The Road To Addiction: One Reader's Story

For the past few months I have been writing about substance abuse and the road to addiction as a weekly blog. I have received many comments and e-mails from responsible, caring people and I am grateful that they have taken the time to share their opinions and sometimes their own personal stories with me. Though all have touched my mind or my heart in one way or another, I would like to share Darrell Hampton's comments which he wrote regarding my blog about how trauma can lead to addiction. Darrell's story may shed some light on just how challenging addiction and substance abuse can be to overcome in ways you may never have imagined.

Thank you Darrell for allowing us to post your letter which represents both emotional humiliation and unabashed courage; you are an inspiration to us all whether we are dealing with substance abuse issues or not.

In addition, my personal thanks to my editor Russell Bishop and the Huffington Post for extending me the opportunity to explore and discuss the difficult and painful arena of addiction; which allows the Darrell Hampton's of the world to respond freely and openly.

Dear Carole,

Reading your column in The Huffington Post was a Godsend for me today. I'd never heard of you and have felt for years that my opinion on my reasons for substance abuse were only my own.

On August 9, 2001 my mother suddenly and unexpectedly died. Six months later, on February 14, 2002 my only daughter was abducted, held at her captor's home and brutally raped for six very long days.

I responded with the worst experience of substance abuse imaginable, ending a 25 year marriage and concluding in treatment at the VA Medical Center. While there, trying to get a handle on what was happening to me and rejecting this antiquated theory that I was genetically predisposed to be an addict, it became a personal goal of those providing treatment to put me in my place and break me into a "time to go to a meeting" 12 step addict.

My storied experience persisted for over 6 years and has culminated in acts of patient abuse that would make your hair stand on edge. It did not help that I am black and my abusers are white. Racism dominated these relationships and concluded with seven VA. employees no longer holding positions in the Mental Health Care Line of the Dayton VA. The last person to be forced out for my charges of patient abuse was actually the Director-Chief of the Mental Health Care Line.

I have been free of substance abuse for five and a half years now and I live a productive life again. I knew that something horrible happening to me combined with my lack of the coping skills to deal with catastrophes was the cause of my problems but I was in the minority.

Having an entire department of Mental Health professionals pounding everyday to convince me that I was wrong and I was simply a hopeless addict actually hindered my recovery by years. It made the mountain so much harder to climb.

Thank you for bringing new thought and new words to recovery.
　
Sincerely yours,
Darrell Hampton

Clearly, not all addicts wind up with substance abuse issues triggered by this kind of personal tragedy and not everyone is equally prepared when they do arise. Thanks, again, Darrell for putting your very human face on this difficult issue.

If you, or anyone you know needs assistance with a loved one's substance abuse, please feel free to call me, Carole Bennett, toll free at [phone]. I invite you to visit my website at www.familyrecoverysolutions.com

Comments

[dhampton100]

I’m Darrell Hampton. Thank you all for such kind words of encouragement. At 56 years old and used to thinking that I would never need anyone. I used to believe that the true measure of a man was his ability to “walk through hell with gasoline soaked clothes on by himself”. I no longer believe that lie. It is amazing how much of a catharsis kind words can provide. I’m well now and I dedicate a significant amount of my time helping other veterans and civilians overcome addiction. I would be lying if I dared to think, for one moment, that I did not need the kindness of strangers to engender this healing. Thank you all.

[SaltySaltillo]

Good luck. There is a global community of people who have you and others like you in their hearts and minds.

[vippy]

I believe, many people have a personal story to share, we all have some baggage, some less, some more. I dealt with mine by thinking that I needed to be strong and if I submit to alcohol or drugs
I would have an additional problem down the road and that kept me on the straight and narrow.
I called it self-preservation.

[dwoodsvc]

I can only assume that Darrell served our country in the military if he was treated in a VA mental clinic. It's really too bad that we don't take better care of our veterans. You would think that these guys would be experts in dealing with trauma and addiction. This is really just my impression based on what I've read, but it seems to me that the VA has a history of providing sub-par treatment, and is really a last resort for people that can't afford better treatment. So there could be multiple levels of discrimination going on in this story, including socio-economic. I hope that Darrell's daughter was able to get the help she needs in dealing with her trauma. What a tragic story all the way around.

