03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Obama speech moved back 30 minutes for Leno

As absurd as that may seem, it is a more likely scenario than Conan's Tonight Show being moved back for the Jay Leno Show. First of all, when you take into account that Jay's monologue lasts approximately 15 minutes, that would mean that Conan's monologue would follow a mere 15 minutes later. This formula is completely absurd when you consider that quite often, all late night talk show hosts often joke about the same topics. When you erase the commercials, instead of Jay's "Ten questions at Ten O'clock," he will now be relegated to Ten questions in ten minutes which is all the rest of the show could possibly be.

This makes you realize that NBC's offer to push Conan back is simply a ploy to get rid of him all together. They want him to quit, which is why he should stay and agree to their terms. Call their bluff, Conan; the schedule they have concocted is less balanced than an AIG budget. Jay is a hard working individual. I once tried to convince him to take some time off and see Yosemite. His reply was "I'd rather watch a video of a tree". There is no way he will see the honor in a scaled-down show that serves as an opening act for a institution that he also knows should not be tampered with.

Agree to stay, Conan, and you will remain the host of a franchise that has shown to have the malleability necessary to adhere to the style of any seasoned late-night maven like yourself. And the suits at NBC know that this schedule they are currently offering will be DOA.