Selling on Craigslist? I'd like to have a word with you.
I get it. It's hard to part with the stuff we collect in the day-to-day life, especially if you're one to hold on to (read: hoard) anything vintage. Or, if you knew you paid a few hundred (or even over a grand) for that sofa in your living room. But clutter can mean cash, so away to Craigslist you go.
No problem there.
But the thing is...your stuff, nine out of ten times, isn't worth as much as you think. For instance, that floral sofa bed set that has been with you since the first Bush administration. It is worth far, far less than, say, $190.
Seriously. Ask yourself: If I moseyed into Pottery Barn (or even Raymour & Flanigan) would I pay that much for that aged floral print fabric? No. I don't think you'd even accept it for free. Which is why you're selling it on Craigslist.
And don't get me started on finding Ikea furniture. It's everywhere. Craigslist's furniture category should just be called "Secondhand Ikea." First of all, no one *really* wants Ikea furniture. Usually it's a compromise or the panicked buy at the last minute. Sure, there are really cute things there now. But we all know that the stuff chips faster than the rarest of Victorian dolls. And after the crazed trip (battling through hundreds of families who treat Ikea as a viable form of entertainment), the assembly process and the inevitable exchange, paying $50 for a new Ikea table starts to seem a little steep, no?
So why do you honestly think someone will spend $50 after it's been in your house for years? Or that they would want to give you $270 for the privilege of taking an Ikea couch that, statistically, you've probably spent at least three sick days on? Especially if it appears to be velvet?
I mean, I'm still regretting spending $500 on a "starter" sofa from Ikea that lasted me five years before the arm inexplicably departed from its frame. The polyester cushions have since reconfigured into some sort of interactive art piece. Yet I wouldn't expect anyone to buy it off of me. In fact, I would pay somebody to take it away from my house.
But what's that, you say? You indeed have rare and priceless antiques, just hanging out in your home?
Nope, you don't. You just have a small cabinet from 30 years ago that you'd like to receive $525 for. 30 years ago, it was 1983. There was nothing that came out of the furniture design realm that would be worthy of that amount, in 1983. Unless Michael Jackson danced on top of it in the 'Thriller' video. And even then, its worth is debatable.
While we're at it, let's discuss the use of the word "vintage," which peppers the Craigslist furniture listings like a form of Tourette's. Instead of describing an item that's over 30 years old and stylish enough to be desirable, the term has now become a catch-all for anything dusty and unwanted. It could have been purchased at Urban Outfitters last week. Now it's "vintage."
So let's be real. Furniture loses value immediately. You know how they say that a new car loses half its value when you drive it off the lot? It's worse for furniture. Once it's in your home, you'd be lucky to one day get $20 for the thing. (Unless it is honest-to-God midcentury modern, where well-meaning people will line up to buy it, blog about it and then sell it once they have children, repeating the cycle.) Most furniture today is little more than overpriced fake wood configured in whatever style most people would find appealing. And most old junk is exactly that...old junk. There's also the unavoidable fact that it's been in your house, collecting stains and crumbs. And no one knows if you've been lounging around in the nude on the sofa or chair in question.
Think about that the next time you put your stuff up for sale.
To see really strange Craigslist ads, check out HuffPost Home's slideshow below.
The weirdest part of this ad is not that the llamas are for sale, it's that there are three kinds the seller offers: guard llamas, pet llamas or show llamas. Wait, really? Guard llamas? We didn't know we should fear these adorable grass eaters. Good to know! http://springfieldil.craigslist.org/grd/3174205644.html
We totally understand why someone would want a Statue of David replica in their space (wink wink) but honestly, we just don't see the point in a mangled one. I suppose we could use the severed foot as a door stop or something. What a bargain. http://providence.craigslist.org/art/3165789980.html
There really is no other way to describe this ad. The seller offers what appears to be an unknown type of dead animal carcass, a set of large knives, a gas mask, throwing knives, a pistol, an army jacket, a helmet and...a lego batman set. Cue the musc: One of these things is not like the other.... http://sandiego.craigslist.org/esd/bar/3173386445.html
We admit, this is quite a realistic-looking Rottweiler statue. And while we're not exactly sure of its original purpose, we'd like to imagine it could be used to scare off intruders or impolite house guests. http://providence.craigslist.org/for/3156781874.html
A few things about this doll strike us as odd. First, does anyone else notice how extremely bloodshot her eyes are? Secondly, is she doing the robot? If so, we gotta say, we're not mad about it! http://nh.craigslist.org/hsh/3156800448.html
We're all for collecting antiques, but we don't quite understand what the purpose of this one would be. It's not exactly pretty room decor, and we have a feeling it's not in the best working condition. Hm, in this case maybe one man's trash is another man's....trash? http://springfieldil.craigslist.org/atq/3174538809.html
One word for this belt buckle: Classy. We love that it even says "Snap On" on the front and has a picture of two...big rigs? Yep, "best dressed" list here we come. http://sd.craigslist.org/atq/3082675369.html
Seeing the reaction on this face mask kind of gives us, well, the same reaction. It is totally freaky! Forget the blood dripping down the face, why is the inside of the mouth completely black? Ew. http://sandiego.craigslist.org/ssd/for/3127278558.html
Aw, who remembers these? They were fun for like a day and then became obnoxious. But we've never seen this kind, dressed up for Christmas like a reindeer! We like the spin... Hmm, can you say wish list? http://springfieldil.craigslist.org/clt/3174312226.html
Of all the items we've come across, we never thought we'd see an actual staircase for sale. We wish we had something wittier to say about this, but honestly, we just find it weird. Wow. http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/hsh/3171233393.html
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