Bush's Farewell Address

I've received another glimpse into the possible future, this time it's Bush's farewell address:

My fellow Americans, tonight I come to you with a heavy heart. For these last eight years I've served faithfully and honorably as your President. But, tonight, this will be the last time I address you. Together, we've made the world a safer place for our children and our children's children, but it has not been enough. I've chosen this time to speak to you about a very grave threat, and that grave threat is the terrorist state of Iran. As part of the Axis of Evil, Iran is responsible for arming Al-Qaida in Iraq and across the globe and has been a consistent state sponsor of terror. Last night, we learned, without doubt, that Iran has nuclear missile capabilities and other weapons of mass destruction. Therefore, as the decider, I have decided that this is not a threat America can stand.

Tomorrow, my replacement from the Democrat party will be sworn into office, and they will have to face the very real threat of war with the Islamic Terror state of Iran.

For the past two years the Democrat party has worked hard to undermine the war effort and they have consistently proven that they are incapable of comprehending the threat to American life and soil by constantly offering proposals for cutting and running. Because of this, I've been forced to act decisively to deal with this matter in a swift and decisive manner as my last official act as president.

For the sake of our country, of our way of life, I've ordered air raids deep inside the Iran. We're targeting hundreds of targets in the capital, Tehran, and various infrastructure targets we believe to be connected to their nuclear capability. They're already on their way in and they can't be brought back. My suggestion to my replacement is to get in there and finish the job. Otherwise, we'll be totally destroyed by the nuclear retaliation of Iran and other terrorist regimes and rogue threats. I've given you the best kind of start, 14,000 missiles worth.

So, let's get going, there's no other choice.

God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health through the purity and essence of our own natural fluids.

God bless America.

(Bryan Young blogs daily at This Divided State.)

Follow Bryan Young on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BigShinyRobot

Comments

[FlowerGirl]

Frankly I don't much care what the small minnded creep says in a FAREWELL address. I'll just be happy with his leaving. I confess to a preference in how he goes; if I can dream, I see him going to a nice prison, somewhat like Guasntanamo if I could choose it.
But I am so afraid that this cretin will start bombing Iran -- his Zionist bosses want that so much. But this is "America" and we are not supported to notice things of that nature.

[mommadona]

"Learnin' to Love da Bomb"

http://www.hkhinc.com/newmexico/albuquerque/doomsday/pickens.jpg

http://www.hkhinc.com/newmexico/albuquerque/doomsday/

[wdflwr]

Maybe if we took up a collection, we could bribe him into leaving office early? After all, the only thing that has ever motivated that arrogant snot is the almighty buck.

[mgloraine]

Your scenario, like Bush & Cheney's, overlooks the fact that, while Iran may be a serious threat to Israel, the true threat of nuclear retaliation against the US is posed by Russia and China, both of which remain nuclear superpowers.

So while BushCo remains fixated on the potential profits from their next crime spree, they fail to see that their planned attack on Iran will instigate a World War which will be the end of the USA. Or perhaps they DO see that, and destruction of the USA is BushCo's true motive.

[darker]

You got it.

Bush-Cheney need their "terror excuse" to keep USTreasury Taxpayer money shoveling into pockets of war-profiteers, for Big Oil's takeover of Middle East oil fields for future profits, to corrupt no-bid /unaccountable contractors --and all other republican contributors raking it in over the dead bodies of USTroops and Iraqis.

Iran is the next FOR-PROFIT INVASION.

[Boomerwoman]

Are you kidding? All Bush wants to do is clear brush and refill his coffers. He doesn't really want to be Prez any more. Not enough time for riding his bike.

Now, Cheney...I suspect if he could run the country from a bunker he'd do it,so he and his friends could continue to rape and pillage the constitution and treasury. God Bless America!

[CarmanK]

Pathetic, but true!!

[Donk]

In all likelihood he'll pardon himself and all the other felons in his adminstration. Then he'll blame all his shortcomings and errors on the godless unpatriotic democrats. Hard to believe, but he makes Nixon look respectable.

[wldnswmmr]

Maybe he's psychotic, but I'd hate to pass judgment on a thing like that before all the facts are in. I admit the human factor has failed us here, but it's not fair to condemn a whole program because of one little slip-up. The whole idea behind Wing Attack, Plan Bush, was to give our anti-terror threat credibility.

[BryanYoung]

That made me laugh hysterically.

[wldnswmmr]

Just building on your very funny theme. Bush DOES seem to have a lot in common with General Ripper, most of all an absolute certainty that only he has the resolve to do what has to be done, not all those "politicians" who want to run his war for him. And could it be, during one bout of "the act of physical love," Bush himself....too bad Captain Mandrake's not around to confirm or deny.

[suki21693]

I don't think he will be able to wait that long. The Bush administration is like a bunch of children on Christmas morning; they can barely contain their excitement in anticipation of killing just a few thousand more people with their new toy bombs.

[alkamm]

These guys think only they are tough enough to fight terrorism. I wouldn't put it past them to attack at the last moment, but they'll probably be busy with all the pardons necessary for their brand of democracy gone wild.
They will toss something at the Iranians, and they will make enemies of our friends there. They will also finish off their party because people will not stand for such obvious political use of the military.
To quote McCain without singing, to "bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran" would be a political bonanaz among those hard core Republicans that keep Bush's approval rating from dropping off the charts. It would doom his party to irrelevance and back to the Goldwater position of prefering to be right than president. Or congress.

[sassafra]

nice story.
i think he'd declare martial law first though.
do you really think he's going to give up power willingly?

[iwishicouldvote]

You mean Cheney?