Say It Ain't So, Peyton

Dear Peyton,

You were my hero for a long, long time. I grew up in Tennessee cheering for the UT Volunteers. I rooted for you in the Gator Bowl, the Florida Citrus Bowl and the Orange Bowl. I stuck with you through all those brilliant but ultimately frustrating years with the Indianapolis Colts. And finally I got to rejoice in your recent Super Bowl triumph. What a great night for me and my hero.

Then came your prize. No, not the Vince Lombardi championship trophy. I'm talking about the new Cadillac for being Super Bowl MVP. Since you could afford to buy any car on your own, you have to admit that you were shamelessly allowing yourself to be used in a corporate promotional stunt.

But that's not the real problem. Of all the Cadillac models offered, you chose an Escalade SUV. The new Escalade model that Consumer Reports recently tested got 9 miles per gallon in city driving. Now I know that you need to spend countless hours honing your passing and play-calling skills, and your favorite news show is probably ESPN's SportsCenter, but don't you know anything about current events? Don't you know that the more gasoline you burn, the greater your personal contribution to global warming, arguably the most serious threat to the future of civilization? Even if you rely on the scientific expertise of Rush Limbaugh and Michael Crichton, and therefore don't believe global warming is a problem, there are other factors to consider. Don't you know that the more gasoline you burn, the more money you put in the pockets of Iranians who allegedly send weapons to Iraqi insurgents to help kill our troops?

Ok, I know you need transportation. But why such a monster ride? You and your wife don't have children yet. How large is your posse?

Why, you might counter, am I picking on you? Yeah, I admit I'm shamelessly using your celebrity and unenlightened vehicle preference to make a point. I'm going after you because star athletes and gangsta rappers, who are also big fans of Escalades, are role models for many people. You define success and define what it is to be cool. But isn't being a super quarterback cool enough, without the big wheels? Don't you care that we are growing ever more dependent on foreign oil and changing our climate in ways that could wreck the lives of future generations? Did you realize what kind of statement you were making when you chose the Escalade?

Of course, you could quickly make my point a moot point. You could trade that $60,000 Escalade for a new Toyota Prius and get $37,000 in change. The battery on board that baby will help you boost your gas mileage to 35 mpg, even on congested Indianapolis streets. You'll be making the right statement when pull up to the RCA Dome. Everyone will be cheering you except for Exxon, Iran and other oil producers. And you'll be my hero again.

Yours truly,

Charles Alexander, former environment editor of TIME magazine