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C. Robert Gibson Headshot

What Stoners and Mitt Romney Have in Common

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Every smart weed smoker knows that while you're applying for jobs, it's best to stay clean. While all smokers have unique remedies they swear to when it comes to getting THC out of your system in a hurry, we all know it's best to just lay off until after passing that drug test when you're looking for work. Mitt Romney should've kept his financial records clean in preparation for applying for the nation's toughest job.

Mitt Romney has been eying the presidency for the better part of a decade. Knowing that his dad set a precedent with presidential candidates releasing multiple years of tax returns, one would think Romney would use the years in between presidential runs to be honest with his accounting and file clean tax returns if he really wants the nation's highest office. There's no test tougher than the arduous ones presidential candidates take, and a smart candidate would make sure he "pisses clean" when it comes to his own finances.

Harry Reid may have made an irresponsible comment when refusing to cite the name of the source who swore that Mitt Romney paid no taxes for ten years, but he was smart to keep the spotlight focused on the candidate who refuses to tell voters how much taxes he really paid. Even John McCain has defended Romney, saying that there's nothing bad in the 23 years of tax returns he saw when he was vetting the former Massachusetts governor as a potential running mate. But even still, Mitt Romney has refused to come clean and settle the discussion by revealing his tax returns. There's nothing worse than not paying taxes for ten years, except for whatever Mitt Romney is hiding, apparently.

The information Mitt Romney is refusing to disclose may have something to do with the right-wing death squad money that he used to finance Bain Capital when he first started the company. Or it could be an even bigger tax break for another overly luxurious item, like the $77,000 loss he claimed on his wife's dressage horse in 2010. It could be a year or two of negative federal corporate tax rates for Bain Capital, similar to General Electric and Wells Fargo. Maybe some of those tax returns reveal millions of dollars stashed in overseas tax-free accounts in countries like Bermuda and the Cayman Islands. None of us will know, until Romney just releases his tax returns and takes the hits. He's going to have to, eventually.

If Mitt Romney wants to present himself as a sound businessman who knows how to handle the nation's budget, costs and expenses, how can we take him seriously if he won't even disclose more than two years of tax returns? It's something voters have a right to know, if they're going to trust the world's biggest economy in the hands of this guy. It'd be the same as a potential employee who refuses, under any circumstance, to take a drug test for employment, but assures his would-be bosses that he's never smoked a joint in his life. If you're so clean, and if you really want the job, just pee in a cup and be done with it.