Our Emotional Ties to Our Strands of Hair

06/10/2015 03:41 pm ET | Updated Jun 10, 2016

Your hair is one of the first things people see when they look at you and one of the first things you notice when you look at yourself in the mirror. Like it or not our choice in hair style and color plays a significant role in how people perceive us and in many cases how we feel about ourselves.

The emotions that we tie to our hair strands are quite interesting. Some emotions are quite strong and sometimes are triggered immediately when our hair is not how we expected it to be or how others expected it to be. For example, have you ever had what you perceived to be a bad hair day and your mood is 'off' as a result?

I have seen emotional ties to our hair go backwards to beauty in that I have met people who do not want to wear or just are not ready to wear their optimal hair style or color(s). They turn down choices that will make their eyes sparkle and their overall appearance more balanced, stylish, vibrant, refined and even younger in favor of looking dull, unprofessional, outdated, odd and even older.

What emotions are stirred up inside of you when you change your hair style or color and/or when you think about changing your hair style or color? Are some of them negative and perhaps undesirable to face and therefore you continue to make appearance choices that do not give off your best? I hope below triggers some thoughts that may help answer this question for you...

Sometimes it's scary to...

  • Face uncertainty
  • Stop hiding behind our hair
  • Face change by letting go of something that we have held on to for decades
  • Be authentic
  • Ignore untrained opinions from our loved ones - friends, family and other peers
  • Let go of fear
  • Be love
  • Be confident
  • Trust ourselves and our own internal guidance system (our gut)
  • Not seek out external validation
  • Face that we are getting older and face seeing our age through our grey hair (Related article: You've Got Grey Hair, Therefore You Need to Be a Blonde???)

In the past I have had a hair color client whose color analysis results indicated her current blonde hair color was not aligned with her optimal hair color palette (she had been wearing her blonde hair color for approximately 20 years). When I transitioned her hair color to be in her optimal hair color palette, she looked so vibrant and amazing. However, she was in shock, full of doubt and perhaps just not ready to feel some emotions that came with her hair color change. The emotional roller coaster surrounding her new hair color lasted for days and was so unpleasant for her to face, she ultimately decided to ignore multiple expert opinions and return to the lighter hair color that did not give off her best.

Another hair color client was transitioned to be in her optimal hair color palette and before her hair was even fully dry, started crying out of joy. She had been going through a bit of a life transition at the time and her new hair color was the ultimate release to getting her authentic core self and confidence back.

Above are just a couple of examples of emotional journeys surrounding hair transformations that I have witnessed.

Common reactions of someone finding out and seeing that their current hair color is not giving off their best during a color analysis consultation include -

  • "But...I've been dying my hair this color for as long as I can remember"
  • "Maybe in the Fall I will consider changing my hair color"
  • "Oh but my greys will show" (mostly said by blondes, see above related article link)
  • "I'm going to have to think about it"

What is there to think about? Why do you want to delay giving off your best? If you are one of these people reacting this way, you may want to click here to link to before & after photos of a couple of individuals transitioning to their optimal hair colors for reference as you think through your responses to these questions.

One of my biggest personal life lessons that I have learned through experience is that we attract what we believe about ourselves. If we are aware and tuned into what we are attracting (even what we perceive as minor experiences), we have the power to release any negative beliefs or emotions that are out of alignment with our highest good.

My wish is that every time you enter the hair salon, you are ready to embrace any and all emotions that are stirred up by wearing what experts indicate is your most optimal hair style and color so that you give off your best and most authentic energy.

I hope this blog post inspires you to wear your authenticity!

Carol Brailey is an Image Consultant based in Toronto, Canada. More of her color and style blogs can be found at and Carol is a member of the Studio Fontana team located in the Fashion District of downtown Toronto.