LettermanGate: One Week Later

It is now nearly one week since LettermanGate first burst onto TV screens, front pages and BlackBerrys nationwide, and the media remain in unapologetic full-throttle. Having already wrung every drop of dirty dishwater from this odd tale of sex, checks and affections, reporters continue to survey the outer fringes of the story's seedy landscape, hoping to tap a fresh reservoir of bodice-ripping, scurrilous slime.

Last weekend, the New York Post heavy-panted its way through a largely empty expose that dubbed Dave a "skirt-chasing funnyman" while depicting his private office at the Ed Sullivan Theater as a door-swinging sex-den, complete with fold-out couch.

The Daily Beast unveiled the down-and-dirty on Joe Halderman, the "rogue" CBS News producer-turned-alleged extortionist, whose clumsy attempt to blow the lid off Dave's randy past earned him a phony $2 million check and a very real bill for $200,000 in bail.

And TMZ.com -- ground zero for all that is knock-yer-socks-off-shocking -- posted an interview with a heretofore unknown Letterman intern, complete with the usual unspectacular quotes ("I was madly in love with him") and predictably blurry jpegs.

And yet for all the ink and bytes devoted to this bizarre saga, here's what I find most compelling: that David Letterman successfully navigated his way through three explosive crises -- personal, professional and legal -- by simply telling the truth.

Unlike the similarly cornered Sens. John Edwards and John Ensign, Gov. Elliot Spitzer and (sigh) Bill Clinton, who initially body-blocked media inquires about their affairs with everything from finger-wagging resentment to faux-humility to flat-out denial, Letterman confessed to his past philandering instantly ("I have had sex with women who work for me on this show," he revealed), and he did so proactively, rather than in the crouch of self-defense.

Unlike the bathroom-cruising Sen. Larry ("I am not gay") Craig, who responded to charges of "lewd conduct" at a Minneapolis airport by claiming that cops had simply misread a little innocent stall-footsie, Letterman approached authorities the moment he knew he was being shaken down, and even testified to the facts before a grand jury.

And unlike Gov. Mark Sanford, who justified his 5000-mile field trip to rendezvous with his secret Argentine "soul mate" as something more spiritual than your typical sleazy tryst, Letterman copped to the all-too-ordinary sordidness of his office-fling history, even calling his own actions "creepy."

This is why David Letterman will be forgiven his workplace hanky-panky. Because, in the end, what people (and, should it go this far, juries) admire most is straight talk, and that is precisely what Dave dished out last Thursday evening -- along with a few laughs, of course.

Which brings up an interesting question: Did Letterman effectively duck more serious scrutiny of his trespasses by donning his customary goofball persona and beating the media to the punch by beating himself up first?

Probably -- but the fact is, this is wholly consistent with the Letterman America has been inviting into its bedrooms for more than a quarter-century. Not only has he routinely used his late-night forum as his own personal scrapbook -- talking about his heart surgery, his speeding tickets, the birth of his son--he's also been the first to bust himself for the occasional idiocy -- such as mistakenly targeting the wrong daughter of Sarah Palin in an off-color joke last June. He apologized immediately.

CBS and Worldwide Pants (Letterman's production company) will undoubtedly continue to investigate this matter, if only to determine whether David Letterman crossed the line -- or broke a law--by engaging in sex with subordinates. But unless something else erupts -- and it would have to be something pretty big -- you can file the story of Dave's Deviant Dalliance where it belongs -- as yesterday's news.

This essay originally ran in the October 8th, 2009 edition of USA Today; Bruce Kluger is co-author, with David Tabatsky, of the new book, Dear President Obama: Letters of Hope From Children Across America]

Comments

[iconklee]

I used to think rather highly of David Letterman. I even believed his little (joking) fairy tale 'confession' -- right up to the point where Dave made such a point of saying "IT WAS IN THE PAST."
A BALD FACED LIE, DAVE. NEWS REPORTS NOW ADMIT THAT DAVE WAS (still) HAVING AN AFFAIR w/Birkitt as recently as A FEW MONTHS AGO.

IN FACT, DAVE REGULARLY BROUGHT HIS MISTRESS ALONG WITH REGINA & SON HARRY ON THEIR FAMILY VACATIONS -- TO THE CARIBBEAN, AS WELL AS FORAYS AT HIS HOME IN MONTANA. THUS, RUBBING REGINA'S FACE IN HIS TAWDRY PROLONGED DALLIANCE.

THAT BIRKITT WOULD PARADE HERSELF AROUND DAVE AND REGINA (worse, his son Harry) SPEAKS TO HER DISGUSTING LACK OF CHARACTER.

