Having been a mom for 25 years, one thing I've learned is that parenting is as much a practice of repetition as it is of love. If we want to help our kids to make healthy decisions, we have to be clear about our values and about the information we give them on how to stay safe. Nowhere is this truer than those seemingly awkward conversations with teens about sex -- a finding highlighted in a groundbreaking new survey.
As part of October's Let's Talk Month, a national awareness-raising campaign that encourages parents to talk with their kids about sex and sexuality, Planned Parenthood partnered with Family Circle magazine and the Center for Latino Adolescent and Family Health at NYU to survey more than 2,000 parents and teens on how they're talking about sex. We found that parents tend to think they're talking with their teens about sex a lot more frequently than teens do -- and that parents and teens are missing opportunities to discuss safe sex.
The good news is that teens are interested in learning -- from their parents -- about preventing unintended pregnancy and using birth control. And what we also know from study after study is that teens who talk to their parents about sex are more likely to delay sex and to use condoms and birth control when they do have sex.
But when young people don't get this information from their parents, they pay a big toll. Fifteen- to 29-year-olds account for 39 percent of all new HIV infections, and 15- to 24-year-olds account for nearly half of all new sexually transmitted infections. And each year, nearly 750,000 teenagers will become pregnant -- the highest teen pregnancy rate of any developed country. We can help prevent young people from being part of these statistics -- if we have ongoing conversations with our teens.
But these conversations can't just be about preventing pregnancy and disease. Talking about broader issues like relationships and sexual orientation -- which our survey shows parents and teens aren't doing nearly enough -- is also crucial. This is where parents can play a really important role in letting their young adults know that these are safe topics to discuss. The data is clear on this, too -- teens who feel accepted by their parents and know they have a safe place to talk about their relationships are much more likely to be in loving, healthy partnerships. These initial conversations build a teen's foundations for how they will approach every future relationship.
As the country's leading provider of sex education, Planned Parenthood works every day to help parents and teens have these talks. We have professionals at our health centers across the nation who specialize in advising on these conversations. Our doors are always open and plannedparenthood.org is always accessible.
In fact, our website has tips on how to communicate with your teens -- from making "the sex talk" a lifelong conversation to looking for teachable moments to engage your teen. Planned Parenthood affiliates across the country are holding workshops on the subject this month and beyond. So, let's start talking, because the cost of not doing so is too high a price for our teens to pay.
Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America.
Follow Cecile Richards on Twitter: www.twitter.com/cecilerichards
Religious traditions teach sexual restraint - leftist sex education does not teach restraint as a virtue, simply a choice. And the epidemic of STD's, cervical cancers, abortions, reveal the true cost of these behaviors.
Radical leftist Hollywood wars against healthy sexual behavior, showing instead toxic, unhealthy behaviors like unprotected pre-marital sex. Leftist culture spreads human misery and disease.
How likely was it 50 years ago to see this scenario at a high school?
Pregnancy Epidemic in a Tennesee High School - 90 Pregnant teens, out of 800 Students in one school year. For some it was part of a pregnancy pact to deliberately get pregnant. 58% of black girls get pregnant as teenagers, followed by 53% of Hispanic teenagers.
http://www.wmctv.com/story/13824956/90-students-at-frayser-high-school
Still, education, honesty, and showing respect for life in one's personal life--including treating one's children with respect, is your best best bet--and theirs.
and then block the education and birth control to help those that fail
because it offends the moral scolds belief
that the child that failed will thereby avoid their "just deserts" is mentally twisted
and that is all that the social conservatives in this country are selling
I simply don't like the idea that goes around that no teenager has any sexual self control. I work in the inner city (where the inaccurate stereotype of the young black mother runs rampant) but many of the girls are making a conscious choice to wait to have sex, but I agree, it is better to make INFORMED choices than make them out of fear or shame. As a high school teacher, believe me I work in sexual education as much as I can in my senior law or psychology class, but the reality, I am way too late. These talks need to take place pre-puberty and continue as the children age. I know lots of liberals and conservatives and I have found both to be equally unkind and judgmental when teens in our schools turn up pregnant. It doesn't seem to attach to a political party.
I didn't learn anything until my very mediocre sex ed class in the 7th grade. They pushed abstinence while still teaching us about condoms, scared us with pictures of STDs, and refused to talk about masturbation, but I did learn at least the basics. I had sex for the first time when I was a freshman in college, and even with my lack of sex health knowledge I at least knew that we should use a condom, and everything turned out alright. I won't even get started on the topic of sexuality; I didn't even know there were other orientations aside from hetero- and homosexual until college!
Parents really need to talk to their kids about things like this. Even if the kid doesn't want to hear about it, then need to hear about it. It could save their lives one day.
My granddad died in an accident and left grandma with two children and one in the hopper.
As soon as the funeral was over she began looking for a working man in need of a wife.
She found Charley and he had several kids and a dead wife from childbirth.
Married and lived many years then Charley dies and leaves house and all else to his kids but was kind enough to allow grandma thr privilege of living in the house till she dies.
Big whoop that is a world that the pugs yearn for and I will fight to my last breath to protect women by being for equal rights for them and all others
I want you to have this some day because I love you so much, and waiting is a very powerful way to show someone what they mean to you. What if everyone you met said they love you? It wouldn't mean anything, and the same is true of physical intimacy. Lots of decent people don't wait, but they are passing on a chance for something better. If you choose to become active now, I won't love you any less, but I will be sad for what you will miss out on later.
http://sexualintelligence.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/mississippi-baby-steps-to-reduce-teen-pregnancy/
Mississippi has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country.
How are those repressive, sex-fearing "values" working out for ya?
Make it clear that they can come to you with any question without judgment, that they can talk to you about things that are happening at school or with their friends without you freaking out, and that even if you don't approve of their behavior you'll always love them and do what you can to keep them safe and healthy. Respect your kids and understand where they'll coming from and they'll often return the favor.
just a thought....
Yes, girls want sex just as much as boys, and I would say both sexes USE each other.
Abstinence until you are married. End of lesson.
Sex isn't about using each other or personal gratification it is about intimacy. Young people also need this, and not from their parents.
Your poor daughter, what other expectations will she have to live up to for daddy's approval.