[Holypat777]

What a sad story. But informative none- the less.

Despite, all I am happy Mr. Hampton overcame his addictions. Considering, some would never find their peace.

God speed, Mr. Hampton.

[rlugbill]

I am an attorney and have lots of drug-addicted clients. All of us who deal with addicts have to deal with lots of incidents of lying and deception. Also, lots of relapses.

We get our hopes up and then get them dashed repeatedly when someone we know and care about relapses. So, we put up a front to keep from getting our hopes dashed again. It's easy to get cynical.

Unfortunately, addicts are often surrounded by a lot of people- police, probation officers, jail guards, judges, drug counselors, etc. who are very cynical, don't believe a word you are saying, and think you are going to fail. It's the opposite of the supportive, caring, healing environment that they need.

There are lots of people trying to keep you down and labeling you as a criminal drug addict, but no one helping you that you can recover and that they care about you.

I tell my clients not to buy into it. You can and will succeed. Yes, some people relapse and then try again, but as long as you keep trying you will succeed. Just don't buy into the cynicism of the jail guards and fellow inmates who are telling you that you will come back there. They are trying to keep you down.

[hulagirrrl]

rlugbill, you said: "There are lots of people trying to keep you down and labeling you as a criminal drug addict, but no one helping you that you can recover and that they care about you."

I so agree with you on that one. I strongly believe that we have created a "system' the ones who work with the ones who do drugs or whatever. Prisons are for profit, that alone will tell you that there will always be someone to keep the clients coming. What would the social services, the churches, all of these millions of people do if we did not have druggies, alcoholics, people who have "fallen"?
Clever, appropriate prevention, good education would be the first steps to combat some of the problems. I just think people really don't care if someone does drugs, because he will be a long time client for the system.... Just my thoughts.

[DianeDfromPhoenix]

I applaud Mr. Hampton's courage in writing and HuffPo for publishing the letter. I was coerced into going to rehab and AA in 2001 NINE MONTHS after I stopped drinking (had a period of heavy drinking after a trauma event) -- all because I would not say I was an alcoholic. I am a multiple trauma survivor with PTSD. My experience traumatized me further, ruined my professional reputation and destroyed friendships.

I found healing through independent study of PTSD and brain trauma, and most successfully, vipassina Buddhist practice. I still practice because it works for me like nothing else ever has -- and I was a therapist.

AA long ago threw away the principle of "attraction not promotion". It is a cult and like all cults has value for some people. It is however, contraindicated and outdated for the people with trauma issues.

[PatA]

My daughters both turned to drugs after 1. their biological father rejected them for his stepdaughter. 2. their stepfather, who they adored, rejected them after he married someone only a few years older than them. 3. my youngest daughter's counselor seduced her, at 16. 4. the biological father molested the oldest and i found out about it 15 years later. 5. both girls were diagnosed with PTSD and their treatment centered around the traumas they experienced. 6. both are happy, drug-free and productive mothers/wives/daughters now.
On a light note, my youngest teases me about the fact that I didn't start using and/or drinking while we fought our way through this hell.

[deleweye]

(cont. from below)

There are two drug problems: There's the drug use problem, and making progress there requires dealing first with why the person hurts and how they can make it hurt less, accepting that a person has a right to feel better even if it does involve unofficial chemistry. Given what seems a genetic need most people have to run someone else's life, fat chance of that happening.

Then there's the drug corruption problem, which at the moment includes just about everything our society is doing about drugs. Since among other things that includes making a number of decidedly marginal people rich and powerful, "rehab" will probably continue to be about as good a chance as we get.

Enough to drive someone to drink.

[deleweye]

"Rehab" simply replaces a socially-unacceptable habit with a socially acceptable one - which may or may not include sobriety. What is demanded is that the "addict" admit their helplessness, their lifelong lack of status and control over their life (admitted somewhere or other in the Big Book), and their lifelong membership in the "recovery" culture. "Relapse" is an absolute - one toke over the line and it's back to square one. Rehab validates the stigma of "addiction" while providing an income stream in addition to prisons & jails, which among other things supports a number of retired drug dealers who've become rehab counselors.

