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Charity Curley Mathews

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Why French Kids Eat Everything

Posted: 07/13/2012 11:31 am

Here comes another one... but it's not what you think. French Kids Eat Everything is a surprisingly charming memoir about a family who moved to France with two picky eaters in tow and returned to Canada a year later with a happier, healthier, more educated outlook on food. Make no mistake: This isn't a U.S.-bashing book. It's not even a pro-French parenting book. It's just the story of a mom married to a Frenchman who moved overseas and discovered a whole new way of feeding her family. A more peaceful one. And I think they're on to something.

In it, author Karen Le Billon describes her own heart-pounding fear about initially getting their young girls interested in sophisticated (to North Americans at least) French fare -- duck, blue cheese, radishes and so on -- that even French kindergarteners chow down with gusto. With nary a Goldfish cracker in sight, they do it with few fits and tantrums, and actually seem to enjoy eating long meals as a family. It's like the French Paradox, Part 2.

So what's the secret? Why are these French kids so cooperative at the table? Why DO they eat everything? Le Billon suggests 10 observations in her book (for example, no snacking) but I'd point out one of the most obvious here: Because their parents do. Their brothers, sisters and cousins do. Their friends at school do, too. France is a nation of food lovers and by this I mean food, real food made from real ingredients. Not necessarily complicated though sometimes it is, they take their food very seriously. And they take the job of teaching their kids about this national pastime even more seriously. Most people know how to cook and it's considered a crucial life skill to confidently handle yourself at any table, at any age. Manners, food knowledge and an open mind about trying new things are all, well, de rigueur.

My husband used to live in Paris and one of his French friends once described to me, only half-jokingly, their attitude about food: "We're obsessed," she laughed. "All we talk about is food. When we get up in the morning, it's all about what we'll have for lunch. At lunch, we talk about dinner." But there's a big grain of truth there. Eating can and should be a pleasure. That's what the French do so well; enjoy their meals, before, during and after.

On her blog, Le Billon also describes her children's school lunches, which sound more like a menu from a delightful Parisian café.

There is no 'kids' food' here -- if Roquefort is on the menu (and indeed it is), everyone gets it. If smaller children don't like something, they'll be told that they have to taste it, but they won't be forced to eat it. This is because the lunches are viewed as a way of introducing lots of different types of food to children -- a sort of culinary education. In fact, children are much more likely to eat new things if they see their peers doing so with enthusiasm. It's a gentle, fun way of broadening kids' palates.

The same thing happens at our nursery school here in Rome, Italy, where my 3-year-old and 17-month-old spend their mornings. A full-time cook is on hand to prepare a morning snack, three-course lunch (pasta, meat and vegetable) plus an afternoon snack for those who spend a full day there. Fresh vegetables and meat arrive daily from the open-air market down the street, the one where everyone in our neighborhood shops on a regular basis. At the end of the day, we get a report card for each girl, noting what was served for each course (though there's also a posted menu) and how much of it they ate. They always eat everything. All the kids do.

The French also make eating an experience. There are tablecloths, even at home. There are courses, even at home. The family gathers together, eats, talks, eats some more and best behavior is simply expected from an early age. But you don't get here without commitment. Certainly it's easier to instil these values when your children are surrounded by them everywhere but still, sports and other hobbies seem to take a backseat to this family and food-centric evening routine.

I'm so inspired by what Le Billon has done to transform her family's eating habits, from what she's discovered to the way she's presented it. It's not preachy and there's no finger pointing, just some great food for thought. As she notes in her blog: "I'm not saying we should eat exactly like the French. But we could reflect on if any aspects of their approach to kids' food might be useful in our communities. My opinion is that the French have a great approach to both what and how kids eat -- one we could learn a lot from."

Let the learning begin! This week we're sampling a few of her recipes at our place and posting the results on Foodlets.com, where I tell my own story of feeding our family" as well as I can. One bite (and two bibs) at a time.

