What to Pack

Sunday - It is amazing how little you care about stuff when you have flames licking at your heels. I flew back from a speaking engagement in New York on Sunday night and from the airplane, I could see three little fires out in the wilderness. Leaving the airport and driving to my home in Carmel Valley, the most northern tip of the city of San Diego, I felt like I had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. The closer I got to my neighborhood, the thicker the air. The fierce Santa Ana winds were blowing ashes all around. In the house, even with all the windows closed, there was a fine layer of soot on everything and the smell of campfire permeated our house. With hindsight it seems silly, but Sunday night we still went to bed thinking life would go on as usual.

Monday - When I woke up Monday morning and turned on the news, reality hit. This was not just going to go away. The three little fires had grown and split into larger fires, creating a virtual line of fires going north and south, east of the Interstate 15. The Santa Ana winds were blowing strong, and on the news we were told that they could not get the usual fire fighting aircraft up in the air because of the wind and smoke.

I sneaked into my daughter's bedroom and turned off our alarm clock. There would be no school Monday. A few hours later we were told that our area was designated a 'mandatory evacuation' area. We were told to get out ASAP, while we could. This all felt very surreal. We are four miles from the ocean. How could brush fire come this close?

I contemplated driving up to my mom's house in Pasadena, 100 miles to the northeast from here to stay for a few days. Ironically, she has been preparing to move out of her house to an assisted living facility a mile from my San Diego house so she could be near us. However, driving north meant driving through other areas that were being evacuated and I didn't want to be toast on the freeway.

Time to pack. The first thought in my mind when I realized the house could burn down, was an enormous sense of relief at the thought of not having to get caught up on my filing, or cleaning out the closets or emptying the garage. The idea of a fresh start was appealing. After a few minutes of daydreaming, I realized I had to make some decisions, we had to leave. Interesting what different people want to take when it gets down to the wire.

My 15-year-old daughter, Rebecca, was instructed to pack three days worth of clothes, and whatever items she could not live without. Rebecca packed her stuffed bunny that she has had since the day she was born and is literally falling to bits although I've given it a new skin many times. She also took the ticket stubs to all the rock concerts she has ever been to, her computer, her cell phone, her new video iPod, one of her tennis trophies and last year's freshman yearbook. She also took tickets to a rock concert she and I are supposed to attend at the House of Blues on Wednesday. She did not think to pack her contacts, her retainer or her school books.

My son, Jeremy, who is 18 and severely impacted by autism, needed help to get packed. He was standing in the hallway, rocking back and forth and flicking a piece of ribbon. This is his favorite self-stimulatory activity when he is stressed. Some of us drink vodka and smoke.

I asked him with his letter board what he wanted to take with him, besides his dog, Handsome. He spells out "U R NICE TO FIND MY BOOK" He wants his favorite book, an artsy black and white photography book on the metro in Paris. He was born in Paris and riding the metro in Paris is one of his favorite things to do. 'Got it!," Rebecca shouted down the stairs. "What else, Jeremy? You may not see or feel your things again. What can't you live without?" I ask. "MY MUSIC, DAVE MATTHEWS' Jeremy spelled. "I got him on my iPod, is that OK?," "YES."

I packed my jewelry, sentimental pieces that have not much monetary value but come from old friends and family since passed away, gifts from my husband, sisters and girlfriends. I took my favorite photo of my son and daughter -- their first Halloween in California. Jeremy (seven at the time) is wearing turquoise Chinese pajamas. Rebecca is dressed as a witch. They are so cute , smiling and standing in front of the rental we lived in, before we bought the house we are now evacuating. I took pre-digital photos off the wall, photos of friends and relatives. We have paintings hanging on all our walls, a lifetime of collecting from flea markets around the world, but I didn't give them a second thought. I took the two pieces of art nearest and dearest to my heart: my daughter's fifth grade self-portrait that won a ribbon at the local San Diego County Fair, and a multi-media self- portrait my autistic son made with an art college student. I grabbed a few days worth of comfortable clothes and for some reason my leather jacket. I had not realized until then the importance of that jacket -- it has been everywhere with me, a witness to my adventures in different places. I took my computer, and saved online once again the manuscript I am currently working on. Can't be too careful.

