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Carolyn Rubenstein

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The In2 Effect: How One Word Can Shift Your Perspective

Posted: 07/03/09 06:59 AM ET

Last week, I wrote about feelings of inadequacy and how I work to battle them. Notably, I received quite a few e-mails in response to that post, most of which focused on specific questions. However, while those questions were different, they shared a common theme: everyday angst. That angst was expressed most commonly with regard to specific areas of life, such as finances, career, or faith. I plan to focus some upcoming posts on several of the main questions--more details to come as I explore the questions a bit further.

Before discussing specific topics, I would like to share a secret tool with you. I dubbed this little gem "The In2 Effect."

Background
A few months ago, I found myself allowing negative situations to dictate my perspective and my mood. Soon enough, I began that all-too-familiar and very uncomfortable downward spiral. Thankfully, I decided to focus my strength: I chose to step back, see the big picture, and flip a coin. Flipping that coin would allow me to shift my focus from pure negativity to the positive alternatives.

Perspective
Does your perspective on something ever turn sour?
Do you ever feel as though you're stuck in a negative rut?
Do you focus on the negatives more than the positives?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then read on. Alternatively, if you answered no, then please post your secret immediately!

The In2 Effect

What is the one word that has the power to shift your perspective?
--> In2 (otherwise known as Into)

Be perceptive. Take note of when you see, say, or hear the word into. The goal is to strengthen your awareness of that word.

The word into serves as your trigger. When thinking about into, be sure to associate the number "2" with it. That 2 emphasizes the two sides of the coin you hold; essentially, the power you have to choose your perspective. Here, you have 2 options: positive or negative.

Take Action: Ask yourself what you can do to turn something negative into something positive.

Fill in these blanks mentally:
_____ into _____

Now that I've let you in on my little secret, let's talk about the background story that led me to the In2 Effect.

At the time, I was trying to let go of my expectations for Perseverance; unfortunately, I couldn't. I realized finally that I equated letting go with giving up. And I could never give up on my book, even if an entire field of well-constructed obstacles threatened my progress. I realized that I could choose to turn the situation into something other than failure: positive alternatives were indeed available to me. I didn't have to let go or quit just because of my unmet expectations. Instead, I could simply redefine those expectations, which would allow me to switch my perspective from "failure" into "success."

Now it's your turn, and don't waste any time. Start today! What can you change from a negative into a positive? How can you apply "The In2 Effect" to your life?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. Also, if you have a "secret" tool, I would love to hear about it!

: : :
Each day, I post inspiring tips focused on turning knowledge into action and action into change. You can read these tips and much more on carolynrubenstein.com.

 
 
 

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09:49 AM on 07/08/2009
This is something to take to heart and mind. It is so easy to focus on the negative and refuse to see the positive.
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Carolyn Rubenstein
02:18 AM on 07/09/2009
I completely agree :). Thank you for your thoughtful comments!
09:43 AM on 07/08/2009
Great insight Carloyn. Somtimes it seems we cling to the negative. Hindight is a wonderful thing but it is true that looking back it is often the things that seemes so negative at the time that lead us to the good places in our lives in the future, if only we are willing to turn them 'into' something good.
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Carolyn Rubenstein
02:16 AM on 07/09/2009
Great insight, Christina! I love your comment - so true to what I've personally experienced. It's as if the "negative" has become the default perspective - and hopefully with a bit of awareness we can change that perspective into something a bit more positive!
09:16 AM on 07/06/2009
That is an awesome concept. Not everyone understands the power of positive thought. It took me many years to discover that my faith in God and positive thought are one in the same. I am looking forward to reading more of your well put insight...bravo!
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Carolyn Rubenstein
04:32 PM on 07/06/2009
Thank you so much! I look forward to great discussion and new ideas -- and of course, positive thoughts!
Best wishes,
Carolyn
06:30 PM on 07/05/2009
Stimulating ideas Carolyn. Thanks for the inspiration. I'm reminded of one of my favorite Richard Bach quotes ""You have never been given a wish, without also being given the ability to make it come true. You may however, have to work for it."
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Carolyn Rubenstein
04:31 PM on 07/06/2009
What a wonderful quote! I am a huge fan of quotes so am thrilled to see many new ones posted :). I love this Richard Bach quote!
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tapeatsbill
Founder of the Ownership Project
02:55 AM on 07/04/2009
Wonderful to find your post this evening. Been thinking alot about this same thing.

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
In the space is the power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
Victor Frankl

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And I,
I took the one less traveled by and that has
made all the difference."
Robert Frost

Most excellent Carolyn. As we celebrate our freedoms let us celebrate our freedom to choose our attitude. And that will make all the difference.

