The Electoral Season

My opponents are yapping at my heels.

I have been asked if I wish them ill.

No, I do not wish them ill. If I wished them ill I would withdraw from the race. For this job, finally, is an unmitigated pain in the ass.

Yes, there are moments of reward -- as when the Press goes home, or I can just sit back on Air Force One and tell racist jokes; but, by and large, the job is a never ending grind, with little to look forward to but the hundreds of millions of dollars my supporters will be called upon to cough up when I have left office.

Let me serve notice on them now: you may call it "directorships," or "Charitable Institutions," or stock tips, or the "loan" of your beach house, but, friends, I did my part and you're going to do yours.

And, should one of my opponents prove successful come November, I say to them what the aged parents say to those with a newborn: "Ha Ha -- you're in for it now!"

God bless the United States.

-- Charles H.P. Smith

www.novembertheplay.com

Comments

[somenyguy]

First he sold out to Hollywood, then he sold out to the GOP. Trust me, kids, I'm old enough to remember when Mamet was interesting and relevant -- but that was a long time ago.

[Imabachi]

I'd say the man knows what he's talkin' about. It's got to be a helluva job; it puts gray into your hair almost overnight and ages you immensely. And can you imagine havin' t' talk, almost on a daily basis to doofuses like Sen. (Global Warming is a Hoax) Inhofe of Oklahoma or James Dobson. Sheesh!

[Tasies]

Alright, Glengarry I'll give a pass to, but I'll continue on my path as a "mindless liberal" rather than a spineless conservative.

[cuvo]

Did one of America's great writers just drop by in order to treat us to an advertisement for his play?

How very disappointing.

[bdd]

Pathetic.

[tstamp]

Third place is you're fired.

[excitablerooster]

Coffee is for closers.