I just read an article about how the Democrats are definitely going to take a beating in the midterm elections because the economy is so bad.
I just read an article about how the Republicans won't actually win in the midterm elections because they're too divided between moderate conservatives and the Tea Party movement.
I just read an article about how Independent voters will decide this election.
I just read an article about Independents don't really have a stake in this election.
I just read an article about how President Obama has failed to deliver on his promise of change.
I just read an article about how President Obama's failure has been in trying to accomplish too much in his first two years.
I just read an article about how the bailouts have sunk us deeper into economic crisis.
I just read an article about how our economy would have completely collapsed if it weren't for the bailouts.
I just read an article about how The Human Centipede is a revolutionary horror film.
I just read an article that likened watching The Human Centipede to watching all the Saw movies, a live execution and Beaches at the same time.
I just read the Bible.
I just read the T.G.I. Fridays brunch menu.
I just read a fortune cookie.
I just read my last will and testament, which I update once a year with the name of whoever my current favorite New Kid is... sometimes it's Danny!
Also, I just read a 1,376 advertisements that were positioned right alongside all those articles about how any possible permutation of the future can -- and will -- happen. Now, I'm seriously thinking about buying a new car, life insurance, gold, clean coal and taking a cruise to somewhere exotic yet familiar.
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