In June, the Washington Post reported on an interview with Olympic hurdler, Lolo Jones, who revealed that at age 29 she remains a virgin. Jones remarked:
"It's just a gift I want to give my husband. But please understand this journey has been hard. There's virgins out there and I want to let them know that it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Harder than training for the Olympics. Harder than graduating from college has been to stay a virgin before marriage. I've been tempted, I've had plenty of opportunities."
Lolo Jones is a marvelous Olympic hurdler who learned her trade the hard way -- by overcoming difficult hurdles in her life. She is determined to carve out for herself a very different future, and her Christianity is fueling her resolve. It is a sad commentary on our culture that sexual purity is regarded as archaic, naïve and joke fodder for late night television. Jones and others, such as NFL quarterback Tim Tebow, are to be commended for their principled stances. We all know that Christians have their work cut out for them to counteract prevailing American sexual mores that reduce male/female relationships to sex and little else.
But there is so much more to say. Christianity is not confined simply to premarital virginity. On the one hand, any single Christian who commits to sexual purity in obedience to Christ should be esteemed. On the other hand, the so-called "virginity movement," helpful as it may be, is not nor should it be equated with Christianity. To do so sells the Gospel short and leads to all sorts of false notions of where young women find their true worth and what young Christian men should prize in them. Here's what I mean.
A message of purity and abstinence, as important as this is for young women (young men too) comes too late for huge numbers of young American girls, including those in church pews. It is utterly devastating to the one-in-four girls who is sexually abused before she reaches her 18th birthday. We live in a world where by the age of 18 an estimated 70 percent of girls have had sex at least once and not always by choice, where globally countless women and girls are in the grips of sex traffickers, where an appalling 48 women are raped every hour in the Congo, where within our own borders sexual freedom has opened the door for young women to be as sexually promiscuous as men, and where some girls with the very best of intentions succumb to temptation. I grieve all of this, but do not for a second imagine that any of this means a woman has less to offer a husband or that in any sense it diminishes her worth.
The Gospel message for women and girls is bigger than moral purity. It is a life-changing message that secures every young woman's place in God's Story and leaves no woman or girl behind. Against the changing winds of culture and the other voices that beckon to her, this message secures her identity as a woman as well as her purpose and meaning for the road ahead, no matter what she sees when she looks in the rearview mirror.
Every girl, virgin or not, bears God's image in her soul. God created his daughters and his sons to be his image bearers. His vision from creation was for his daughters to be his representatives in this world -- to speak and act on his behalf. This gives significance to every aspect of a girl's life and means, of course, that God wants every one of his daughters to know him in deep ways, to love what he loves, and to invest her life to advance his kingdom wherever she may find herself.
Every girl, virgin or not, is a warrior for God's good purposes on earth. When God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper [ezer] for him" (Genesis 2:18), he was establishing the fact that his sons and daughters need each other. The Hebrew word ezer (rhymes with razor) is a military term used 16 out of 21 times in the Old Testament for God as the Help of his people. As ezer-warriors, God's daughters join their brothers in the fierce battle against the Enemy. The mission of God in the world requires, by God's own statement, the joint efforts of his sons and daughters. They are to be a Blessed Alliance in taking back territory the Enemy has seized -- both within marriage and also as members of the Body of Christ.
This vision raises the bar for every young woman by calling her to use her mind, as well as her heart, soul and strength, in pursuit of a deeper relationship with God and of the wisdom and courage to represent him. With Jesus as her North Star, she sees what needs to be done and does it. When she sees suffering and injustice in God's world (as do so many young women today), she acts as God's image bearer and takes responsibility to right the wrongs and to share the good news of Jesus.
I'm thrilled that Christians like Lolo Jones are in the Olympics. But what she has to offer a husband is more precious than her virginity or a gold medal. As a bearer of God's image and as an ezer-warrior for God, she will be a blessed ally to a husband as together they engage the challenges of life in a fallen world.
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Frank Schaeffer: "Abstinence Only" Exposed as Subversive of Actual Evangelical Values
Now to live a fornicating life is NOT what God want's either. He wants us fitting those urges and to do the right thing, which is to marry, in order to have a safe and healthy sex life.
This is why more single people get STDs and have issues of having children out of wedlock than married people. It is the single people with the highest rate of murder in the womb and having to run out and by contraceptives or have to worry about how their world is going to be so devastated when if they have a child and are not married.
God want's us to have sex with that ONE person that we are married to. Not someone that we really love. Because if we really love them and they really love us, we would what and do it the right way.
How do I know this? All of the women I love wound up leaving me, even though we had sex.
We are not talking RAPE here! We are talking about offering to the one person that you love yourself. This creates what is known as a soul tie. The rest is gibberish.
Many women are raped,make a mistakes etc. That is far different from what she is trying to convey to this next generation of young women coming up through the ranks. The point is to stay chaste for a healthier relationship in accordance with the scriptural principles.
