A French Lingerie Company Jours Après Lunes has just unveiled a new line of child lingerie for girls as young as four years old (called "Loungerie"), featuring ridiculous, sexualized pictures of little girls. This comes on the heels (or should I say, rather, the high heels) of French Vogue's photo shoot featuring 10-year-old model Thylane Blondeau in some rather adult positions, makeup and clothing. I guess this is the next logical progression for the little girls on TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras that are wearing more spray tans, makeup and hairspray than a hooker on Sunset Boulevard.
It truly saddens me to see a regression in what we are teaching young girls. What kind of message does it send when we are placing top value on the way a person looks, along with the insinuation that to look good means to be a scantily clad, hip shaking, heavily made up trollop with hair to the heavens?
When my book, The Entrepreneur Equation, was initially presented by my publishers to book buyers from the major outlets, the feedback came back as, "She is too attractive to be taken seriously as a business author". While now that the book is a New York Times bestseller nobody has much to say, the fact that the initial response was a judgment that a woman couldn't be seen as attractive and credible or smart is shocking. They would never tell a man, "Joe, you are too handsome to be on your book cover and be taken seriously".
If I, as an accomplished business woman face that today, can you imagine what the after effects of all of this media being directed towards young women will be? The fact is that pretty and sexy focus on what's outside and not inside and even worse, is something that diminishes over time. Do we want to continue to foster a culture that says to women that their value decreases as they get older?
Instead of telling a young girl that she is pretty, develop her sense of self worth in other ways:
Praise her accomplishments and character. Focus on who she is as a person, her intelligence and her character, instead of focusing on her looks.
Tell her she's good enough. Remind her often that she's got what it takes to succeed.
Stop her when she's self-critical. There's a difference between having high standards and beating yourself up. Women and girls tend to be hard on themselves. Teach your girl to do the opposite.
Help her be honest, not nice. Teach her how to be polite, but honest. She'll garner more respect that way.
Tell her not to wait to be called on. Girls raise their hands and then wait for their cue to talk. Teach her to speak up and contribute her ideas before she is asked to.
Be a role model. Whether you are a man or a woman, focus on the worth of others outside of what they look like.
So, who do we want our daughters, nieces and the future women of this country to grow up to be, the President or a Playboy bunny? We need a collective effort from women and men to not only stop this ludicrous sexualization of young girls, but emphasize the benefits of being smart and accomplished. The next time you are tempted to tell a young girl how pretty she looks, think about what you can tell her about who she is, what she has accomplished and/or what she has to offer.
Follow Carol Roth on Twitter: www.twitter.com/caroljsroth
Jowita Bydlowska: Little Girls Wearing Bras
Beauty is inside out, and it's going to be one hell of a miserable world for the girl raised to value only skin deep beauty. What an insecure existence, no amount of Prada can make up for that!
All said and done as an addendum, I have met spray tan strippers that are paying their way through a doctorate. I suppose the question to ask is intent? Someone with little choices "doing what it takes" for a degree or the entitled park avenue princess that doesn't lift a pinky. Values, Morals and the lesson here are less black and white. If only everyone had a mother that bucks up and engraves the message like Roth!
1. Anything worthwhile is going to require a lot of work, and possibly no recognition. The quality of your work and your personal successes should be rewards and recognition enough to keep you going.
2. Men are not "afraid of successful women". Successful women need to still keep up with their social skills to be able to meet and keep men, just like successful men need to do so to get women. Some successful men may get away with no social skills, but that's mostly because they date golddiggers, not quality women.
While some discrimination against women from men does exist, it's not the majority of them under 50. I find that women discriminate against other women far more than men do at this point- at least that's been my experience.
Do men like smart and accomplished women? Some do, some could care less. If some men would stop treating women as if their only qualifications are that she have a pulse and fog a mirror, you're not going to get to far changing attitudes.
Another thing, I've been in a lot of business meetings and have yet to see any woman in the meeting raising her hand to be recognized or being reluctant to contribute to the conversation by being a wallflower. It's been a long time since women were in the "children are to be seen but not heard" category". It's been over 40 years since I was in high school and college and I can assure you neither I nor any of the other girls ever had a problem speaking up or contributing to a discussion.
What, mothers have to be told not to focus squarely on their little girls' looks? O.K. now let's teach our sons and society to be that way too. Women and girls hardly manipulate their looks for themselves or fellow girls it's to appease boys and men.
Since when should a girl be told "she's good enough" as if she has to prove anything? She's good enough because she is, NOT because she's female. Mom shouldn't have have to explain, defend, or justify her daughter by good or not good enough. She just is! Honesty is NOT respected coming from women or girls. We're supposed to be honest to a point, not be too passionate. Only say one or two things. You're considered a threatener or harasser by some when a girl or woman refuses to sit in a corner and only says one thing to someone.
When society stops placing looks as the most important thing on gals more than guys, then we can walk through the garden of La La Land to "focus on the worth of others outside of what they look like." To be honest I don't notice people's faces. I look into their eyes. You can tell a lot more by the eyes than anything else. For some there's nothing there, others you can see the gears moving.
Bad article advice on a problem that's always been around.
She's not very wise to the ways of the work world, and how what you say and do can get one in hot water that is very hard to get out of. But she thinks everything she does is fine.
Guess the school of hard knocks will train her, but in this employment environment, losing a job is not a good thing.
I was in a store the other day and I saw that now MMA (mixed martial arts)--"pride" fighters have action figures--toys. No, these guys aren't superheroes in comics or cartoons, these are actual men who make a living by beating the crap out of each other for people's entertainments. They're akin to Rome's Gladiators--but with good branding and advertising. Everywhere I go I see kids wearing their patron brand tapout, t-shirts, shorts, caps, etc.
But I suppose, that's just how men are supposed to be. its what boys should aspire to be.
Actually, Ms. Roth.... in regards to your comment on your book and how people doubted you:
if the book was say "Men can raise daughters too!"
or something about relationships, they probably wouldn't take the guy seriously.
or how about...
"what women think and how to be a good listener" by Ruggedly Super Handsome Guy
-- nein. No go.
they'd assume a handsome guy couldn't possibly have taken the time or
had to, out of necessity learn about women or relationships.
Just like men assuming that a beautiful woman such as yourself
could'nt possibly possess the brains and experience to know how
to suceeed in business, due to, well, most beautiful women
getting through in life by their looks alone.
the bias goes both ways,
I think, the problem is making sure stereotypes aren't even viable--
thats the issue we need to attack.
Someone tried to tell a VP relative that, inferring she got the job on looks, and she ripped him a new one after listing her over the top qualifications and accomplishments.
they tend to be majorly true. it's sort of paradoxical...people pass on stereotypes down from generation to generation and give them the power needed to sustain them. It's socially constructed self-fulfilling prophesying. People like Ms. Roth simply being "exceptions to the rule".
The roles of the genders are still very much embedded within society as a whole--despite the well-wishing of any of us progressive thinkers. My point was that they aren't merely limiting the minds and spirits of women and girls.
we need to stop micromanaging.
until humans of either gender can simply be Humans: Citizens of the Milky Way Galaxy, we'll always have these (non-)"issues".
or does that make too much sense?