Sometimes I feel really sorry for my family.

They are the unfortunate souls who have to listen to my bellyaching on any given day. Whether it is over a temperamental computer (a constant), a renegade cat (times three), my frizzy hair (which is supposed to be sleek and shiny)...

I will come out and say it. I love my job. I really do.

And I also realize just how lucky I am to feel that way.

The fact is that every single day, I have the privilege of being in service to people in need. Sure, I have challenging...

If you are reading this article, it means that on some level, you are thinking about venturing back out into the world of dating after a loss, a divorce or a break up. Whether you realize it or not, this is a huge step forward and unfortunately, not enough people...

One of the most common dilemmas that the widowed face from both practical and emotional standpoints is deciding when to go through a late spouse's belongings. How long should you wait? Do you accept offers of help? How do you know when the time is right? Additionally -- and there...

Most people in the world are afraid of dying, which is not exactly what you would call an irrational fear. However, many people are so afraid of dying that they do not even want to discuss death, which, uncomfortable as this discussion may be, is downright irresponsible. This particular fear...

Although certainly not among the most enthralling subjects, dealing with financial fall-out after the loss of a spouse is undoubtedly among the most important. While almost everything else on a widowed's to-do list can wait, the importance of setting financial and legal transition into immediate motion cannot be overstated. If...

One of the most common questions asked within both the widowed and divorced communities is, "When is it appropriate to start dating again?" The quick answer is, "Only you can make that determination."

However, there is a far more important question that not many people ask -- and it...

I must have had a very confused look on my face when it happened.

It was the same look that I have seen on our cat when she sees a talking parrot in the waiting room of the veterinarian's office.

It was the same look that I get on my...

In reading the many beautiful letters that we receive every month, it is difficult to determine one lament that we see more than any others. However, if I had to narrow the field and pick one of the most common refrains that I see over and over, it would undoubtedly...

I can think of a lot of things that need filling up at one time or another. Some of those things might include:

** A bank account
** A gas tank
** A martini glass

Now... do you know what definitely does not need "filling"?

An astonishingly large number of letters that I receive begin with the words:

** "Is it OK if I...?"
** "What will people think or say if I...?"
** "Is there something wrong with me if I ...?"
** "When is it appropriate...

Twelve years.

An entire lifetime ago.

Whether by plane, car, ship, train or other means, most of us have taken a long trip of one kind or another. While in the midst of traveling, our habit tends to be to constantly check the time or the mileage to determine how...

A really appalling thought recently occurred to me. I would even go so far as to call it an epiphany.

It happened as I was taking a good look around at what has happened within the widowed community in the years since I was widowed and what is now being...

It should come as no surprise that I receive my fair share of invitations to grief workshops, grief conferences, grief seminars and so forth. One such recent invitation included a description of a grief workshop that kind of, well, horrified me.

The workshop description was as follows (in part):

"Have...

Valentine's Day is soon upon us and a quick glance around just about any store is proof of that. We are surrounded by The Day of Romance, Hearts and Flowers (usually starting on December 26th) and it is everywhere -- in grocery stores, in the lingerie department of your favorite...

I have always taken great umbrage at anyone criticizing, questioning or opining on how the widowed handle their grief and their highly individual and intensely personal healing journeys. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of it going on and, worse yet, it is causing amazing people who are going...

The widowed community generally spends a lot of time talking about how much late spouses are missed. Not only is this completely and totally normal, it is also a welcome catharsis and a necessary factor in moving through the grieving process.

But in the midst of missing your spouse...do you...

It is a sad reality that after losing a spouse, many widowed are the victims of accusation, criticism and actual blame. Whether it comes from the outside (relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc.) or is instead self-imposed, there is a lot of unnecessary pain being inflicted on the widowed; the very people...

The sunlight peeking through the cracks in the Vegas-style "blackout" curtains that adorn my bedroom signals the beginning of another day. I reluctantly throw off the covers and begrudgingly drag myself toward the bathroom.

(Am I a positive person? Yes. Am I a positive person immediately upon waking up? No.)

It's that time of year again.

We are all getting peppered and pelted with those endless ads and commercials designed to help you "start the New Year right" with all of the same old worn-out, been-there-tried-it-gave-it-up resolutions -- eat less, work out more, quit this, start that, spend less,...