 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
roadlesstraveled
12:15 PM on 07/19/2012
Really???? And what can the French learn from Americans?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Cynth
[Your ad here.]
01:40 AM on 07/19/2012
Children in most countries where I've lived and traveled aren't as picky as American children. They tend to have in common the factors, mentioned in this article: appreciation for fresh food, exposure to variety, socialization, etc. Most of the world hasn't developed the poor eating habits that we see here (although in many countries, people have begun picking them up).
11:44 PM on 07/18/2012
I cook everything from scratch.
I offer different foods.
We do not go to fast food very often.
I do not buy chicken nuggets or anything like that.
I do not make my children a separate meal

BUT

2 of them are EXTREMELY picky.

If I make a beautiful healthy vegetable soup for dinner and bake homemade bread to go along with it, they only eat the bread and take a few spoonfulls of broth to make me happy.

If I make salad with grilled chicken on it, they will eat the lettuce, green pepper, and carrots on the salad-no dressing either for both of them.

They will always consistently go with the least healthy option on the table. They do not like to try new things.

It is interesting to me that so many of you have such an easy time of this. I would say 4 of my 5 are picky-2 of them EXTREMELY picky. The baby will eat anything. Today he had pickles and pulled bbq chicken and thought it was the best dinner ever. Usually, my babies have not been picky. They don't get that way until they are 3 or so. Then they stop liking things they have been eating.

It boggles the mind honestly.
05:07 PM on 07/19/2012
I love your comment here. You do a great job. Hang on...because with the set up you have, I bet they will become less picky over time. www.feedingphilosophies.com
07:06 PM on 07/19/2012
aww.. Thank you so much. And thanks for the link.
06:16 AM on 08/12/2012
I make vegetable and lentil soup from scratch all the time and home made bread to go with it. If I didn't have any say in it, my kids would do what yours do, just take a couple of spoonfuls of broth and full up on the bread. However, we have rules. To get your first piece of bread, half the soup must be eaten. Then, once they get almost to the bottom, they are allowed as much bread as their little tummies can fit in to sop up the last bit of soup with.
This ensures they are filling up with the good stuff, and the bread is the side. They now know this rule without me having to remind them, and do it automatically.

At the expense of sounding judgemental, you have picky eaters because you allow them to be so. If healthy eating is really important to you personally, it should definitely be extended to your children. Lead by example, and set some strong rules around meal times and stick to them.
02:56 AM on 07/18/2012
When my kids were little. We would have international night once a month. I would pick a certain country, cook food relating to that counrty. We would sit around the table and educate the kids on the people etc. So much fun and a good way to keep kids open minded of other cultures and food too !
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jpfmtka
Life is tough.. it's tougher when you're stupid..
01:46 PM on 08/09/2012
Bravo! Fanned and Faved.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LibertarianCentrist
Gary Johnson 2016!
09:36 AM on 07/17/2012
Good luck finding chicken fingers and fish sticks in France... I spend bout 1 month a year there for work, and I eat 2 course lunches and 5 course dinners almost every day. And I lose weight when I'm there... Fresher ingredients, less preservatives, no processed food, makes for a tastier and healthier diet! It's funny sitting at a restaurant watching a 5 year old kid eating Foie Gras and a Souffle.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nicolerowan
tree hugger
08:19 AM on 07/18/2012
I live in France. Kids in France eat plenty of chicken nuggets, fish sticks, pizza and french fries. If you visit a normal grocery store, you will see a huge frozen food section full of processed foods. Beyond that, French families put ketchup on their spagetti which they eat with bread. Kids rarely go to nice restaurants. When I bring my child, I also bring a traveling seat so she can reach the table as they only have highchairs in McDonalds.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LibertarianCentrist
Gary Johnson 2016!
10:41 AM on 07/18/2012
All the time I've spent over there, most people shopped at the weekly markets, The grocery stores are great though, I always end up buying way too much cheese... LOL
09:34 AM on 07/17/2012
Wait... Americans don't have courses and tablecloths for their home meals!?

My story is almost the opposite - I grew up in a very European, omnivorous home and ate everything that was put in front of me, but last year I became vegan.

