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Cerian Jenkins

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The Tech Industry Is One of Subtle Sexism

Posted: 10/02/2012 11:13 am

Believe it or not, I'm generally not one to get on my high horse. Despite being a politics student, I attempt to keep my mind open and, where appropriate, my mouth shut.

But I have my limits, so I apologize in advance for what may be quite a long entry.

I am currently attending a GOTO conference in Aarhus, Denmark; it's a software development conference designed for developers, team leads, architects and project managers. Overall, it has been a great experience; my first-ever tech conference, my first time travelling to a new country on my own and a really great chance to immerse myself in the latest developments in the software development community.

As with most things tech, the conference is hugely male-dominated -- I'd estimate that around 90 percent of the attendees are male, and around 80 percent of the exhibitingsponsors, of which my placement company 10gen is one.

Now, this isn't generally an issue; I've always been somewhat of a tomboy, and in my short time in the tech industry I've been fortunate to meet some of the nicest people I've ever met; in fact, my placement company itself provides undoubtedly the most welcoming and supportive working environment that I have ever had the pleasure to experience.

Yet there are still moments where I am forced to consider whether this is really an industry culture I wish to be a part of -- and whether it really wants me to be a part of it.

Last night was one of these occasions, when I was confronted by a tech evangelist from another vendor who -- though not intending to cause offense -- blithely announced to a table of my industry colleagues that I had obviously gotten the10gen job due to being a "young hot chick," and that had I been "an ugly girl of 300 pounds" I wouldn't have been sat there that evening.

I'm not denying that aesthetics have an effect upon the way others react to each other, nor indeed the chances people are given in life. It's a sad yet accurate statement that we tend to respond more positively to those considered aesthetically pleasing. What I objected to so vehemently in the situation was that this man had taken no time to inquire about my academic or employment credentials, nothing of my tech-related knowledge (admittedly only basic at the moment, but improving every day in this job) nor anything other than what he took to be the only thing Ihad to offer as a person in that moment: the way I looked.

I'm obviously not alone in my feelings -- a blog post by The Real Katie summarizes nicely one of the most frustrating issues as a woman in tech:

Let me tell you, I love coding. Been doing it since before I hit puberty. I did it when I barely had the money to keep a server up. I do it on the weekends and evenings,and I'm teaching my kids how to do it. I've spent thousands of dollars to go to conferences so I can learn more about it. Why would I ever leave the profession where I got paid real money to do what I love?

In short, I got tired of being told to 'lighten up.'

This industry is one of subtle sexism. I almost prefer outright sexism, because at
least that you can point out. The subtle barbs are usually dismissed as something I
need to not care about. It was a joke! Sheesh. Why are you so sensitive?! All I did
was make a joke about you needing to be in the kitchen!

This 'beneath the surface, only having a laugh' sexism may seem harmless at first -- indeed, any woman who calls someone out about it is liable to be labelled as an overreacting feminazi -- but I'll be honest with you: it's exhausting. There's only so many times I want to have to fake a smile as a guy ignorantly makes a crack about how the logo is particularly well-placed on my t-shirt (right across my bosom) or how marketing girls are always a highlight of conferences.

Such subtle sexism is almost more infuriating than the issue of sexual harassment in computer gaming, because at least the kind of person to scream "Stupid bitch! I hope your boyfriend beats you. Nah, you can't get a boyfriend" are easily labelled as AWTDs (work that one out). But those guys acting out this other kind of sexism are harder to deal with because, I kid you not, they're often bloody likable people.

As Charles Arthur put so well, "It's a sort of background hum of sexism; the level of droning that can drive women out of potential careers, and leave the 'brogrammers' baffled, looking at each other asking, 'Where are all the women?'"

I think we can all agree, there's something infinitely depressing about the fact that even in one of the most progressive industries in the world, we're still debating the treatment of women.

All views are my own and are not anything to do with my workplace, uni, family or pets.

 

