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Brock Cohen
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Brock Cohen is a freelance writer, blogger, high school English teacher, avid snowboarder and part-time Socialist who currently resides in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley. Originally from suburban Upstate New York, Brock counts himself among the few Angeleno males without an iPhone app, a Pit Bull, a Prius with a hastily removed Obama bumper sticker, skinny jeans, a fedora, sexy bed hair or an Underarmor lycra half-shirt, and, consequently, resides in a perpetual state of cultural dislocation. Although he mostly despises living in L.A., Brock refuses to ever leave mainly due to the possibility that his new hometown might not offer the MLB Network as part of its basic cable package. Additionally, while he’s never been arrested, Brock is comforted by the fact that, if incarcerated, any one of his more compassionate loved ones would have access to an endless array of 24-hour bail bonds annexes.

Brock labels himself a political liberal but perceives the Democratic Party as the cool, popular friend who “dumps you as soon as someone better comes along – which is 99% of the time.” Still, one of his biggest pet peeves is Democratic politicians, operatives, and advocates who treat the term liberal like T.B. wrapped in Swine Flu encased in a gift box laced with Chlamydia.

To that end, Brock also remains skeptical of individuals claiming to be Independents, as they most often turn out to be Republicans who like Tommy Bahama shirts.

Brock’s biggest turn-ons include: campaign finance reform, moist chunks of chola, socialized medicine, hand sanitizer, the term "all-inclusive," and the gossamer memory of Obama’s first two weeks in office.

His biggest turn offs: Max Baucus, no-bid contracts, rescission, health insurance co-ops, the term “Smart war” being used to justify a dumb war, and the guy at the gym who keeps slamming down his 20-pound dumbbells so as to make them sound heavier.

Brock is currently working on a memoir about his life as an L.A. public high school English teacher. He hopes to complete it before the health care reform bill goes into effect in 2014.

Blog Entries by Brock Cohen

Requiem for a Success Story

(1) Comments | Posted June 26, 2012 | 4:23 PM

Prior to accepting my first teaching assignment at North Hollywood's Grant High School back in 2001, I'd been oblivious to the legions of teenagers who were unable to read L.A. Times blurbs or write complete, coherent sentences. As a rookie English teacher, it would have been challenging enough to turn...

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Improved Literacy Could Save Health Care

(20) Comments | Posted November 4, 2011 | 3:04 PM

Despite incremental gains in health coverage among the ranks of previously uninsured Americans, some of the biggest concerns regarding the much-maligned Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (A.C.A.) have come to fruition. Nearly two years since its signing into law, obesity and diabetes are...

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Teens Rejoice as Perry Vows to Abolish Science and Reason From States' Curricula (Satire)

(14) Comments | Posted September 7, 2011 | 10:00 PM

Speaking to a packed auditorium of L.A. public high school students on Thursday, Texas Gov. Rick Perry stunned educators and enthralled teens by vowing to eliminate all scientific theory, thought, and inquiry from classrooms across the nation, if elected president in 2012.

Perry, an evangelical Christian and vocal skeptic...

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Too Black for Quarterback

(9) Comments | Posted August 30, 2011 | 3:40 PM

Back in the autumn of 2003, when the Rush Limbaugh experiment was hitting its vapid apex at ESPN, the king of the right-wing ad-hominem attack suggested, on air, that black quarterbacks were the beneficiaries of a clandestine, league-wide affirmative action gambit. This empty claim ultimately lead...

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(SATIRE) L.A. Private Schools Endure Third Annual 'LAUSD-For-An-Hour Day'

(7) Comments | Posted May 31, 2011 | 1:36 PM

Hundreds of private schools throughout the Los Angeles region suspended their normal schedule of activities on Tuesday in observance of what has rapidly become one of the most significant -- and controversial -- dates on their respective calendars: LAUSD For An Hour Day.

"I just got chewed out for...

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School Budget Cuts No Excuse For Mediocrity

(25) Comments | Posted March 29, 2011 | 2:20 PM

I stood in front of my packed first-period class yesterday, surveying a sea of sleepy teenage faces. While my electronic roster counted 44 total students, on this day it somehow seemed like more. Most were crammed into rickety desks, but some of the latecomers propped themselves atop a large counter...

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Michelle Rhee: School Reform Savior or Political Opportunist?

(4) Comments | Posted January 4, 2011 | 12:38 PM

Recently, KPCC's Patt Morrison was gracious enough to have me on her radio show her show alongside one of the giants of the current education reform movement, former Washington D.C. schools chancellor Michelle Rhee.

Throughout her segment, Rhee, the sunny-dispositioned former D.C. schools chancellor and current...

