John McCain Through The Looking Glass

With apologies to Lewis Carroll

The aging senator paced the parlor of his mansion. He had seven such mansions and couldn't be sure just which one this parlor was in. "Bother," he thought, "I have much more important things to contemplate." This was true, as he wished to be president of his country, and knowing that he stood against almost everything the people of his land needed, he wondered how he might yet win. The large looking glass over the fireplace at the far end of the room caught his eye.

He scurried across the room, climbed upon the chair his servant had brought and peered closely into the looking glass. "Joe," he proclaimed to his cat, who was curled up by the fireplace, not the least bit interested. "Joe! Look! An entire world where everything is backwards." Incredibly, the glass began to melt away and the senator slipped through. He now found himself in this magical world where right is wrong, up is down, old is new and plain old lying is thought of as truth. Of course, this was just in his head. As I said, he was old; really old.

To the Looking Glass world the old senator said,
"We are the agents of change of whom you have read.
Forget that I promise just more of the same,
If it's change that you seek vote for Palin-McCain."

Welfare for the wealthy is on the top of my list.
Bailouts for bad businesses are hard to resist.
And let's buy up mortgages so homeowners aren't pissed.
Don't vote for the other guy, he's a damned socialist!

I have found us a Queen, wait here while I fetch her.
She lives just like you. No Elitist! You betcha!
A more regular gal exists not in this land.
Look how reg'lar she dresses, for one-fifty grand.

Twenty-One thousand for travel for her kids and first dude.
Seventeen thousand per diem when at home, that's true.
The state pays it all but don't worry, there's nary a buzz.
Be concerned she still doesn't know what the Vice-President does.

Did I talk about the war: Iraq and the 'Nam?
I love a good (or bad) war. It defines who I am.
I'm wrong on the issues, so I'll talk jabberwocky.
You know the Red Queen is a big fan of hockey.

Obama's a terrorist, a Muslim, Oh brother!
Give me a day and I'll come up with another.
If you're surprised at the tone of the lies I've unfurled,
You must learn that's how 'tis in my looking glass world.

Other recent posts
Either McCain Is Lying Or He Doesn't Know What Socialism Is
Abe The Accountant
McCain Is Not Bush? - The Failed Economics Of Reagan, Bush and McCain
Defining Real People
He Gives Good Speech - That's Not Enough?

Comments

[9hazels]

Entertaining AND accurate!

[Janet A]

Excellent post! Very inventive interplay using a visionary classic tale... you capture it well!

[TracyBB]

Excellent!

[anachoret]

This is another fantastic post Mr. Tanenbaum.
With the new description of elitists, I think it's a riot that it is now a general description of someone who just thinks they're better than other people, but still seems focused on the "culture war."
For the whole election we listen to how "small town values" are what makes America great, that small towns are the "pro-America" parts of the country, how there are "real" men, "real" America, "real"Christians. They're not like "metrosexuals" or those people who hate god, or worship the "culture of poverty" or embrace a "culture of death," and on and on about hard-working "real America."

And, oh how they hate those people who just think they're better than everyone else.

Sinclair Lewis had it so right in "Mainstreet," when he said they viewed "themselves as the greatest race in the world."
But just like in the mirror, they hate people who think they are better than everyone else... Like us from "fake" America.

[robinmiami]

I'm going to volunteer for the Obama campaign right now! (Seriously, I am!) Saw him the other day in Miami and he wants us to behave as though he's 20 points behind in the polls. . . We can't take ANY chances, espeically in swing states! Get the word out and do all you can to make Obama our next President!