So the outpouring of commentary regarding my bikini post, and the subsequent news sources that have picked it up, has been amazing. I'm glad that it touched such a nerve, but it also left me doing two really weird things.
1. Defending my legit plus size-ness. Which is cool, I mean, I shop for panties at Lane Bryant and I can only buy accessories and drawer pulls at Anthropologie. My jeans range from size 14-18, and if you want to borrow them, you totally can.
2. Assuring people I am healthy. Which is weird, because when I meet people of like, any size, I almost never assume they are unhealthy unless they are actively mainlining heroin. Also because I'm not their physician or the Cool Ranch Dorito Taco police. People are all, hey it's cool you look this way, you know, as long as you are healthy, and I want to be like, um you too, man? And then I fist bump them, because I am not entirely sure how to respond to that. It was my non-medical degree assumption that people can be unhealthy at any size.
Anyways, this whole entire thing reminded me of a conversation my husband and I had last night, and in a very "Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Her" fashion, I figured I share it with you.
Hey, I'm trying to practice guessing people's weights, can I guess how much you weigh?
Why are you practicing this?
It's just a skill I like to keep fresh, in case I need to ever work at a carnival or something.
Alright, what's your guess?
170. You have to give me a 8lbs margin of error.
Weird, you're right.
I know, it's like a super power. Now you go!
No seriously, I bet you'll never guess!
Nope, if I guess too high or something you'll be pissed, Pass on that.
Andy, I won't be pissed, I swear. On our kids. And on Sims3, which don't tell anyone, but I'm secretly playing.
You're adorable, at the doctor yesterday I weighed 209.
No you didn't.
People carry weight in all different ways. You can't draw a line in the sand and toss assumptions on either side. I do this, all of this, to show you what a real person looks like at this weight. And what a real person looks like in those clothes. To either confirm or destroy everything you thought you knew about your body.
I've never lost friends or boyfriends or husbands over my scale. And it's also not what was holding me back from having an amazingly exciting career, chasing all the things I never imagined I could achieve.
I always wanted someone to do this for me, and it's an honor to be part of the group of women who are now doing it for you. All somewhere between 209 and 214lbs of me.
Related on HuffPost:
After the media focused on her <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-body/news/lady-gaga-shows-off-25-pound-weight-gain-in-tight-outfit-2012229">alleged weight gain</a> in September 2012, Gaga hit back at critics by baring her body in photographs, sharing her struggles with an eating disorder, and inviting her fans to join her in a <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/melaniehaiken/2012/09/26/lady-gaga-puts-bulimia-and-body-image-on-the-table-in-a-big-way/">"body revolution."</a>
Adele says she <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504803_162-57376080-10391709/adele-talks-about-her-body-image-and-weight/">tries not to worry</a> about her body image and doesn't want to be a "skinny minnie." "The first thing to do is be happy with yourself and appreciate your body -- only then should you try to change things about yourself."
The actress <a href="https://twitter.com/RebelWilson/status/253324823005118465">took to Twitter</a> to say, "I'm not trying to be hot. I'm just trying to be a good actress and entertain people."
After the March 2012 frenzy around Judd's "puffy face," the actress fought back in <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html">The Daily Beast</a>, calling the media out for making women's bodies "a source of speculation, ridicule, and invalidation, as if they belong to others."
Tate's <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html">essay</a> about body image and motherhood not only broke the Internet; it has sparked a movement of "moms who stay in the picture."
On her informed, thoughtful blog <a href="http://www.the-beheld.com/">"The Beheld,"</a> Autumn writes about beauty, body image, appearance and her two -- that's right, <em>two </em>-- mirror fasts.
Gruys went on a year-long<a href="http://www.ayearwithoutmirrors.com/"> mirror fast</a> during which she did not study her reflection in mirrors or other reflective surfaces, or look at photographs of herself.
"I am always in support of someone who is willing and comfortable in their own skin enough to embrace it," the singer said in a<a href="http://www.ianslive.in/index.php?param=news/Aguilera_wants_to_empower_women-389922/ENTERTAINMENT/15"> recent interview</a>.
At the 2012 New Yorker Festival, the magazine's TV critic, Emily Nussbaum, asked Lena Dunham, producer, creator and star of the hit HBO show "Girls," why <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/08/lena-dunham-new-yorker-festival-emily-nussbaum_n_1948596.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women">Dunham is naked in so many scenes</a>. Dunham responded, "I realized that what was missing in movies for me was the presence of bodies I understood." She said she plans to live until she is 105 and show her thighs every day.
Chung <a href="http://fashionista.com/2012/10/alexa-chung-on-her-upcoming-line-and-struggling-with-body-image/2/">responded to critics</a> who suggested that her slight frame made her a bad role model for young women, saying: "Just because I exist in this shape doesn't mean that I'm, like, advocating it."
The NYU student started the amazing <a href="http://thebodyloveblog.tumblr.com/">Body Love Blog</a>, where she posted this picture of herself and wrote an <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stella-boonshoft/self-portrait-ask-me-why-_b_1987406.html" target="_hplink">open letter to those who feel entitled to shame others</a> for the size or look of their bodies.
This 5-foot-tall, 200-pound singer spoke openly about her weight to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/01/beth-ditto-talks-skinny-privilege-fiancee-body-image_n_2057290.html?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women">The Advocate</a>, saying, "I feel sorry ... for people who've had skinny privilege and then have it taken away from them. I have had a lifetime to adjust to seeing how people treat women who aren't their idea of beautiful and therefore aren't their idea of useful, and I had to find ways to become useful to myself."
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