I'm Thankful That I Am Not in Iraq or Afghanistan Right Now.

It took me three shots at spelling "Afghanistan" correctly--a gaffe that, had Sarah Palin or Bushy made, I would have pounced upon, wrangled in clutched hands, and offered to you all--like a loyal house cat does with a mauled rodent. (Incidentally, I spelled rodent wrong the first time, too.) But it's old news that neither I, nor Sarah, nor President Bush are fit to be President of the United States, so let's allow ourselves to let ourselves off our collective hooks. And while we're at it, why not let those folks off their collective hooks in Guantanamo Bay, too, right?

No, my friends (can we still channel John McCain with that phrase, though), my friends, there are so many kids, so much younger than I, who are in a strange, absurd place right now, on Thanksgiving. They are in a place I can't even fathom. The distance, the heat, the dust; it all, for me, is incomprehensible, and I'm not at all proud of that.

I flew over Abu Dhabi once. I was traveling with the Whiffenpoofs of Yale University--I think we were landing in Turkey or Saudi Arabia or some place with a lot of old white people who like to drink Tom Collins. I looked out the airplane window and saw a barren, lunar-esque terrain--a real, Middle East desert--and I felt totally alone for a moment, even though I was surrounded by good friends and the audio-less visual of You, Me, and Dupree on the aircraft movie screen.

I don't think about our troops enough, and I don't do so for the worst reason. I don't because I lump them into a conservative agenda that is not my own. And that is horribly ignorant and at its best, inconsiderate. At its worst, by not considering the over one million of them on a daily basis, I am passing that emotional burden on to someone else to whom it matters more. This, by the way, is the same logic we gay rights activists use to disparage those who sit quietly and allow inequality to prevail--because it doesn't affect them, directly.

So I'd like you (by the way, you, thanks for reading this, and Happy Thanksgiving) I would call on you to take a moment and think about how fucking shitty it must be to be away from mom's special mashed potatoes and, for many, their own kids. You may have thought about this a whole lot more than I have, and good for you.

But once in a while you have to slap yourself in your face and take a good look at the reality of the situation. I'm here and they are there and it all is a really unfortunate situation. Let's stop just saying "support the troops" during beer commercials and actually think of creative, effective ways to help the people who are living in a far away, desolate isolation. They will need our help far more when then return. It is now, more than ever, when we liberals need to stand up and thank them for doing a job that I can quite honestly say I was scared too shitless to do.