportunities aren't always special "invitation only" gatherings. Networking happens every day...and you can make your own opportunities. Talk to your friends about who they might know in your field of interest. Ask for an introduction. Pay attention when people mention their job at a party. If you read an article that resonates with you, send the author a complimentary email and introduce yourself. Have coffee with your instructor to discuss your career goals. Reach out to alumni, talk to other classmates, and don't forget to ask your parents who they might know. There are endless opportunities to make new contacts and grow your network. Be creative. Be proactive.

The Hard Sell
Networking is all about getting your name in front of someone and developing a relationship. Share your story and successes, but don't be a pushy salesperson. You should be marketing yourself, not selling yourself. They are very different approaches.

There is nothing worse than an over ambitious person who comes off self-centered, desperate to impress, and takes no interests in the other person. They spend the majority of the time talking about themselves and their accomplishments. This is selling, and it's something you should avoid.

If you are familiar with marketing, you know it's about understanding your audience and how to appeal to them in an effective way. It's about how to position yourself so people respond to you and what you have to offer.

Fix:
Think in marketing terms. You are a product trying to reach a particular target market. You need to create a brand for yourself. Start this process by positioning yourself so that others will be interested in you.

Before a networking opportunity, think about who you are, your strengths and interests, and then how to summarize that. Package it in a succinct "elevator pitch" that hits all your points. An elevator pitch is a casual 30-second or less pitch (something you could start and finish in the time it takes you to go up the elevator... with others listening) about your interests, strengths and accomplishments. It's your conversation starter, and is designed to lead to further discussion. If you can literally write it on the back of your business card, then you have a concise position. If it doesn't fit on the back of the card, it's too long... start again.

Your elevator pitch and positioning will evolve with time and as you receive feedback. But remember, you don't need to sell.

Talking Too Much
Many people fall into the trap of talking about themselves too much when networking. Networking only works when it is a two way street. Remember these two rules below.

1. Don't over share
2. Make the other person feel valued.

When you find yourself among people in industries and careers that interest you, start out by introducing yourself and then focus on them. Ask how they got their start, what they love about their job, and what kind of things they work on.

Listen to what they say and read their body language. If they're engaged in the conversation and aren't looking for the exit, then it's appropriate to work in the points of your elevator pitch. Keep in mind that it's a conversation. Give the other person time to react and don't forget to listen. If you dominate the conversation, you're probably selling.

Whatever you do, don't be a "hanger on." Once the conversation dies, move on. Let the person know that it was nice to meet them, and if you made a connection (you won't with everyone), ask if you can follow up with them in the future.

Make sure to use your marketing tools: your business card and a genuine "Thank You." They are both part of your brand image. Keep in mind people will remember the impression you made on them (your image), much longer than anything you said.

Expecting a Job
Too often people network like a hawk circling prey. Their focus is purely on job prospects. They network by asking everyone they meet about jobs, or for their help finding one. Be careful not to come off needy and desperate. If you attend an event and focus solely on job opportunities, people will figure you out and shy away. They will be less likely to help you in the future.

Fix: Slow down. Think of networking as a chain of events which starts with creating your brand and positioning yourself so that others will like you and find value in what you have to offer. Making a good impression on one person may lead to another contact, and so on and so on. Eventually, the job opportunity will present itself. You can't force it to happen. But that's not a reason to be lazy. Networking is a lot of work. You need to do your homework and be willing to make yourself available to others.

Before a networking opportunity, do some research and find out something about the people you might meet (marketing research). Try to find common interests prior to the event. Remember: know your market...and listen. Find out how you can help them.

Don't be afraid to offer your help...even if it is volunteering. It is a great way to show off your talents. It also shows that you are willing to work hard to be successful. This contributes to the brand image you are trying to create for yourself. Contacts are more likely to help you if you show interest in helping them.

Forgetting to Show Gratitude
No matter how good a conversation goes, you can still leave a negative impression if you forget to thank the person for their time. This is such a simple thing, yet it's so often overlooked. Most networking opportunities die after the first meeting because people forget to send a thank you note.

Fix:
If you take up someone's time, let them know you appreciate it. Whether you are at a large event or one-on-one, always thank the person for their time. If you have their business card or know how to reach them, follow up with a brief Thank You note. Not only are you demonstrating that you value the other person's time and insight, you are also getting your name in front of that person one more time. If you want to leave a lasting impression, make a good one. The contact is more likely to take your call if they think highly of you. Read more about student success and the power of Thank You.

Forgetting to Stay in Touch
Most people leave a networking event having had several conversations. Unfortunately, that's often where the relationship ends. Most people neglect to follow up with anyone they met, or only reach out to the ones who might have a job opening in the immediate future. This is a really bad idea. Networking is a life long process. You never know how the people you meet might be able to open doors for you in the future, and vice versa. Make sure people don't forget you. You need to follow up and stay in touch.

Fix: Follow up. Send the people in your network a note or email every month or so and keep them updated on what you're doing. You can also use social media sites like LinkedIn to stay in touch. LinkedIn is more business-oriented than Facebook. If you find ways to help network members out, share the information with them. Networking is about give and take. By staying in touch, you keep yourself in the forefront of their mind.

Being Impatient
The most important thing I can share with you about networking is that it's not about short-term gain. It is about exploration, information sharing and developing relationships with others. You should be in it for the long haul. I can guarantee that networking will lead you toward your goal if you continue to protect your brand image by being viewed as someone who appreciates others and isn't a short term user. Good networking is about being there for others knowing that someday they will be there for you.

 

Follow Brian Harke Ed.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Brianharke

"Network, network, network." If you are getting ready to graduate, looking for a job or trying to find an internship, you've probably heard that phrase more than you'd care to. Sure, to be succes...
"Network, network, network." If you are getting ready to graduate, looking for a job or trying to find an internship, you've probably heard that phrase more than you'd care to. Sure, to be succes...
 
