While my boyfriend and I were quite the hit at a Halloween party last night as Scooter Libby and Brownie (yes, I did have a scooter, yes, he did hand out brownies and no, they did not have pot in them), I was keenly aware the we were just exploring the tip of the Scandals-of-the Bush-Administration-as- Halloween-Costumes iceberg. In order to have been truly clever and deserve the Best Costume prize, we needed to also have with us a Tom Delay, a Bill Frist, a Katrina (did I actually want to go as her-- a bedraggled, wet, muddy, tired dragqueen, wearing the convention center on her head-- but get talked out of it? Only her hairdresser knows for sure...), a Harriet Miers (scary!), a James Dobson (hilarious!) and a Karl Rove (oh Fitznukah, oh Fitznukah, come light the menorah...). And I'm not even listing all the various misbehaving daughters of Bushes (fun costumes, but very last year).
And those are the easy costumes to pull off. Only the most advanced and experienced Hallow's Eve participants will want to try and go as Weapons of Mass Destruction, the Downing Street Memo, Skyrocketing Gas Prices, or-- a hard one to pull of, but a sure prize-winner if you do-- Haliburton (although, for a start, you could try parading up and down your street serving fellow revelers hundreds of meals and then bill the government for thousands).
And the list goes on and on. The sad problem is, when it comes to choosing the right Halloween costume, there is definitely such a thing as too many options-- especially if you're a kid (which is not to say that my 6 year old god-son Jamison begged me to go as the Radical Religious Right, but, if he had, I would have still recommended that he stick with Spiderman for practicality purposes). With this almost incomprehensible plethora of Bush Scandals to choose from, it suddenly hit me while standing in the 2 hour line at the costume store for my Dick Cheney mask-- ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
I mean NO ONE believes in our First Amendment Freedom to Choose your own Halloween Costume Right more than I do, but this year the Bushies have finally crossed the line. And, if I was having a meltdown trying to choose between a criminally inadequate response to a hurricane and an indicted lifelong neocon, just imagine the trauma inflicted on an 8 year old in Topeka, Kansas being told she MUST choose between going as Pat Robertson (and, yes, her older brother was going to be the President of Venezuela) or Osama Bin Laden (that one's easy-- she was going to stay at home and send her said brother out asking "has anyone seen my sister"?)
You get the picture. As you are agonizing over which scandal you are going out as tomorrow night, keep the one ray of light in all of this choice-overload darkness in mind-- when we take back the house next November, Henry Waxman will chair the committee which will expose every last scandal of this corruption-ridden adminstration. And, by Halloween 2007, we can all go back to being witches, ghosts and the occasional Harry Potter. Happy Halloween!