My husband packed some clothes, a computer, flashlights, cat and dog food, our Very Important Papers which are always in a metal fire proof box. He packed water, food, the kids favorite snacks. I packed 2 cans of fois gras -- souvenirs of a trip to France -- a couple of good bottles of wine, and a bottle of champagne. Why let it all go to waste? We might as well enjoy one good meal before we get really depressed.

All the neighbors are out on the street packing up their cars. We hug and exchange cell phone numbers and the surreal became reality. We are taking our two cars, so we split up the teens, the 2 cats and the dog. We head to Imperial Beach, about 25 miles south where a niece and her husband have just moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment. When they first arrived to San Diego a month ago, they stayed with us till they found their new home. I never thought that one day, I would need to ask them to repay the favor.

Tuesday - Tuesday morning, everyone is asleep in the tiny living room. I check on the internet, looks like our house is still standing. There is little relief in knowing that, because if your house did not burn down, it just means someone else's did, possibly someone you know. The fires haven't stopped, they are still moving towards the coast. I get a call form my sister in New York, she tells me my brother, a cameraman based in Philly, is flying out to cover the story for Good Morning America. My brother has covered many natural disasters in the U.S., including Hurricane Katrina, other floods and fires. This time it will probably seem a bit more personal.

Comments

[yossarrian]

the definition of insanity is doing same thing time after time and expecting a different result.
Why would people build houses in canyons that become giant ovens every time the Santa ana's blow? All of you live in a desert with little or no water reserves. Then when the inevitable happens you run around like headless chickens crying that this government agency should have done more or that public official is incompetent. Why do you believe developers whose only interest is in selling you a piece of land in one of the most hostile environments in the country?
You're the same as the wankers who build next to the mississippi river or below sea level in New Orleans. Then when it floods, which it always will, it's everyone's fault but yours.
I'm sorry that some of y'all lost your possessions but what did you think was going to happen?

[Athenawise]

A beautiful story, very personal, very resonant. I love the way you picked important things. I hope your home is OK and all your neighbors are safe. This is truly awful for so many people.
My 92-year-old mother was evacuated from her home in Escondido on Monday. Fortunately, her caregiver (who also was evacuated) is with her for the duration. They were able to return to her home yesterday because the fires ultimately didn't affect her area, but I'm concerned about air quality. Mom's in frail health, and her kids are in NYC and England, so we're monitoring this long-distance.

[SisterAnn]

One of the the saddest things I have watched on TV is the couple who packed their car with their most treasured possessions, then their cars caught on fire and they had to leave them. Imagine that.

We can learn from every disastor. There should be earlier evacuation notices. Or maybe people, since they know how this went, should evacuate on their own, while it is safer.

With the strong winds and drought, this tragedy should have been planned for. Arnold and his planners should have had a plan, to where they had a lot firefighters patrolling the area there, enough so that when the first small fires started, they could be Johnnie on the spot, with as many firefighters there and on call as it would take to put them out. It would have been expensive, but look at what this is going to cost. People could be asked to call in when they see the first flame in their area. The wind blew embers to other places, but if there had been enough firefighters at the beginning they could have located those and put them out, before the fires became unmanageble.

They have added 2400 prisoners to the mix to help with the fires, so they could have done that before the fires got out of control.

A downed powerline caused one of the beginning fires. It would help if the electric company would shore up their poles with automatic shut offs or something that would prevent that from happening.

The firefighters have done a wonderful job with what they had to deal with. Many have worked past exhaustion. I am not blaming them in any way.

[kati]

FCOL, she took the foie gras? Amazing she took the dog and cats and kids.

[ecotopian]

Damn, I hate feeling helpless! There ain't a whole lot I can do from Oregon. We, the state, are sending firetrucks to help and folks from the American Red Cross who live here are on their way there to help as well. We know a few things about fire up here.

My thoughts are with you and yours.

[kellygrrrl]

Huge Thanks to Oregon.
We've got your DC7's working air support right now.
The air support is the most helpful thing.
Thanks to our brothers and sisters up north.

