It pains me to say this but at some point in every organizational change initiative, you need to call upon the firstborns in the organization to step up and do what's responsible. It pains me because I am a lastborn and it was tough living up to the standards my oldest sister set. But it's undeniable that firstborns know how to take care of things and want to do so. It's their nature to be responsible. If I don't do it, it won't get done. If you are leading change in your organization, use it to your advantage.
You do so by first avoiding the "l" word -- leadership. What I've learned is that there are many preconceived notions of what a leader is or isn't, or what leadership is and isn't. Particularly if the firstborn is not a manager, it unnecessarily complicates matters to label big brother or big sister's behavior in the workplace -- takes responsibility for results; pulls people together to get things done; initiates difficult conversations when an issue is being ignored -- as leadership. My experience is that firstborns don't seek the title; they would consider it presumptuous of them to call themselves leaders. They want to contribute to the enterprise so put them to good use.
What I've learned the hard way is that the greatest untapped asset in an organization is a firstborn who is not a manager. He or she wants to make a contribution but doesn't want to step on anyone's toes. They respect positional authority and boundaries. But they struggle with how things are going, particularly when they see where and how they can help to make things better. My advice is to find situations where they can step in and serve as a role model. This way you avoid the confusing situation of "why are you, my peer, telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing?" Recruit them ahead of time to be prepared to share their perspective or opinion in a group setting that will set the right tone of learning, self-reflection, or embracing change. They're likely to have as much, or even more, credibility with their peers than you do. Put them to good use so that they can make the difference they want to make.
Follow Brian Tolle on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BrianTolle
However, I can’t think of a single organization where I work (I am an adviser to people leading change in large organizations) where the term “leader” is a dirty word. I think people in organizations realize that it would be virtually impossible to run a multiple-layered enterprise without leadership. Leadership might be spread broadly (an approach that I think works well) or it might be tightly held, but there is leadership. There has to be. It goes with the territory. Even your suggestion to engage the firstborns is an act of leadership.
The title of your book, Getting Through to People Who Slow You Down got my attention. There are days when I want that book, and so do many of my clients. But there is a trap in the wish to get through to "those people". Often we create our own resistance. With some regularity, people introduce new ideas or projects in ways that almost guarantee that people will oppose them. The normal reaction is to blame those dull people who can’t see our brilliance. A more difficult, but often a more effective approach, is to step back and look at what triggered resistance or support. (This works outside of work as well.) Thanks getting me thinking.