Yesterday I wrote that the election of Obama is a victory over the politics of hate. I was wrong. As the dust cleared this morning, it was apparent that Californians had voted to deny basic rights to millions of citizens who just happen to have been born gay.
As a straight man, it is incomprehensible to me why millions of other straight people would be so shamefully hateful to their friends and neighbors.
A good friend of mine, who happens to be black, had called me last week. With the election still in doubt, and a great deal of hateful prejudice being directed in Obama's direction, my friend asked me how so many Americans could be so foolish. Yet, before the conversation was over, he told me that he was having a hard time voting against Proposition 8, the anti-gay marriage initiative that would deny rights to millions of Californians.
His argument was rooted in his religion and in some misguided notion that our Constitution somehow argued for traditional beliefs. My argument to him was simple. First, the question was not what his religious convictions were. The question was did he believe that his religious convictions gave him the right to decide for others how they were to live their lives. What happened to judge not, lest ye be judged?
Second, as an African-American, someone who was once defined by our laws as being worth less than a full human being, how could he believe that our traditions were infallible?
I have no idea how he voted but I have good reason to believe that too many people who have been lifelong victims of intolerance, turned around and demonstrated their own brand of intolerance yesterday.
The election of Obama is a wonderful thing for America. But discrimination is still very much a part of Bush's America and, in all likelihood, will continue unabated in Obama's. The fact that Obama had to prove he was Christian and not a Muslim demonstrates how far we have to go. A black man can be president. Great. Can a Muslim? Can a Jew? Can an Atheist? Certainly a gay person can't be.
For the gay community, it's time to get tough. Rights didn't come to African-Americans easily. Every minority in this country has been forced to fight hard to be treated fairly. Civil disobedience was required. Often, violence ensued. Am I suggesting arming yourselves with Molotov cocktails? Of course not. I am suggesting you stop taking this crap lying down. Fight it in the courts. Fight it in the media. And fight it in the streets. But fight, fight, fight. You will find you have many allies.
As to marriage, if it isn't available to all, maybe it should be shunned by all. Perhaps everyone who believes in equality should refuse to have anything to do with an institution which no longer seems relevant when defined in such a narrow minded way.
The bottom line is that same-sex marriage is not a civil rights issue on par with race-based civil rights. The historical backgrounds of those movements are very, very different. Anti-miscegenation laws were part of a larger pattern of legal and social repression that itself was rooted in a violent past of subjugation and slavery. The grievances of the gay community may be real, but they do not equal those of the African-American community, and attempts to equate the 2 movements are misguided at best, and offensive (to many African-Americans) at worst. Same-sex marriage simply is not equivalent to interracial marriage legally, socially, or culturally.
If you truly believe marriage is fundamental to human societies, then you should want marriage to be more prevalent than it is, you should want ALL couples willing to make the effort and take the risk to become a part of this societal foundation by contracting a legal marriage.
"My generation was bitterly divided over something that should have been so clear and right. The majority believed that what the judge said, that it was God’s plan to keep people apart, and that government should discriminate against people in love. But I have lived long enough now to see big changes. The older generation’s fears and prejudices have given way, and today’s young people realize that if someone loves someone they have a right to marry.
Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person†for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights."
Bigotry is bigotry. If we can't comprehend that simple fact, we're doomed.
I've heard your argument before and it is a hollow one. It matters not what we perceive to be the level of the offense. What matters is that there is any level of offense. You may not think discriminating against a gay couple who wish to get married is equivalent to the struggle of African Americans in this country, but, frankly I see no difference. Denying rights to any minority group is what it is. Discrimination is discrimination.
The part that really hurts is that it happened and the rest of the country didn’t even blink. All night, the talking-heads glowed about the great leap forward for racial equality, but not one them stopped and said “wait a minute, what about this other thing that’s going on? What does that mean for America?†Not one of them commented on the incongruity of the first African-American being elected President on the same night that the voters of four states passed laws that expressly roll back the civil rights of American citizens.
As hate became law, my fellow citizens celebrated change. If Barack Obama is going to lead this nation into a new era of social justice and equality, then he must speak out now against all forms of bigotry including the deep-seated prejudice against gays and lesbians; Obama must see it, must call it out, and must condemn it.