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05:11 PM on 10/13/2012
I have been working in tech for 10 years after 10 years working in Business and Restaurant Management, and I find I prefer the subtle sexism in tech over the overt sexism there was in the Restaurant industry.
In general I feel that most men in tech are happy to work with women and embrace the diversification of the industry. I am happy to ignore the bad eggs that aren't enlightened yet.
08:01 AM on 10/11/2012
Please, never prefix a comment with "I am not a feminist, but..." . What is wrong with believing that men and women and both due the same opportunities, treatment and respect?
Check out Julia Gillard's speech attacking sexism and mysogeny. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-19896465 which reveals with power of the frustration of women having to deal with casual sexism.
11:37 AM on 10/05/2012
I agree entirely, and I find it a shame that even for myself, the assumption that a young attractive woman gets a good placement or position in a company because of her looks, comes easily to mind. But I think that's more because I am cynicle of the attitude of men in upper management roles, rather than being against the idea that a woman can be beautiful AND intelligent.
03:09 PM on 10/04/2012
I think women should be more initiative on the tech industry, they should sharpen themselves with the tech knowledge, to prove that they could do better than males. If someone really insults me with words, I'll record it down and broadcast it to the internet and let the whole world know what'd he say and demand him to apologize to me.
01:55 PM on 10/03/2012
I dont find anything 'subtle' about what this guy said
private word after to let him know it was rude n hurtful. guess he knows now with this piece though!
11:43 AM on 10/03/2012
The author has described a problem that appears to not be an isolated anecdote, but fits into a wider issue of casual sexism in a supposedly professional environment. I do not consider myself a feminist, but it should be unacceptable for these sorts of comments to be made. It requires a proportionate response. These comments demand censure, but not censorship. Many conferences have instituted anti-harassment policies, and these sorts of policies should be used more widely.
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DD LifeCoach
Leadership development coach, expert snarkist
10:50 PM on 10/02/2012
I find it humorous that some of the commenters here make the statement that women have some responsibility in this and then cite only one personal example. That is called and anecdote and it's not data, it's not valid and it's not reliable. Where women are to blame, if we use that word which I prefer not to but for lack of a better one, is avoidance of the industry rather than sticking it out. Though I can agree that a person can stick it out for just so long in a subtly hostile environment. A little education goes a long way for those who are willing to speak their mind.
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11:23 AM on 10/03/2012
I'm sorry if real-world experience is an inconvenient obstacle to absolutism.
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11:28 AM on 10/03/2012
Well, Ms. Jenkins did include rather a bit of anecdotal experience herself, in fairness.
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Bradley Helm
06:24 PM on 10/02/2012
It's because: 1) there are so few females in computer sciences and the tech industry, and little desire among females to enter into it, even were their no sexism present and all male computer technicians and programmers; 2) most males who gravitate towards the tech industry, how shall we put this delicately, don't pay well with others, for a variety of reasons, and with them, their hostility would be more accurately categorized as misanthropy and they show the same towards other males; 3) a number, I'm not willing to even guess at the prevalence, but it's at least some of females but not the majority, mainly in the tech journalism side, who do get their positions, not out of any knowledge or experience in the tech industry, but because they're eye candy to appeal to nerds (I'm sure we can all think of one or two of the more prominent example of these figures).

For the most part though, it's an industry where results and efficiency are everything and those in it, male or female, who can achieve those will get ahead in it.
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06:16 PM on 10/02/2012
Lest this become too one-sided a bashing of socially inept male tech geeks (not that it isn't frequently deserved) I'll say that of course there are women to blame for perpetuating these attitudes as well. At our company, a director of Human Resources slept her way to a wildly inappropriate V.P. position by having an affair with the married C.E.O. ... what woman could go to HER and complain about inappropriate behavior in the workplace?? Naturally he got fired, she got fired, it all ended badly, but it was terribly demoralizing for *all* employees while it was going on.

I felt myself extremely fortunate for my last dozen years in a job I loved that (a) I had a skill set that was valuable and difficult to duplicate and (b) I'm generally the height and width of an NFL tight end ... generally I was just left alone to do my job and was lucky to work with a great team. But you hear about a LOT of juvenile boys-club crap in this industry, to be sure.
05:16 PM on 10/02/2012
Ms. Jenkins and Real Katie brings a valid issue that took me years to become aware of and likely a lifetime to figure out how to deal with it.  It's not isolated in the tech industry and regardless of Ms. Jenkins background comments like the one from the vendor are uncalled for.  He doesn't even know her background.  I can go on for sentences about all my experiences as a technical woman and the stuff that I have put up with not just from colleagues but even from people that should know better.  Earlier on I would try to come back with a witty comment.  But here is the kicker...men are sensitive too and all the sudden you hit below the belt and then you are mean. Or they think you think it's funny and it continues.   If you speak frankly that it's not funny, then you are difficult. 

I get it that they are just trying to be funny and no harm is meant on most occasions, but I should not have to build a thicker skin than I need just because men don't know how to talk to women.  Humor used to be my go to, but give some people an inch and they take a mile.  Then trying to be direct makes me too assertive (yeah I got that before). But some comment as simple as "you are just upset because it's that time of the month" or "she is going through menopause".  Not at work
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Robert SF
04:53 PM on 10/02/2012
Actually, I don't think high-tech is a progressive industry at all. The fact that it's dominated by young males who are often social misfits makes it impossible for it to be enlightened. At best, it has a dog-eat-dog libertarian ethos.

I can't say exactly what approach I would take. I mean, there's cold dignity, as in saying, "That's insulting and entirely out of line." I suppose there's also talking to the person after the anger subsides: "It's not funny but hurtful and insulting when you say that." And I suppose there's also dropping to their level and making jokes and comments about their male shortcomings and general undesirability to women.

