Last Minute Shopping

Even in a depressed economy, I believe that it is customary to give presents during the holiday season. So I spent last week hastily compiling a list in order to engage in another normative tradition--last minute shopping.

For Vice President Dick Cheney, I'm giving a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. And to President Bush, an audio copy of Moby Dick, in case he's at loss as to why he is leaving office with such a low approval rating.

For Governor Sarah Palin, a DVD of the musical, Annie Get your Gun. Aerial wolf hunting; need I say more?

For President-elect Obama, Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. It may be the best of times for Obama, but it is mostly likely the worst of times for many Americans.

To Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich: a Monopoly board game that depicts the city of Chicago. This edition comes complete with a generous supply of "get out of jail free" cards along with altered rules that call for a "vig" to be paid to the governor each time you pass "Go".

I got a great deal searching the discount bin and came up with copies of The Last Action Hero, Batman and Robin, and Twins, movies that starred California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. I know it has been excruciatingly painful for the governor to work with the Legislature, but having to sit through his old movies should be a healthy reminder to the governor that things could be worse.

For Caroline Kennedy: A map of New York that extends beyond Manhattan, along with analysis of the campaigns ran by her uncle, Robert Kennedy and Hillary Clinton, both ran as outsiders and held the senate seat that she now seeks.

I'm getting the California Republican Party a subscription to Yes magazine.

Granted this is a left of center journal that supports active engagement in creating a just, sustainable, and compassionate world. But state Republicans have grown so accustom to saying "no" to every idea to close the deficit, transforming 34% into a solid majority through California's unique initiative process. Since they can only support cutting more taxes, by receiving something quarterly that says "yes" might change their mind. Well, it can't hurt.

To the Republican National Committee When Pride Still Mattered: A Life of Vince Lombardi by David Maraniss.

In addition to being a well-researched book on a great coach, not only in football, but in all team sports, the title alone is worth a G.O.P. read. Given the current state of the economy, the scandals, and the being the majority in Congress at a time when allegiance to the Republican Party trumped adherence to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, the G.O.P could use something positive to read while exiled to the minority.

To the Democratic National Committee: any book on Greek mythology that tells of Hubris. If unsure as to why, they need only be reminded of the fate of the national Republican Party.

To Oakland Mayor, Ron Dellums: Leadership for Dummies. Before running off half-cocked assuming that I'm questioning the mayor's gravitas--far from it. The book introduces many different aspects on leadership, in an interesting format, similar to all of the other "Dummies" series. Unfortunately, leadership is more qualitative than it is quantitative. Perhaps this gift is moot.

The CEO's of the Big Three auto manufactures could use flyer miles on Jet Blue and Southwest Air so that on their next trip to Washington to supplicate Congress for additional bailout money in March they could save some money.

By taking either Jet Blue of Southwest Air instead of their private jets they will look more the part of common individuals rather than corporate executives that ignored all of the warning signs by building cars ill-equipped (see Escalade hybrid) to the demands of a shrinking finite resource.

The problem with last minute shopping is you tend to omit someone from the list. That said, please accept my apologies if you did not receive something from me this year.

To everyone else, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

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