A person uses a drug because it makes them feel better - even an intelligent rehab counselor (there are a few) will tell you that. What happens after the person uses is a social construct - after Scotch and cigars, you have the valet bring the Jag around and drive home; after rock cocaine you prostitute yourself to get more. That's what society has decreed, and there isn't room here to delve into the tortured layers of fundamentalism and hypocrisy to get into the why of the matter.

[senorlou]

I hope he continues on that road he's on to recovery. It's a sad story, but there's hope. I don't know why people who are supposed to be helping professionals like to treat addicts so badly when they finally go for help. Addiction is their problem, what's the big deal? People talk about "tough love" and all that - yeah sometimes that's needed if it's your kid stealing your money for drugs, but no addict needs that tough love garbage from people who are supposed to help them during the time they're trying to break free. They need support, not hard knocks. You can be pretty lost and helpless, and then people who are supposed to help you treat you like garbage because you're helpless, and because they can. It's very difficult to get better in surroundings like that. I don't mean to judge anyone, but if any of you out there are getting that "tough love" treatment from your healthcare professionals, find some others that will treat you with respect. Good luck.

[pennywhite]

Thank You for sharing Mr. Hampton's story. Sadly, it does not surprise me. I resigned in protest from a drug treatment rehab because of the abuse heaped on clients (most of whom had already experienced lifetimes of abuse). My objections to the petty tyrannies and bizarre little power plays to which the clients were subjected (by staff) were treated like the naive misperceptions of someone who just didn't understand "tough love."
It is dangerous to assume that all - or even most- rehabs are healing or helpful places. Our culture is still too screwed up and backward when it comes to dealing with human beings suffering from addiction. We seem to be much more interested in punishment and humiliation than with genuine treatment and healing.

[skunky93]

I believe traumatic events can lead to addiction. Having watched a close friend fall victim to his inability to cope with trauma, he turned to something that would numb his hurt. Unfortunately, it became a habitual thing and his whole life has suffered for it.

[Uniqua]

I recently had a conversation with another regarding PTSD. We discussed our reactions to various situations and the anxiety that tends to swell as an aftermath to anything that ranges from a similar situation that is both good or bad. What I mean is, when something bad happens, we react in a familiar way. Because we are used to that reaction or somehow that reaction molds into a coping mechanism, we repeat the reaction. The same thing occurs, and is almost worse, when something good happens because we have so much convinced ourselves that everything will result in anxiety or pain. I've been sober/clean for 19 years. I still react to the good and the bad with anxiety. In my line of employment, sometimes I can harness the anxiety and the result is phenomenal. Sometimes the anxiety is prohibitive to success....but the anxiety or reactionary result stems from early trauma. Recognizing it and fixing it....well, 19 years doesn't seem like anything but one long day sometimes. I use AA to help me cope when I am overwhelmed, but I agree that it is not for everyone. It is my hope that therapists would treat trauma rather than prescribe for trauma...but that seems to be the nature of our health care system. Perhaps a paradigm shift is in order.

[noralou]

I have found sobriety in AA meetings. That being said; AA is a program of attraction not promotion. It is wrong to force anyone to go to meetings. It lowers AA's success rate and does nothing for the people who don't want help. There is a big difference between using over traumatic events in your life and real alcoholism or addiction which isn't dependent on how your life is going. I have to be forever vigilant because I will get a craviing for alcohol when life is good, when life is bad and when life is mediocre. I am an alcoholic. I no have to admit that if I take one drink, I have no way of predicting if I will stop there or kill off a pint or two.
I am sorry that this man was treated in such a way. The recovery industry is all about money and filled with folks who think their two year degree makes them an authority on you. I don't believe in treatment, I believe in AA which has been working since the 1930's.

[minkglove]

It's refreshing to see feedback in a real life application. Keep the blog rolling, it's wonderful to read and see comments full of true experience.