These Ikea Instructions Are Too Damn Complicated Party

If this week's New York gubernatorial debate was your first introduction to Jimmy McMillan and his Rent is Too Damn High Party, then I hate to tell you, but you're, sort of, you know, late to the party.
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If this week's New York gubernatorial debate was your first introduction to Jimmy McMillan and his Rent is Too Damn High Party, then I hate to tell you, but you're, sort of, you know, late to the party.

Prior to his governor's bid, McMillan ran for Mayor of New York twice, in 2005 and 2009. I've been a fan of his ever since I read his statement of issues as a mayoral candidate, which included the phrase, "Rent is too damn high!!!" no less than 12 times in two paragraphs. That's what Washington insiders call, "staying on message." (Not sure what a Washington insider is? That's easy. It's someone who works in Washington D.C. who has their head so far up their own ass, they can smell the future.)

If you think that the Rent is Too Damn High Party is a little too niche to be accepted on a state-wide, much less national, stage, you're wrong. The U.S. has a glorious history of political parties that have sought to promote or fight against a very specific issue, or a slightly different version of an issue that some other party has already taken up. Why do we need multiple, barely distinguishable Socialist parties? You might as well ask why we need Baptists AND Methodists. (The answer to both is, we don't...but we're Americans, and even the most Socialist and Christian of us like having our own stuff, be it gods, parties or monster trucks.)

Here are a few other parties that have, in the past, run highly successful losing campaigns for offices at the city, county, even parish level. See one you like? Then try to resurrect it in your town today. Go team politics!

Co-op Boards Are Assholes Party

Babies Are Too Damn Plentiful Party

Get Your Shit Off My Lawn Party

There Are Too Many Snakes on This Motherfucking Plane Party

Not Everyone Can Wear a Fedora Party

Calling Yourself a Geek When You're Not Prohibition Party

The Justin Bieber Virginity Watch Party of America

Every Day Is Like Sunday Party

If You Want to Show Your Movie in 3-D, Shoot It In 3-D Party

Don't Be Tardy for the Party

Betty White to Host the Source Awards Party

The Bring Back "The Party" Party

Sanctity of Non-Gay Life Party

It's Not a Human Centipede If It's Only Got Twelve Legs Party

Gordan Ramsay's Electoral Disasters Party

Every Mother is a Working Mother (Pfft...Not Really) Party

The People's Front of Judea

I'm Dating a Black Guy, Deal With It, Mom Party

Stop Talking About Your One Lesbian Experience Party of America

National Andrew WK Party Party Party Party

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