But I'm not the one being targeted, so it's easy for me to say. I do think, however, that sexism has to be opposed. I don't think keeping quiet and hoping it eventually goes away will work.
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Mollyannie
Thinking "I can't" guarantees failure
06:58 PM on 10/04/2012
I usually just say I dont uderstand and ask them to elaborate. Any elaboration I tell them I dont undestand and could they please explain--while they do, I just stare at them.I dont say anything, just stare. Eventually, they run out of steam and wander away.

The first time or two that they do this can be timeconsuming, but eventually they quit doing it.
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Robert SF
10:38 PM on 10/04/2012
Love it! :)
03:11 PM on 10/02/2012
I'm not usually one to comment on things, but given the stellar responses you have so far, I thought I would add my two cents. I thought your article was insightful and true. As a woman who has been in the industry for 12 years, I have experienced my share of subtle sexism. I currently work in a group of about 60 guys and 4 women. I am constantly bombarded with the frat-boy mentality of not just the developers I work with, but also their managers and leaders. Usually I can shake it off, but when I do get offended, I often speak up - to very bad results usually. I have been called sensitive, been accused of "totally overreacting" and even been told to "shut up" and "stop whining" by our CTO. However, I know that simply talking about it doesn't really make it better. What are you ideas for minimizing the effect of this sexism? I want to help.
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02:40 PM on 10/02/2012
I recently finished a 15-yr run at a tech company, and there's no doubt that it's an area where progress comes in fits and starts, and gains are often followed by losses. The two best managers I worked for were women, but they were hired under the regime of the company's founders. Under a more recent executive team, women have had a much harder time getting into management positions.

Two years ago we had a partner conference in our main office with about 100 attendees. Not one woman was in the audience. A few months later I sent my boss a picture from a seminar I ran in Istanbul where about 5% of the attendees were women. "They're doing better than we are!"

The reason that any board of directors or shareholder group should take this seriously is simple: talent. If you are not hiring top women or promoting your talented women within the organization, you are settling for less talent than you could get for the same dollar, and the quality of your products will suffer as a result. Let the other guy make this mistake .... and yes, it's usually a GUY making that mistake. Women in tech do rock, but there's no doubt they're having to rock a little harder than men with the same skills if they want to get ahead at most tech companies.
01:28 PM on 10/02/2012
Wait she admits that she doesnt know tech very well, so obviously she was there for her looks. is she that naive that she didnt understand that when she was hired? Companies hire sales people becauseeither they know how to wow people with their detailed knowldege or because they are attractive. Since she admits she doesnt know tech, that only leaves one option. Either she is naive or she is just mad that other peope called her out for being the obvious hot chick used to sell stuff.
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Cerian Jenkins
02:06 PM on 10/02/2012
Not at all – I wan’t hired to develop or as an SA – I’m a community marketing intern with a growing and happy interest in all things code (in fact I have recently decided to undertake learning Python).

I was hired as I’ve had two previous positions within marketing and media, have held the post of News editor at a local paper and blog for the Huffington Post. I also am passionate about the potential of technology in this world.
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03:17 PM on 10/02/2012
No, no - you're trying to bring facts to the table. Obviously he is not the sort of person who lets facts get in his way (otherwise he would have asked questions before spewing his bull)
08:33 AM on 10/04/2012
I applaud you for taking a big interest in the material you are marketing. A lot of people in your position would not do that (male and female, I have seen both). I am an engineer, in my field I see a lot of companies that try and get their products in my spec's. The people that stand out, who are respected, are the people who know the material.
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Robert SF
04:43 PM on 10/02/2012
Even if that were true, why should she be "called out?" Anybody in marketing or sales needs to attractive. That's just human nature; you buy more from people whose appearance pleases you. It's not a character flaw of the person in marketing or sales.

I've met a number of male salespeople who were good looking and downright dumb. I don't remember anyone calling them out in public for being "pretty boys."
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Ed Baker
All Hail Big Mother
01:05 PM on 10/02/2012
Don't worry darling. In 10 or 15 years time, that logo will be down around your belly button, and no one will want to look at it.

Time cures all things.
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Cerian Jenkins
01:40 PM on 10/02/2012
Not sure you know how gravity works. You realise it isn't the t-shirt which sags, nor the tummy which rises, right?
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Ed Baker
All Hail Big Mother
04:37 PM on 10/02/2012
Yes, that's what I'm saying to you.  It won't be long at all and men won't pay attention to you at all, don't worry.
02:38 AM on 10/03/2012
Like arguing with a wall.

A condesceding wall who finds it difficult to get past its own scarring experiences.
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03:15 PM on 10/02/2012
Thank you for providing such a clear example of the sexist culture.
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Ed Baker
All Hail Big Mother
04:38 PM on 10/02/2012
Fact of life.  Soon no men will be interested in her tee shirt or anything else.