EVERYTHING IN THIS ARTICLE IS A RE-HASH OF OLD, OLD NEWS. WHAT'S THE POINT OF RE-HASHING THE WELL-KNOWN WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH (unexplored) and UNKNOWN ABOUT THE TRUTH OF DAVE'S FAIRY TALES.

THE FACT DAVE PLAYED TO HIS AUDIENCE AND (wait for it) THE LAUGHTER HIS SELF-PARODY ENGENDERED ... BELIES HIS CLAIMED REMORSE. APPARENTLY, WITH MS. BIRKITT ON GENEROUS PAID LEAVE, SHE'S BEING COMPENSATED FOR HER DECADE OR MORE OF "SERVICE" to WORLD WIDE PANTS. TOO BAD THOSE PANTS DID NOT REMAIN "zipped."

[PatA]

Thank you for a reasonable article.

[Sumocat]

Equally amazing: he didn't tell us anything new. His first known girlfriend after becoming a late night talk show host was his head writer. His long-time girlfriend turned wife also used to work for him. We've known for thirty years that David Letterman had been sleeping with women who worked for him. Welcome to 1979.

[NHBill]

No one is really saying anything new on this subject, Mr. Kluger included.

[RuthHouston]

David Letterman broke at least 2 of the rules of engagement for workplace romances by having sex with female members of his staff. Yet other rules Letterman strictly observed.

To find out which rules Letterman broke, and which rules he followed, see the article entitled David Letterman Broke 2 Cardinal Rules Governing Workplace Romance at http://bit.ly/yhTMo You’ll find the complete list of the Rules of Engagement for Office Affairs and Workplace Romance. Anyone involved in a workplace romance, who wants to keep things on a professional level, should follow the guidelines in this list. These rules are also posted on my Infidelity News and Views blog.

For more comments on David Letterman’s sexual escapades from an infidelity expert’s point of view, see the article entitled Why David Letterman Should Realize That Infidelity is No Joke at http://bit.ly/peK64

[jayburd]

I know it's not your M.O., but why don't you go after the guy who tried to blackmail him instead? There's more justice to be found in that direction.

Letterman is not a public servant, he's a talk show host & a comedian. He's not bound by any unwritten rules of conduct, nor should he be expected to be some sort of role model. Though, I personally admire him for coming forward and telling the truth without a trace of weaselry. Was he forced to? Yes, but that's beside the point. Every single politician listed in this blog could learn a thing or two from Letterman's example of how to man up...

[NEWSWOMAN]

And you are to feel 'good' because he came home to you? What ever happened to feminism. Have pride in yourself. You don't have to put up with behavior like Dave's. Find a real man who can be monogomous (sp). Unless of course he gives you the same "rights". Hmm?

[dhfsfc]

If I were Regina, I would feel like the live-in babysitter.

Hopefully, she's entitled to a lot of money.

[NEWSWOMAN]

Now we must forgive Dave because he 'told the truth'? I no longer find him funny. He was funny in a quirky way, but I am tired of this story. Man cheats on his wife/girlfriend and we must forgive him. What if it was the other way around? Would "we" forgive her? I think not.

[jayburd]

How many times does it have to be repeated that Letterman was SINGLE when these workplace romances occurred?

[dhfsfc]

How do you know????

[countfloyd]

The phrase "If I were Regina" has been used quite a bit in the comments to the ever growing list of stories. You don't know how she feels so stop using her name.

[customgreen]

There are those who will never let it go. A small piece of Lettermans private life has come into the public eye and it is not a very sterling example. Letterman will lose fans and gain fans because of it. In the end it is about full grown men and women making decisions either good or bad. I would assume that the personal life of Letterman is in the toilet.

[ladycubsfan]

I wholeheartedly agree with this article. Dave came clean before the excrement hit the fan - key word is BEFORE. Oh, sure, some will say he only did it because he knew it was coming out eventually, but it still took courage for him to be proactive in this case. How many of us would choose to go that route, honestly? His wife was hurt; his mother...p­ossibly his child (but I hope not). His self-deprecating humor is a staple of his comedy and it always has been. He's never claimed to be a paragon of virtue. He's not telling people how to live their lives - he's simply pointing out the hypocrisy of those who do that very thing. So, now that we know he's not perfect either...s­o what? He never claimed to be! AND, he was the first to admit it. The only crime here is the extortion by Halderman. The rest is none of our business - it is between Dave and Regina.
Regina: You have a stand-up guy there (no pun intended). No, he's not perfect, but what man is? Yes, he loves to flirt (and apparently took it too far with members of his staff, before you two were married). This is a sign of an immensely insecure person and it has nothing to do with you. My husband is very charming and flirtatious, but I am not concerned that other women envy me because, in the end, he comes home with me.

[MickLuven]

Well said.