Peace on ya,

Bill
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Carolyn Rubenstein
04:30 PM on 07/06/2009
Hi Bill,

Thank you for commenting and sharing those two quotes. I greatly appreciate your wise words about "celebrat[ing] our freedom to choose our attitude."

I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July!
Carolyn
10:32 AM on 07/03/2009
Carolyn, I love this philosophy. You have a wonderful way of showing us that we can control the things that make us feel like our lives are out of control. I wish everyone could get on board with this simple little suggestion, I really think it is a key to making lives better. Please keep blogging, I love how you make the complicated seem so simple. You are a treasure!
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Carolyn Rubenstein
04:18 PM on 07/06/2009
Thank you so much :). I hope that I continue to make the complicated a bit more simple -- that is one of my major goals! It has helped me to grasp somewhat abstract concepts and apply them to everyday life.
10:05 AM on 07/03/2009
Carolyn, the In2 Effect is groundbreaking; a secret sauce for getting through the travails of daily life.
In some cultures they use the phrase "turning lead 'into' gold" as a way of expressing that one can take something negative or of little apparent value into something meaningful and with great value. Thus, by applying this In2 Effect to living life I can see it as a tool for turning a bad relationship into a healthy one, a struggling business into a thriving business, and so on, not merely through positive thinking (although that helps) but through positive energy -- never giving up and making things happen rather than waiting for them to happen. This is a terrific post, thanks for your insight.
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Carolyn Rubenstein
04:16 PM on 07/06/2009
Thanks for the incredible comment. I love the phrase, "turning lead 'into' gold." It is a great way to phrase the "in2 effect." In particular, I like that you emphasize both positive thinking and positive energy -- making things happen rather than waiting for things to happen (so important).
01:35 AM on 07/03/2009
Then there is the corrollary principle "OutOf" as in "How in the world did you get..."

_____ OutOf _____

which is quite useful in turning a sceptical eye toward those In2 constructs we preceive one way only to find out later we had positive and negative all mixed up.

While the In2 effect is useful in transforming perspective, I prefer the "prism effect" which teaches that there will be more than 2 options to choose from and to judge any one as "positive" or "negative" is to miss the unique beauty that each reflection radiates.

So instead of

____ In2 ____

we have that and _____ and _____ and _____ and none of the above. All perfectly valid choices.
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Carolyn Rubenstein
02:32 AM on 07/03/2009
Great point to include and helps illustrate something I didn't discuss in the post. The word, "positive," is an incredibly broad term and includes infinite options. Similarly, negative should be interpreted just as broadly. Indeed, something that is negative to one person is positive to another. Rather than utilizing the "in2 effect" for judgment, I perceive it as a cognitive-behavioral tool.

I strongly believe in applying Newton's theory or the "prism effect" to the way we look at the world. There are never either/or decisions when it comes to our thoughts and emotions.

For example, after my close friend passed away from cancer, the only way I could find happiness was to shift my perspective to the incredible ways I could honor my friend's memory. How I could give to his family and share his message with the world. Shifting my perspective from solely focusing on the tragedy (even though that always still exists), I was able to counteract some of the negative with positive.

And then sometimes I just defer to Dr. Robert Holden's thoughts, "You cannot think your way to happiness. Happiness is not a formula of thought. If anything, happiness is the relinquishment of thoughts, theories, and theses."

Thank you so much for your thoughtful post. It helped me to think more deeply about the "in2 effect" and how I have utilized it within my everyday life.
10:15 AM on 07/03/2009
Speaking of honoring your close friend's memory rather than merely mourning over his loss, that is exactly what millions are doing with the sudden loss of Michael Jackson. All of the negativity that surrounded him in life has been turned into a celebration of his great accomplishments as a musical icon. Not to change the subject, the unintended consequence is it has pushed the media attention off of its coverage of the Iranian election.
01:30 AM on 07/03/2009
The secret tool is self preservation. To wallow in darkness is so angst-ridden and painful. It is a state of mind and heart that hurts beyond words. To preserve my own sanity, I don't waste much time in allowing depression or helplessness to creep into my psyche. But rather, when something begins to trigger it, I immediately begin calculating how to lift myself up and out of the funk. The effort and courage it takes to pull oneself out of depression far outweighs the passive misery of feeling sorry for oneself, no matter how justified it is.
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Carolyn Rubenstein
02:36 AM on 07/03/2009
Such powerful words. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You are living your life with great perseverance.
12:31 AM on 07/03/2009
Wow, what a powerful paradigm. Turning something negative "in2" something positive is something we all need to do every once in while. Wonderful insights! Cant wait to read more
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Carolyn Rubenstein
02:37 AM on 07/03/2009
Thank you, Ben :). You've been listening to me talk about the "in2 effect" for quite some time!!