Are scantily clad men and women, nudity or even pornography shocking anymore? Our liberal culture means that you almost can't view an advertisement, movie or music video without seeing nearly everything, or in some cases everything, being put out there. While sex sells and I love that people are comfortable with their sexuality, are we ruining it by making it too accessible?
Take the new music video for up-and-coming rapper Rae Chill, "Elevator"-- which is quite a catchy tune, by the way. Rae, a Megan Fox doppelganger, is an anomaly in the hip-hop community: A white female that raps like Little Kim or Nicki Minaj. She's positioned to play a part in the resurgence of the female rapper and with her talents, that should provide enough shock for anyone to glom onto.
However, the video is fraught with traditional stereotypes, with everything from a bevy of scantily-clad extras writhing up and down on the elevator to Ms. Chill herself appearing to be all-but-naked. The only thing that Rae is wearing is her very long locks strategically covering her chest -- oh, and a belly button ring. Is this shocking or is this just what is expected, both of a rap video and of an attractive woman?
This isn't just an online or media phenomenon. Look at the explosive recent success in the scantily-clad women casual dining genre. Taking a cue from Hooters, newer chains like the always-classy Twin Peaks and the Tilted Kilt are posting 30% or more sales growth in the last year despite the recession. This is being referred to as the "breastaurant boom" and that moniker speaks for itself. On a recent Fox News interview with Neil Cavuto, a Twin Peaks representative made the argument that the chain was very family friendly... which it is, if you want your family to perpetuate the feeling that the top value that women offer is what they look like and that they are primarily sex objects. But alas, people are taking their children to these establishments.
Our desensitization to sex makes it more difficult than ever to shock and we are running out of ways to up the ante. It used to be that pornography was naughty and secretive, left to magazines carried in paper bags and trips to the backs of seedy stores. Now it's available on cable television and it is unlikely that your child won't accidentally come across it while surfing the Internet. Part of the excitement built into sexuality is the element of the chase or it being hard to get. It makes it much more difficult for something to be titillating, "bad" and exciting when it's as commonplace as Diet Coke. There's a reason that the concept of moderation exists, even for things we love.
According to an article on CNN.com:
The consequences [of porn use] could be dramatic: The excessive use of video games and online porn in pursuit of the next thing is creating a generation of risk-averse guys who are unable (and unwilling) to navigate the complexities and risks inherent to real-life relationships, school and employment.
Are we already seeing real-life repercussions? One could surmise that the popularity of the erotic literary series 50 Shades of Grey and male stripper movies like Magic Mike are reflecting that women aren't being taken care of sexually in the real world.
Perhaps the pendulum can swing back the other way. We did have the oversized lumberjack clothing of the 1990s as a rebellion to the tight and loud looks of the 1980s, so maybe it's not too late. But it's going to take more than a costume change to preserve the excitement of sexuality and improve the standing of women in the U.S. and throughout the world. I hope that the talented Rae Chill, and others like her, will take the lead by being shocking in sticking to their talents, instead of commonplace hyper-sexualized messages.
Follow Carol Roth on Twitter: www.twitter.com/caroljsroth
It's not enough to say women can look how ever they want to look, and men should look at them as sexless until invited to do otherwise. Women and men are designed to look at each other as sex objects. Boobs and brains - they are both an essential part of the sexy mix. We are ALWAYS on display, like it or not. How we are seen is simply a matter of how we present ourselves.
I have no patience with women who complain that other women look 'too sexy'. Or men how go to restaurants simply because the waitresses have prominent (but covered) breasts. But take me to a romantic restaurant where the waiters and waitresses are dressed in no more than sexy accessories, and your thoughtfulness will earn my approval.
Women reading 50 shades of gray and watching a movie about male strippers means men are bad in bed.
But here's the thing. People DO judge, especially in professional environments. And to me, resisting the overt sexual thing IS attempting to put women where they belong, being evaluated for their brains and their contributions instead of their boobs. (I still think a guy with an unbuttoned shirt and a waxed chest would suffer the same scrutiny). Would I like a reality where anyone can appear as they like and that our intellect would always transcend that? Sure. But life isn't fair. The professional world certainly isn't, and amping up the sex doesn't showcase our independence so much as it does continue to encourage women to self-marginalize based on appearance and draw attention to exactly the things that we've been hoping to level set for many years.
My opinion isn't a popular one with my 30-something generation of professional women, but I have some of the same hesitations and concerns you do, and watching my five year old grow up in a hyper-sexualized world is daunting to say the least.
I agree that "breastaurants" are NOT family-friendly. What does it teach my daughter about what's valued in women? My son? How does it value my wife? I'm pretty sure the scanty outfits aren't designed to trigger a sexual response in her. IMHO they are doing for dining, what cigarette manufacturers did to tobacco and what fastfood chains do to food - amping up the addictive index.
Thanks for raising the issue.
A properly dressed woman is much more alluring and sensual than a fully naked one.
Looking around my office in the warm weather I can see what he was referring to.
As a baby boomer, and one who does not follow rap artists of any sort, gender or degree of nakedness, I find the idea of a belly button ring more off-putting than a young woman clad in only her flowing tresses.
Lastly, I have no problem with women making the most of their assets by working in the type of restaurants you mention, nor do I have any problem with young children being taken there by their parents.