 
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10:11 AM on 12/05/2011
I agree networking is so important in the job search. Pay attention to people you come across in everyday interactions, whether that be the mail carrier or your neighbor. You never know where the next opportunity will be!
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06:36 PM on 12/04/2011
In the Cinematic Arts, I can see how contacts can be very important.

However, for most people, I think having job skills is the most important criteria for obtaining and keeping a job. The sad truth is that most Americans are not interested in skilled labor jobs, jobs that require one to get one's hands dirty. Welder, mechanic, electrician, and plumber, for example, are all jobs that require education, experience, and a willingness to get down and dirty. Typically, today's young people want to make money, but not at the expense of working for it.
missprissanna
the weight of the news nearly broke my back
12:35 PM on 12/05/2011
It' past time to value the actual workers who do work hard and get their hands dirty...however, they don't enjoy a lower tax rate as the hedge fund guys who also seem to live by different laws....such as the hedge fund guy who hit and run a biker and got a slap on the hand and a big fine....a hard working blue collar guy would have been in jail instantly....don't blame young people who want to make money, blame the system that favors those at the top much more than those who actually work.
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TheTightwireGuy
Attempting to balance reason and passion
04:10 PM on 12/03/2011
While the advice offered in the article appears sound, the title of the article has the requisite "knowing" completely backwards. It should not be "Who You Know", because that implies that knowing someone, REGARDLESS of what they know about you, will induce them to hire you.

In truth, the key to successfully marketing yourself, which is actually described in the article, is "Who Knows You.". Because only if a potential employer, or someone they trust to follow their advice, knows what you can bring to the relationship, will you "knowing" them land you a job.

Why do I make the distinction between the often misstated "Who you know" versus the more accurate "Who knows you"? Because the former is only relevant when someone is looking for who they "know" to do them a favor, as in politics or nepotism, while the latter highlights how a new hire is expected to do their new employer "the favor" of providing their skills and dedication.

So please, job seekers, get this incorrect and misleading aphorism out of your heads. And replace it with one that emphasizes the truth about how to land your next job.
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Brian Harke
04:59 PM on 12/03/2011
I don't agree with you. If you don't know the person, they won't know you. Networking is about getting to know each other, therefore in fact it is about who you know.
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TheTightwireGuy
Attempting to balance reason and passion
07:04 PM on 12/03/2011
Brian,

Consider the following points:

(a) Other people who have the potential to hire you even though you don't know them can offer you a job. This can happen because they have learned about you from someone else they trust that has learned about what you can provide them as an employee or associate. In fact, this is how most of the jobs I and my friends and family have gotten new jobs. That phone call out of the blue.

(b) Even if you know someone who is hiring, you can not precipitate them into giving you the job simply because you have the privilege of being able to contact them because they are in your network.  That person needs to "know you" enough to be willing to offer you something of value (employment) with the expectation that this "investment" choice is superior to their other options. Because when someone hires you, they are ultimately expending resources (e.g. commitment of resources for your employment and relationships with others regarding their reputation) with the expectation of a satisfactory future return (your job performance).

As for your subsequent point--that you and a potential employer need to know each other--I agree that this is required for both of you to correctly agree to the new relationship, and knowing others can make it easier for others to get to know you,  but the overall emphasis of your article is, in fact, how to use getting to know others (networking) to get them to know, and like,
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TheTightwireGuy
Attempting to balance reason and passion
07:43 PM on 12/03/2011
Brian,

Please do not get the impression that I disagree with the content of your article, only the emphasis of its title. Because for too long, I believed in this aphorism. But my lengthy experience in the job market brought me to the following conclusion, which I shared with an experienced business colleague when we discussing how to get a job in this tough economy.

"In politics, it is important who you know, so that you call on them for a favor when you need it. But in business, it is important who knows you so they can understand and appreciate what you can help them solves problems."

When I said this, my colleague sat up, paused a moment and said something like this: "You know, you are right! I had never thought of it that way. That is EXACTLY how I have ended up getting the job I have now, and the one I will be starting next week!" In both cases, he was recruited away to join new firms, the first by his former boss, and the second by a headhunter working with a large Japanese firm. 

I could on and on with more examples, including my last two jobs, as well as the next one I am strongly considering. But, instead, I would invite you to reflect on your own experience to better appreciate the merit of what I am trying to share here.

In any event, thank you for your excellent article!
09:39 AM on 12/03/2011
Sound advice and simple. Job search talking is what I call it in The Panic Free Job Search
07:35 PM on 12/02/2011
So true... burning bridges, hoarding information, and going it alone never got me anywhere worth going.
05:42 PM on 12/02/2011
Excellent advice. When I graduated from college, I didn't understand the value of networking. Now that I've been out for over over a decade, I appreciate that so much of success is who you know (and luck, and talent)! Opportunies can arise from meeting a person at a jobs fair to having a casual conversation with a fellow patron at Starbucks. The larger your network, the greater your potential!
12:07 PM on 12/02/2011
Brian, great breakdown of what networking is and isn't. I've written that most of what networking is can be summed up by one Maya Angelou quote: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." And, as a former VP of Networking for a chapter of the American Marketing Association, I especially like your noting the difference between marketing and selling yourself.
05:43 PM on 12/02/2011
Wow - that's a great quote.
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TheTightwireGuy
Attempting to balance reason and passion
04:26 PM on 12/03/2011
Yeah, that is a GREAT quote. Thanks!
10:04 PM on 12/01/2011
Excellent and timely advice...not just for soon-to-be-graduates, but for everyone who isn't already in their ideal job. Thanks for putting all of these reminders and tips in one place for easy reference!