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Superman as a Public School English Teacher: Day 1 (Satire)

(32) Comments | Posted December 14, 2010 | 5:09 PM

8 a.m.: Room 321

Inside a raucous L.A. public high school classroom that will soon be brimming with a cultural, racial, and ethnic amalgam of 11th graders. The handful of bright, talented kids sprinkled throughout the class is greatly overshadowed by the majority of their academically troubled peers.

The underachievers...

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Yankees Outbid Yankees for Lee's Services (Satire)

(1) Comments | Posted December 7, 2010 | 9:57 AM

In an unlikely chain of events Tuesday, the New York Yankees finally secured a contract with 32-year-old pitching ace Cliff Lee that exceeded the team's previous offer, made five minutes earlier, by twelve years and $320 million.

At the outset of the MLB Winter Meetings in Orlando, FL on...

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Debunking the Fairy Tale of School Reform

(36) Comments | Posted November 11, 2010 | 5:35 PM

Recently, I attempted to unpack the media-augmented narrative -- and national hot button issue du jour -- of public education reform within the context of a fairy tale. I chose the fairy tale as my medium because I couldn't think of any other storytelling device that was simultaneously...

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The Fairy Tale of School Reform

(4) Comments | Posted November 4, 2010 | 1:01 AM

Struggling to drum up dissipating ad revenue and to stay afloat in the sea of cable news slime, most media organizations have resorted to sloshing around in the infotainment gutter for shock and schlock. No surprise then that the issue of school reform has played out with all the depth...

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A Promise to the Students of an Uncool Teacher

(9) Comments | Posted October 6, 2010 | 12:27 PM

It's the first day of the new school year. We started a week late this year because of furloughs. All this talk lately about lackluster teaching, insufficient test scores, and struggling kids slipping through the cracks of failing schools; yet the district goes and lops off a week's worth of...

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Value-Added Misses the Mark - And the Point

(5) Comments | Posted September 7, 2010 | 3:49 PM

If implemented, the Value-Added system will revolutionize the oft-maligned teacher assessment process by quantifying performance; establishing clear expectations; and streamlining the dissemination of data to teachers, administrators, and parents. At least, that's what we've been told. In the span of time it's taken the L.A. Times to publish...

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Welcome to Bubble Boy Nation

(14) Comments | Posted August 26, 2010 | 4:20 PM

KinderKords. Toddler tracking systems. Mall trick-or-treating. Mouth guard party favors. Playground helmets.

Welcome to Bubble Boy Nation, a place inhabited by overprotective parents; delicate, overindulged children; and two major political parties that routinely capitulate to legions of lobbyists and special interest groups, whose main objectives are to a.)...

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Apple to Roll Out .5G iHood for Underprivileged Southland Youth (Satire)

(0) Comments | Posted July 9, 2010 | 1:40 PM

On Thursday, Apple president and CEO Steve Jobs announced that the Cuppertino, CA computer giant will be issuing modified versions of its wildly popular iPad, the company's latest multimedia sensation, to as many as 5,000 Los Angeles middle and high school students currently languishing in what many educators...

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Taking Our Country Back From the Cult of Curmudgeon

(9) Comments | Posted June 21, 2010 | 2:13 PM

Growing up, we all had a buddy whose dad's personal zeitgeist was hatched and incubated in a Country Time Lemonade commercial.

Theirs was ostensibly an era in which freshly painted, three-bedroom ranch homes, with their lawns and shrubs groomed to meticulous splendor, lined the flanks of unblemished...

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Every State's a Little Bit Arizona Sometimes

(4) Comments | Posted June 7, 2010 | 2:47 PM

Even California.

As the vociferous L.A. backlash against Arizona's growing assemblage of anti-immigration laws reaches its full and self-righteous climax, let's not forget our beloved state's own occasional dalliances with nativism, bigotry, and arch-conservatism.

First off, a good portion of your Golden State trends as politically...

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Three Things Teachers Want More Than a Slab of Coffee Cake

(5) Comments | Posted May 17, 2010 | 1:09 PM

I should've known something was up when I walked into the main office, first thing in the morning, on Day 1 of Teacher Appreciation Week. The usual roiling scrum of teachers, normally reserved for the area surrounding the schools' lone copy machine, had expanded by approximately 20 additional...

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The Key to Education Reform? Better Parents

(19) Comments | Posted April 22, 2010 | 1:56 PM

It's first period, 8:05 A.M., and I'm taking attendance. The late bell rang five minutes ago. Twelve students are present and seated, though my class roster indicates that 38 should be here by now, in their seats and ready to learn. Most will show up eventually, with or without basic...

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Individuals Who Label Obama a Socialist to be Sentenced to Four Months of Mr. Bilweki's World History Class (Satire)

(8) Comments | Posted April 1, 2010 | 2:41 PM

Conservatives railed against the Obama administration this week in response to a key provision buried within the nation's landmark health care reform law that would make nonsensical epithets directed at the President and his policy proposals a federal offense punishable by a rudimentary education in history and civics.

Initially...

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