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Rick Perry Calls Hillary Clinton

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[phone rings]

HILLARY CLINTON: Hello?

RICK PERRY: Hi, Hillary!

HILLARY: Uh, hello... who is this?

RICK: It's Rick Perry! How are you?

HILLARY: I'm sorry, Rick who?

RICK: Governor Rick Perry?

HILLARY: ....

RICK: ...you know, of Texas?

HILLARY: Okay, yes... hi, Rick. May I ask how you got this number?

RICK: Not important. Listen... I assume you heard I decided not to seek re-election in Texas.

HILLARY: ....

RICK: And, uh, I assume you know I'm running for president in 2016.

HILLARY: Um... I don't--

RICK: Well, it's been in the news, you know. Everyone expects me to run.

HILLARY: Rick, listen... I'm really busy, righ--

RICK: Hillary, I just want to wish you the best of luck. I can't wait for us to run a good, clean campaign against each other.

HILLARY: ....

RICK: Any tips for me?

HILLARY: What is the difference between your ass and a hole in the ground?

RICK: It's um... uh... um...

HILLARY: Before you announce, make sure you learn that.

RICK: Well, that's great advice! Thanks, Hil!

HILLARY: Okay, well, this has been fun, Rick, but...

RICK: Oh, of course! Ya gotta save the world or whatever. But good talk! We'll do it again, soon.

[hangs up]

BILL: Who was that?

HILLARY: The hopes and dreams of the Republican Party.