Along with the new year comes a list of new laws that have taken effect. One law establishes a fine for driving your car into a restricted wilderness area. Apparently the government is afraid your tire tracks may confuse the oil riggers. Here are a few laws I have proposed that have not taken effect as it seems I still don't have my lobbying techniques perfected.
Second-timer law
A new 2006 law requires first-time voters to prove their citizenship. This should be amended to include that second-time voters prove they have at least a remote idea of what the hell is going on in the world before they make important decisions.
Three-way tapping law
Now when the government is listening in on your phone call, you can listen in on theirs as well. This will not only give us a chance to know why we are being tapped but may also give us an inside scoop on some really tasty Texas barbecue recipes.
Iraquiri Daiquiri law
Airlines are now extending passenger gambling opportunities to go beyond deciding whether or night to eat the in flight chicken Parmesan. Why not include gambling on military planes? Heads we land in Iraq and become killers, tails we land in Ko Samui and drink killer daiquiris. Odds are 50/50...Savings $100 billion.
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