The funny thing is, I found it a lot easier than many vegans I know. I think because I grew up eating a very wide variety of foods and developed cooking skills at a young age, I've now found it easy to switch to a much healthier and cruelty-free diet.

No matter where you end up diet-wise, food is a huge part of all our lives and it's strange how many people see it as an afterthought.
02:51 AM on 07/18/2012
Um, not Burger King and McDonalds does not have tablecloths LOL. It seems most Americans eat over the sink, too busy for anything! Pity!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
roadlesstraveled
12:13 PM on 07/19/2012
"...healthy and cruely-free diet"....lol and I thought I've heard it all..lol
12:13 AM on 07/24/2012
elaborate!
06:49 PM on 07/16/2012
Great article. I love the highlight on how they treat children and I love the idea of not having a kids menu. Why cant they eat the same food as adults? WHat makes it so un kid worthy? lol. And its true about parenting changes it too. Catering to certain demands and in general not caring about what your kid eats is kind of depressing. My older brother dated a woman, now his ex wife, and her twin toddler boys used to always ask for circles..they meant slices of bologna..Im like youve got to be kidding me.. -.-
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BIGBADWOOF
06:04 PM on 07/16/2012
The French do not spoil their kids, although French children are the best dressed in the world. French kids are treated as small adults. Perhaps we might start paying attention to the rest of the world, instead of sneering at everybody else.
06:23 AM on 07/17/2012
Well, I grew up in Canada. My parents are French. Our meals were long, happy. We sat arounfd the table for hours talking. Meal time was never something to endure! There were no arguments etc.
Now, my husbands family on the other hand. Ate as fast as they can, bicker at the table, and don't talk! I found this very unsettling, noticed a change in MY eating habits when around them. So, I can only imagine how kids would react.
05:40 PM on 07/16/2012
We spent a day in Paris in the mid-1980's. The cost of everything, including food, was outrageous so.. we went to an Indian restaurant (my favorite "foreign" food) and had an incredibly delicious meal that was reasonably priced. The same goes for London. We only ate in Indian restaurants....all were delicious and reasonable.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LibertarianCentrist
Gary Johnson 2016!
09:37 AM on 07/17/2012
Next time visit france and don't go to Paris... It would be like visiting the US and only going to NYC.
11:50 AM on 07/17/2012
relevance?
05:15 PM on 07/16/2012
My kids eat almost anything and we don't have a set eating schedule. When they tell me they're hungry, I ask them what they want then I let them help me make it. They're 4,6 and 7 and even though they eat often, they are very thin. I've found feeding toddlers vegetables/food that are recognizable (not mush) helps them get more into eating different foods. You just have to cook them enough so they don't need teeth to eat them.
09:35 AM on 07/17/2012
If your children are very thin you may wish to consider taking them do a doctor or nutritionist for a check-up?
08:00 AM on 07/18/2012
"If your children are very thin you may wish to consider taking them do a doctor or nutritionist for a check-up?"
LOL. I was thin as a rail as a kid because I ate real food from our garden and played outside. She means thin and healthy, not emaciated.
fordgarye
alias Asher-Judah יהודה אָשֵׁר
04:57 PM on 07/16/2012
I grew up in a home where we were required to at least try something before declaring we didn't like it. Consequently my father complained about the enormous grocery bill because his kids liked everything and had appetites like stevedores. We ate what was in season, there was always a salad, and fruit in the house. We rarely had dessert. Cooking was not fancy, just good flavorful cooking. It also helped that both my parents cooked and knew how to use spices for flavoring - and we all adored garlic. I don't know how to explain this as we didn't have family "ethnic" background to rely on. If I had a complaint about what we were fed, it might be that in those days, if a vegetable was "crunchy" - it wasn't considered "done." I like my vegetables a bit crisper now. LAY OFF THE SALT - salty food is a habit hard to break. If you become accustomed to heavily salted food, nothing tastes properly without it and that's not good. Our meals were not complex - nutritious and put together by two parents who both worked - simple meals. And meal time was when the family sat together. My father starved as a child during the "Great Depression" so there was always more food on the table than needed - so if someone left the table hungry - it was their choice. If there was unexpected company they were quickly asked to stay for supper, and there was
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
2Shy
Hush Hush, Eye to Eye
04:49 PM on 07/16/2012
Three words jumped out at me in the article:

FULL-TIME COOK.

