With all the excitement about Pope Francis's upcoming visit to Philadelphia, I've been thinking about my own family, hoping that I'm on the right path. And this is what I realized: that most of us have two types of personalities inside us and the only way to balance them is through God.
I believe that we all come into the world with two dominate personalities: one of center-ness and one of other-ness. The stories in the Bible illustrate our dependency on God. Some of us receive our first lessons about God from our parents, as I did from my mother, who always painted a wonderful picture of God for me. But I didn't understand the two aspects of my personality, center-ness and other-ness, until I had a child of my own. I'm not saying we can't understand this duality if we aren't a parent, or that we're missing something. But I've come across many loving and balanced people without children who still show the true and beautiful meaning of service to family, and their focus on other-ness; they exemplify a life of blessings too many to count and they teach me with their actions.
But having my own child changed my focus from center-ness to other-ness the minute I held my child in my arms. It's not just that some things change when we become a parent; it's that everything changes! This just might be something to ponder for those searching for wisdom and success. If we can open our eyes and hearts to follow successful role models in our lives, we're all more likely to bring about an abundant life of love and happiness to the family around us. This wonderful, powerful quote of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis reminds me of my dear mother's wisdom: "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."
This is why I'm thrilled about Pope Francis's upcoming Meeting of Families in his visit to Philadelphia. In my own life, I've witnessed the deep suffering caused by a family's breakup resulting from parents chasing success, something that affects us all, especially our children. I'm sure you've witnessed this too, and I'm hoping for miracles. Pope Francis is passionate about this, and said his heartfelt prayer as a young boy was to keep his family together, since he saw his extended family all around him breaking up, which affected him deeply. Reading about this, I immediately felt a powerful connection with His Holiness's deep feelings about this, which resonates with my own heartfelt passion about protecting families.
The reason I bring up the parent and the child is because I believe we all want to feel the security that Someone is watching over and protecting us, and that we can depend on One who knows what is best for us. However wise or spiritual we might be, we are never closer to understanding and putting into practice the sacred mysteries than when we've become a parent ourselves. This responsibility is greater than anything else we do in our lives. This is the reason Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis's quote is so inspiring. She excelled in every part of her life, and yet her most significant goal is doing right by her children.
Sadly, some of today's new thought leaders who encourage individuals to focus on their individual success, abundance and fulfillment might be missing the most important measure of success, one that's right under their noses--their children. That balance between focus on the self and others is found by centering on God, which is necessary to bring about the greatest sense of fulfillment that will keep us comforted and in peace with everything else we put our hands on. The true meaning of mother and child is that God is mother to us, is our balance, and is the answer, no matter how our modern age explains it, and whether or not we are parents. We all desire God, and this is the same need for love we all crave. How can we expect our prayers of longing for something more to complete us to be answered without thinking of others, especially a child? Might we be striving before God? Like Jackie, I seriously think nothing else we do in this world really matters very much.
And through the years, as we continue doing the very best for our children and others, even if they might still be sleeping to this beautiful mystery of family, we can remind ourselves that this is only a passing phase. Because we know that we've imprinted love and wisdom to them. We can count our blessings while we re-live these loving memories of family grace, and this will sustain us for the rest of our years. This is the family legacy we leave behind and something to contemplate as we prepare for His Holiness blessings to lead us the rest of the way.
About Catherine Nagle: Catherine grew up in Philadelphia with 16 brothers and sisters, reared by loving, old school Italian parents. Catherine's artist father's
works graced locations from churches to public buildings; her mother was a full-time homemaker. A professional hairdresser, Catherine worked in various salons while studying the Bible and pursuing spiritual growth through courses, seminars, lectures and inspirational books, including A Course in Miracles and the works of Marianne Williamson among many others. The mother of two children and a grandmother, Catherine lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and son. She is the Author of Imprinted Wisdom.