I have said it before, and I will say it again: Communication is the most important part of any relationship. And I mean communication right from the start!
When someone emails, texts, or phones you, they reaching out to you to communicate with you. This means that they are expecting you to return the communication promptly. It amazes me how many times I hear people say, "Oh, yeah. I got an email from them a few days ago, but I haven't replied yet." Or, "Yes, I am interested in them, but I haven't had time to return their text from yesterday." My response is, "What are you waiting for?" If someone texts you, emails you, or even leaves a voicemail, get back to them ASAP! If you don't reply in a timely manner, you are simply being rude.
This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships. It is just common courtesy to respond promptly to any kind of communication. But if you are "into" someone, you definitely have to respond quickly. Don't play the waiting game. Many people think that a quick response makes them look needy. On the contrary, a quick response proves to the other person that you value their time and their feelings.
Some of the people with whom I work in my matchmaking business ask, "But what if I am not into the person? Do I still return the communication?" My response is, "Yes!" If someone texts, emails, or calls you, and you are not into them, put on your big boy/girl panties and respond to them, and simply say something like, "It's been nice meeting you, but..." Honesty is the best policy, and I believe that every relationship needs closure. Look at it this way: Would you like to be the person who never gets a response? Never leave someone hanging. As my momma used to say, "Mind your manners, and don't be rude!"
Once you are madly in love, feel free to communicate 24/7, but until then, here are some guidelines for texting, emailing, and phoning that you should keep in mind when getting to know someone:
- Call or text no more than three times a day.
- It is polite to call, text, or email between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. (That is a rule my momma taught me.) Waking someone up too early or calling or texting too late can turn some people off.
- Until you are dating steadily, always keep your calls and texts sweet, but don't overdo it. Too many XOXOXOXOXOXOXOs when you first meet can scare someone away!
In this day and age we have multiple ways to communicate. I believe that what we have to start doing is communicating better. If you are really into someone, go old school: Pick up the phone and give them a call instead of texting or emailing. That will really show them that you care!
If you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out to me. I am here if you need me.
Follow Charlie Maffei on Twitter: www.twitter.com/CMatchmaker