Society on a whole doesn't emphasize chastity, and from your article it sounds like you think that is acceptable.
As director of a pregnancy crisis center in the 80's I saw too many shattered lives from unwanted pregnancies, none were from rape. I am also well versed in the pain of rape, so I get it maybe better than most.
Lolo is sending a message to girls to remain chaste. That is very difficult and yet brings its rewards. Christianity is not built on one precept, but instead, precept upon precept. Don't take what she is saying out of context to make a point. That is neither accurate or fair to the message that this young woman is sending.
"We are talking about offering to the one person that you love yourself." ... the "yourself" that you mention encompasses so much more than your virginity. It encompasses your sexuality (which continues to exist after one's virginity is gone), your mind, your personality, your emotional makeup, your maturity, the breadth and depth of your life experiences, your appearance and what your choose to do with it, your weaknesses and illnesses, your relationships and family and friends ... so few people would look at a man and evalute him and "what he brings to the relationship" based on whether he was a virgin. But much of the religious world does seem to do this, especially where women are concerned. And it's such a narrow and impartial picture of what makes a person "valuable" to their love ones - significant other included - that it *is* laughable when it's treated with such seriousness. When addressed in perspective - as an experience that one wishes to wait to have with someone with whom they are serious about building a long-term sexual relationship - then it's not laughable at all, and should be a choice that everyone feels free to make without harassment or ridicule.
No doubt.
"I'm sure glad God gave us the Holy Spirit so I could stay a virgin till I'm married." Sometimes, I get the impression that that's what a Christian who is on fire for God is supposed to sound like.
Every girl, virgin or not, bears God's image in her soul.
Every girl, virgin or not, is a warrior for God's good purposes on earth.
Yes, so true.
I agree that having sex with one's spouse - provided one's spouse is also following the same path, otherwise you're still going to have to deal with the emotional impact of knowing they've been with others - is likely the easiest emotional path, long term. That said, I watched friends who didn't feel they needed to work on any other aspect of themselves because they felt guaranteed a good marriage simply because they'd "waited." I've seen people convince themselves that, because they'd found another virgin, they were perfect together. They'd marry, despite red flags around money, gambling, anger issues, etc., and 7 years later be in a miserable, unhappy, combative marriage.
Virginity is not a guarantee of ANYTHING. It's a not a guarantee that your future will be bright, your marriage will be good, your future spouse won't have STDs or hit you or have trouble holding down a job or be honest or faithful, that your inlaws won't be emotionally abusive. Virginity is a choice that you make for YOU, for NOW, for this moment in your life and how you feel and where your energy and time and investment goes. It's a choice to not worry about getting pregnant or catching an STD *today*. And that's fantastic.
Surely you must have an actual peer reviewed study of every woman being questioned to verify this statement? How often will the false statistic be reguritated? According to this number, one in four girls is sexually abused by before 18. According to another study one in four women in college get sexually abused. Yet according to studies conducted by the same people, in the overall population one in five women will get sexually abused over the course their entire life. Surely anyone can see the fraud of any of these claims.
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"His vision from creation was for his daughters to be his representatives in this world"
As if women are representative of God by merely existing as women? Are you joking?
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When God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper [ezer] for him" (Genesis 2:18), he was establishing the fact that his sons and daughters need each other."
How did you come to this conclusion? Is this the revision according to feminism 101?
So in perspective, I'd have to venture a guess that the statistics are probably closer to 50-75%, unless you define sexual abuse as rape and rape only. I realize that's only based on my experience, but my "crowd" would be expected to have lower rates than normal, statistically.
If you asked my amazing brothers, though, who grew up alongside all of the same people, I'm sure they'd express substantial skepticism as well. It's not something we generally share with men. Even the "good guys" seem eager to engage in some form of apologetics.
The hypocracy is mind blowing!
It really is the land of "judged" and the home of the "arrogant".
Remind me why I served my country again?
Jeeze
If you knew God you would not make this statement to Ifried9423.
Even Jesus questioned God's desire for his life.
Matthew 27:46
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
I have stepped into many a fundamentalist church filled with love, that is, until you share that you may have a Christian idea or two that is different from theirs. Then they very much show their stripes as a "land of the judging, and home of the arrogant", as Ifried9423, mentioned. They act as if they know it all. No humility at all. Silent condescension at best.
Not ALL churches demonstrate this foolishness. Thank God. But many do act that way. It doesn't strike me as behavior that is of God's true people, or that is truly Christian.
I am sick and tired of people like you. You use GOD as a shield to attack everyone who does not think exactly how you think. You use GOD as some sort of BFF as if you could throw the name of GOD around as if it was your own personal weapon.
Get over yourself. You are no more special than anyone else. Not the homeless; not the rich; not the weekly hypocrites; and certainy not the people who work their asses off every week to make ends meet.
"If you knew God..." you say? How freaking dare you.