I don't believe in mistakes. Mistakes make us who we are. I believe that we should all learn from our mistakes and better ourselves.
In my matchmaking business I come across people every day that are stuck in a rut because they do not realize the mistakes that they are making in trying to find that special someone. Unfortunately, many of us make the same mistakes over and over again instead of realizing there is an issue and correcting it. You know the old Chinese proverb "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me," well the real fools are the ones that do not take the time to realize they are making mistakes to begin with.
One of the first things that I do with my clients is sit down and go over their dating history to see if there are any recurring issues. It is hard for some people to realize, but many relationships do not go further than a first date because they are making the mistake of choosing the wrong "type" of person right out of the gate. I know that we all picture ourselves in a long-term relationship with hotties that look like Brad Pitt or the beautiful people we see in every movie and magazine but the reality is that the world is made up of regular ladies and gents that are looking for someone to love just like you.
Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are looking for the right "type" to date:
Am I looking in the correct age group?
AGE IS JUST A NUMBER! Get over the age thing and meet people and find out what they are all about instead of turning prospective dates away due to their age. In this day and age, people are aging more gracefully than ever. I meet people in their 40s that look like they are in their 30s and people in their 50s and 60s look like they are in their 40s. You CANNOT judge a book by its cover these days!
(On a personal note, My husband and I met when I was 20 and he was 36. In all honesty, he tried to run when he found out how young I was. But he was exactly what I was looking for. There was no way I was letting him go. I proved to him that I was more mature and independent than most of the men he had ever dated. Here we are 22 years later in a loving, long-term relationship. He is glad I forced him to get over the age issue and didn't let him run away!)
Is my vision of Mr./Ms. Right attainable?
If you are looking for the hottie with the six-pack abs, perfect skin, killer smile, great hair and great fashion sense, you better measure up. I am sorry for the tough love BUT here it is. IF a great looking partner on your arm is what you are searching for then you better get yourself into the gym a few times a week, book a spa, salon AND dentist appointment, go shopping for a new wardrobe and THEN go out looking for perfection in someone else.
(I am in no way saying that everyone MUST be pretty. What I am saying is that if you are looking for pretty, nine times out of ten they are looking for someone pretty also)
Am I ready, willing and able to date?
(In this day and age we are all very busy BUT we with phone, text, emails etc, there is no reason to not be in touch with someone every day)
Take the time to ask yourself these questions AND most importantly, take the time to give yourself honest answers. These three simple questions can help you correct any "mistakes" that you may be making in choosing the right people to date. Remember the goal is to cast the broadest dating net that you can! Don't make the mistake of creating a list of intangible qualities that the other person must have. This can only make your dating pool smaller and smaller. Instead of brushing people off, get to know them first.
And remember, I am here for you if you need me.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Matchmaker,
Follow Charlie Maffei on Twitter: www.twitter.com/CMatchmaker