By Bill Persky and Bruce Kluger.
After a year of contentious infighting, bitter feuds and stalled legislation, President Obama has taken a new tack in his attempt to achieve bipartisanship on Capitol Hill, forcing face-to-face negotiations with his staunchest critics. Since January, Mr. Obama has convened his political foes in a variety of settings, trying to persuade even one Republican to cross over--but to no avail.
Still, if Washington is serious about healing its divisions, perhaps there's an easier solution. Maybe if the president and his enemies met at a well-stocked bookstore in D.C. and simply read titles to one another--in the self-help aisle and from a few neighboring shelves--they could finally find a way to dialogue...
President Obama: "Let's Start Talking."
Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.): "No." "I Don't Want to Talk About It."
Obama: "What Does That Mean?" "Focus on the Positive." "Have a Little Faith." "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought."
McConnell: "Yes I Can."
Obama: "Don't Be So Defensive." "Why Can't We Get Along?"
Rep. John A. Boehner (R-Ohio): "Now, That's a Good Question."
Obama: "Come On, People." "Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play." "What's the Bottom Line?" "What's Making You Angry?"
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.): "I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!"
Obama: "Are You Kidding Me?" "What Did I Do Wrong?"
Sen. Olympia J. Snowe (R-Maine): "He's Just Not That Into You."
Obama: "I Hear You, But..." "We're All in This Together." "How Can I Get Through to You?" "What Can I Do To Help?"
McConnell: "Quit Your Job and Move to Key West."
Obama: "Not a Chance." "Nothing's Impossible." "Everything is Negotiable."
Snowe: "Maybe Yes, Maybe No."
Obama: "Good Grief." "Are You Really Listening?" "What's Eating You?" "What Are Your Goals"?
Boehner: "Telling Lies." "Playing Dirty." "Whining."
Obama: "That's Not What I Meant!" "Help Me Understand." "What's the Big Secret?"
Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.): "I Am Right, You Are Wrong."
Obama: "Who Said So?"
Leiberman: "My Mother Always Used to Say..."
Snowe: "Don't Blame Mother!"
Obama: "How Can I Get Through to You?" "What Do You Want From Me?"
Lieberman: "I Want More of Everything." "I Want it Now."
Obama: "Stop, You're Driving Me Crazy!" "Why Is It Always About You?"
Lieberman: "My Mother Always Used to Say That, Too."
Snowe: "Stop Obsessing!"
Lieberman: "Mind Your Own Business."
Obama: "Calm Down!" "Tell Me the Truth." "What Do You Really Want?"
Snowe: "I Want To Change But I Don't Know How."
Obama: "That's a Great Answer." "Stop Being Manipulated." "Be Yourself." "You're Gonna Make It!"
Snowe: "How Do You Know?"
Obama: "Trust Me."
Boehner: "Uh-Oh."
Obama: "The Choice Is Yours." "Let Yourself Go."
Snowe: "Could It Be This Simple?"
Obama: "Life Is Simple!" "Fear No More." "You Can Be Happy No Matter What."
Snowe: "I Think I Can, I Know I Can!"
McConnell (to Snowe): "Girlfriend Please! Snap Out of It! He's Not Worth It!"
Snowe: "But I Love Him."
Obama: "Yes!"
Boehner: "Uh-Oh."
Obama: "I Love My Job!" "Yes We Can!"
McCain: "I Hate Your Guts."
Bill Persky is a producer-writer-director whose credits include "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "That Girl" and "Kate and Allie." Bruce Kluger is a writer and Bill Persky fan. This piece originally appeared in The Los Angeles Times on March 14, 2010.