The ballots of ballads

The votes are in, and the results of what appears to be the most important election of our nation's history will be announced tonight as "American Idol" ends its sixth season.

It's no exaggeration to claim that more people were concerned with the ouster of dominant diva Melinda Doolittle than they were about the professional demise of World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz last week. While conducting an impromptu survey at the coffee shop, I found that no one even knew who Wolfowitz was -- I got everything from CNN reporter to local rabbi. Everyone was familiar with Melinda.

Is it that a great percentage of our culture is more interested in the fate of a tuneful teen than the future of a pre-eminent global financial institution that funds poverty elimination, AIDS eradication and essential biodiversity projects, or is it that the televised talent competitions are the only place left where people understand the underpinnings of the electoral process enough to believe that their popular votes still count?

I try to stay informed regarding world matters but I, too, am baffled by the absurdity of the geopolitical system. When news stories postulate that Wolfowitz's bank position may be filled by the departing premier of the United Kingdom, Tony Blair, who has been linked to a recent financial scandal involving the selling of Parliamentary house seats as if they were luxury massage chairs, I can't help but contrast it to "American Idol," where contestants are held to much higher moral standards. In this comparison alone, the singers are worthy of their "Idol" designation.

Maybe it's time to choose our leaders based on talent instead of tenacity. If nothing else, American Idol candidates have shown that they can be supportive to their competitors all the way down to the final bout. The entertainment quotient appears to be high among elected officials, and judging by the state of the world, the EQ is definitely more prevalent than the IQ. I thought that President Bush was brilliant when he grooved along with a group of African dancers on malaria awareness day, and believe me, it's a clear day in Los Angeles when I use those two B words together.

Why not also replace ethics hearings with voice recitals? Who isn't worn out by the ongoing coverage of Attorney General Gonzales' submission of omissions? Think of how much more entertaining it would have been if, instead, we were offered "Alberto's Concerto," where the home audience decides whether or not his version of Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgettin' " is pithy enough to absolve him.

For that matter, what about an "Idol" summer replacement called "Crony Crooners," where the long list of an administration's defendants compete to see who will make it to the final pardon? To borrow a quote from the film Gladiator, "The beating heart of Rome is not the marble floor of the Senate, it is the sand of the Colosseum."

No matter how hard we try to remain alert regarding governmental affairs, we have an equal, if not hungrier, urge to be entertained. "American Idol" has succeeded in reviving a tradition where popular pageantry outweighs political punditry by appealing to our senses instead of straining them. And considering where our country is today, based on the decisions of various appointed judges, I would sooner put our fate in the hands of judge Simon Cowell, who may boil it down to: "You chose a nice tie Alberto but, quite frankly, if you gave this same performance two thousand years ago they would have stoned you."