My birthday this year was on Thanksgiving, and school's out for the winter, so I have a month's head start on the traditional New Year's resolution. Here's how I've been progressing thus far in case anyone needs an idea for a resolution:
2. Learn a new language
I obtained every language Rosetta Stone offers and took a couple refresher courses in Spanish and German (languages I haven't spoken in years). I'll make more progress once I pick those two back up and decide on a new language.
10. Make a billion dollars
I have attorneys on two coasts racing to figure out my false claims qui tam case against the banks. These claims typically pay 10-3 percent of the payout. Force-placed insurance is a $5 billion/year racket between the banks and their in-house insurance subsidiaries. The Government Accountability Project hasn't turned down my intake application yet. In the worst case scenario, I'm documented in the media reporting on force-placed insurance in March 2011 and in the State Attorney's General Coalition's investigation against the banks in April 2011. That leaves me eligible for a Dodd-Frank bonus of 10-30 percent of any fines levied against the banks as well. Fingers crossed, as this goal is out of my hands.
15. Go on a spiritual journey, and 24. Become a yoga instructor
I recommend people fully explore their belief system by 18 at the latest. It's been three years now that I've admitted I'm an atheist. My meditation has been churning along pretty well since I moved out on my own. I start working at the yoga studio this weekend. Next year is going to be a wild ride, and these goals are my favorite reasons.
22. Get another tattoo
This is going to become an annual event. I haven't gotten tired of any of mine yet. I have the designs picked out. I'm still researching studios.
27. Have sex in a public place
There's innocence about crimes you commit as a teenager. I hate to date myself, but I graduated from high school in 1999. Cell phones weren't really around back then. You had to be ninja to sneak over to a girl's house, sneak her out the window (and wake her up usually), and push start the car without the lights so you didn't wake anyone up.
At 32, there's no reason you should be sneaking a woman out any windows. Dating isn't as much fun as it used to be. I haven't started on this one yet, but I'm sure I'll stumble across a nice chick who's into that sometime in the near future.
30. Do something you swore you'd never do
This has been a tradition in my life for so long, I'm starting to run out of things I swore I'd never do. Two years ago I jumped out an airplane. Last year I moved to the East Coast. This year I'm going to live homeless. I have all the financial plans ready. I'm buying the van next month...
Brian Penny is a former business analyst at Bank of America turned whistleblower who spent the last two years helping regulators and attorneys uncover the largest bank and insurance fraud in history. He documents his experiences working with Anonymous and fighting the banks on his blog . He's currently in the Tampa Bay area preparing to live in a van and training to be a yogi under Ally Ford .
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