It's all the typical American day care center can do to keep the little rugrats busy for eight hours, much less give thought to any culinary education.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cdecisneros
my micro bio is empty because I went to the micro
09:27 AM on 07/17/2012
I saw that also. If that is "socialism" then sign me up.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
2Shy
Hush Hush, Eye to Eye
10:59 AM on 07/17/2012
In France, you're only dealing with one culture. Here, the average day care center might have children who are Asian, Hispanic, African-American, etc. (Even there, you have variations within cultures. Children might be Cuban, Mexican, Chinese, Korean, Laotian, Vietnamese, Puerto Rican, Honduran, Haitian, what-have-you.)

If you try to teach children to eat one style of cooking, parents of the other children are going to complain, "Why are you feeding my child THIS?! This isn't what we serve at home!"
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LILLYPUTT
02:54 AM on 07/18/2012
Americans that have little knowledge of Europe don't realize some of the wonderful things these countries offer for the families. My father is Italian , my grand parents came from Italy and their children were raised as if they lived in the old country. Everything they ate was home made, eve4n Pizza, the best i ever had. The children ate everything the adults ate and loved it. Growing up my sister, brother and i were raised the same way.Tablecloths and cloth napkins.No junk food ever,my father would have thrown it out the door.raised my son the same way and i still cook from scratch today, although i do like my desserts . I feel the same seeing other countries. sign me up for ''socialism as well''. Their citizens seem very happy with it.
04:37 PM on 07/16/2012
Typically the French shop on a daily basis to insure they are getting the freshest produce, meat or seafood available. Even the smallest hamlet will have a weekly, if not twice weekly "farmers" market. They don't store perishable foods in the refrigerator for a week or 2. In the U.S. on the other hand you see people strolling down the aisles, their carts overflowing with processed and frozen foods. Some Americans are shopping and eating better but overall the culture has far to go.
04:19 PM on 07/16/2012
I have a collction of all different types of table cloths. Whenever we sit down to eat, I use a table cloth, and I use cloth napkins. I don't criticize anyone for not doing it. It's just something I like to do and it costs me no extra time to do it. My family really enjoys it, and I think we linger a little longer over our food and we tend to socialize more. Unpleasantness is not allowed to interfere; it's a lot of fun and the kids have voiced how much they love doing this.
04:57 PM on 07/17/2012
We have always done this since I was a child and then with my children and my grandchildren. I also only use paper towels if it's something yucky I don't want on my dishrag or dishcloth, like cat or dog puke or (very rarely but it happens) an animal has diarrhea. I use clothes and wash them rather than waste money on paper towels. I have collected Belleek china from Ireland for 45 years and when my daughter came home from grammar school we would bring out the Belleek tea pot and tea cups and a lace tablecloth and have tea and snacks. She loved it growing up but never had time once she was a teenager. I tried to tell her how careful we must be with the Belleek when she was little and one day she had a friend over when she was 5 and I heard her say "you can look and touch but I have to hold this because as soon as my mother dies, it's mine". Guess I didn't explain correctly!
04:58 PM on 07/17/2012
that should be, "I use cloths", not clothes!
05:31 PM on 07/17/2012
Well thank you/ I couldn't have lived another day without knowing I had made such a gross typo.
05:33 PM on 07/17/2012
Now look at my comment again, and you will see that it wasn't the use of clothes that was my mistake. No where int he above comment will you observe the word "clothes" . But I did make a typo, and that was leaving out the "e" in the word collection.
04:03 PM on 07/16/2012
I am hosting 3 French foreign exchange students and all they want to eat is fast food, lol!
04:38 PM on 07/16/2012
It's a novelty.