[ROADRUNNER DEM]

This should be a lesson to all of us to be prepared. Ever since 9/11 and Katrina, I've tried to 'get prepared'. A few years back, we almost had to evacuate our area (in Pa) due to a fire involving hazard materials...then the wind shifted. I now have a section of shelving in the basement that contains: sleeping bags, water, first aid kit, lantern & extra batteries, foodstuffs (keep using & replacing them so they stay fresh) plastic utensils, manual can opener, old towels...I guess you can add to that. We keep our necessary papers in a brief case...'ready to go'. It might be hard to find or remember what you 'need' when the time comes: ins policy, birth & marriage certificates, Income tax returns, cert of dep, credit cards, etc.
Dont forget to grab your tele/addr book, too. I'm in the process of copying all our family photos on the computer. Then I'm going to save them on dvd's and give to several members of my family. I also want to have a plan of escape that everyone knows about so we can 'meet up'. It may be a mountain cabin (if we get one soon) or it may be a motel in a safe direction. The main thing is that my daughter & 3 kids and my son, daughter-in-law & toddler will all be safe. I urge everyone to start making their own plan. We're located about equal distance between NY CITY, WASH DC and SHANKSVILLE, PA. THINK ABOUT IT.
God help those in Cal.

[kellygrrrl]

anyone who does not have a fireproof box can put Very Important Papers in sealed bag and leave them in the freezer. It's the last thing to burn even if your entire house goes. It's not a bad idea.

[Leper]

This is the second time the fires just missed us (we went through the Cedar fires four years ago)...passed us less than ten miles to the north through Rancho Bernardo. We've been fortunate. My sister was not so fortunate in the last fire--only one house left standing in her neighborhood.

Good luck, stay active as a community. If your houses don't survive, get in touch with the people in Scripps Ranch and get their advise on how to rebuild. They had to fight the insurance companies (with help from John Garamendi), and they came up with some innovative solutions to bringing the cost of replacing the houses down.

[rlc41]

I just have to ask how much do you pay for homeowners insurance? I live close to a river and there is a lot of areas that are considered to be in a flood plain. Getting insurance when in a flood plain is so expensive it's prohibitive to building there. Insurance only pays one time. If you rebuild a second time, your on your own. I've always wondered how people along the coast and in fire areas does not seem to have the same "rules and what the cost is.

[kellygrrrl]

Leper, glad to hear you're OK.
Fortunately, you live in a wonderful community where the folks WILL band together and take care of their own. So Cal people are very generous and compassionate with a lot of power and motivation to get their brothers and sisters up and running again. I've seen it several times in the past 40 years here.
Good luck to you.

[dora rice]

although I am sympathetic to all people who lose their belongings since I can only imagen what that must feel . Mother nature is taking back the land and the beaches that were stolen from mother nature. This land should have never been build on. It belongs to the public to enjoy the beauty of mother nature. Whether fire or hurricane...these places should never be build on.

[Godmonkey]

And just where was your house built, Dora? On Saturn?

[peonyharp]

My heart goes out to you and your family (I am worried about mine too). Let there be an end to these nightmarish wildfires soon.

I hope, too, that all the brave souls fighting to contain the fires return to their homes and their families safely.

[desitter]

How boring. "Ah life" she moaned.

-drl

[Leper]

What the hell is that suppose to mean?

[Wombat]

It's only a matter of time untill some wingnut asks " Why isn't Al Gore protesting the fires for making all that global warming air pollution ?"

[palealien]

Very nice piece, poignant but so not pessimistic. I have been through the drill several times in my neighborhood here in the woods, it is nearly routine, and I am fascinated to see how people not nearly so familiar with the feeling are coping. You got a great grip.

At once, my feelings, prayers and best wishes go out, and once again I am reminded sometimes there is a lot to be learned by facing the past and the future condensed into one incandescent moment of decision.

And, renewing my plan to keep scanning my old photos! I tell ya, a $35.00 hard drive is the cheapest insurance you can buy.

Good luck from a neighbor up north.

[TimtheDemocrat]

Defo on the foie gras..

[Ani]

Be safe.
Be well.

Holding good thoughts for you and all who have been evacuated from their homes.

Be well all.

[amp27]

"She did not think to pack her contacts, her retainer or her school books."
Our hearts are with you all over the country.