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Catie Lazarus

Catie Lazarus

Posted: January 10, 2010 09:33 PM

Are You Smarter Than a Network Executive?

What's Your Reaction:

With NBC waffling over Leno and Conan and Fox's recent cancellation of Mark Burnett's latest reality show, Our Little Genius, it's too bad our little whiz kids couldn't replace the studios executives at either NBC or FOX. If the contestants from Our Little Genius can answer the questions below, maybe they will at least know what we're now missing. (PLEASE NOTE EXECUTIVES AT FOX OR NBC OR THEIR PARENT COMPANIES OR POTENTIAL FOSTER PARENT COMPANIES MAY NOT QUALIFY. However, interns and jaded lower-level executives may play.)

You are considered a genius because you:
1) Never would admit to creating Windows 7.
2) Know flyers are more likely to catch athlete's foot taking off dirty shoes than the airport will catch a terrorist.
3) Scored higher on the SAT's than the combined score of the entire cast on "The Jersey Shore" on MTV.


Our Little Genius differed from other reality shows because:
1) Proceeds went investing in our public school's to support non-geniuses.
2) Contestants were geniuses because they don't fritter time away watching reality shows.
3) The story arc included more than petty outbursts, cat fights, and a STD waiting to happen.


If you were in charge of network programming, you would:
1) Replace shows with low ratings with footage of baboons fornicating.
2) Enlist staff in Landmark Forum, Scientology, or Hooked on Phonic programs.
3) Create a show called, "Late Night with White Men" and hire a rotating cast of white male comedians.

Fox canceled the show you appeared on because:
1) Correspondent Sarah Palin felt appreciating "genius" would be offensive to true Americans.
2) Mental health professionals spoke out against messing with the only American children capable of competing with Chinese and Indians peers.
3) Seth Mc Farlane had another idea for a cartoon about a lazy, dim father and his barely literate offspring.

You were a contestant on the game show because:
1) Your folks need to pay their mortgage.
2) You would never qualify for an academic scholarship what without the branding potential of having been a child star.
3) Child stars tend to lead better adjusted lives, as proven by Andre Agassi, Tiger Woods, and Chris Brown.

If you won Our Little Genius, you would still:
1) Know it was rigged and therefore you didn't win-win.
2) Smell like the other middle schoolers.
3) Have no idea why Verizon Fio's and Time Warner attack ads stay on, but shows get cancelled.

If you lost Our Little Genius, you could still:
1) Run for governor in CA, NJ, VA, MA, and SC.
2) Miss out on prom.
3) Win science fair!

If you had known the show would be cancelled, you would:
1) Swipe a couple more donuts from craft services.
2) Bail, since you can always audition for America's Most Wanted later in life.
3) Still claim you saw Avatar in 3-D, even though your ticket stub says otherwise.

Senator Harry Reid, Glenn Beck, Whole Foods CEO John Mackey, NBC and Fox Executives, and Senator Joe Lieberman share what in common :
1) Same pair of two left feet, they rotate them.
2) Job perks, like having a job.
3) The wish that Al Gore hadn't invented the internet.
4) A lok for Snooki.

 

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